Westdale Secondary School - Le Raconteur Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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HIGH COST 0F DATI G Speaking of dating, let's not speak of it, it costs too much. Oh, for the days when men were men and a dollar was a dollarg when you could take a girl out to all the spots in town in your old Model Pi and it would only set you back about two dollars! lt is getting to be that you have to save all your sheckels for a couple of weeks just so you can go to a show and have a soda afterwards! Of course, the show that she wants to see is on the other side of town, so you have to dig down and put some gas in the car at forty-two cents a gallon. Then, it seems that all the parking spots are filled and so it costs you two-bits to park in a parking lot! You try to smuggle her in to the show as a child but DICK MQRSHQLL. the ticket girl disagrees so you have to buy two sixty-five cent tickets. Hfter the show, she is always hungry and wants to go for a ride in your gas-burning coupe. So, off you go to her favourite eating spot and deplete your wallet while she fills herself with sandwiches and sodas. By this time, it is twelve o'clock, and she was supposed to be in early. Her dear daddy is usually waiting up to give you the works for, deliberately keeping his little girl out so late! But you finally escape and go home with a light heart and a light wallet. They say that it's all for the love of a woman, but l wonder if it's worth it. ri6.T?QL:3 DETE TIO S H detention is just a word until you have one. ln order to inform any uninitiated students of its meaning, a definition is offered. That infallible source of information, the dictionary, Clfunk and Wagnall Standard Unabridged Editionl, defines a detention as an act of keeping back or withhold- ing: confinement or restraint: delay . This essay is going to deal with the second meaning and the way in which it applies to students. Pl detention may mean anything from a few minutes after four to two months in the office and don't you let me catch you doing that again . Pi detention means what it implies-confinement, outright confinement, and after two weeks it seems to be imprisonment. lf one happens to get caught throwing an ink- ball in class, one gets a detention. lf one happens to get caught putting thumbtacks on the teacher's chair, one gets a detention. lf one happens to forget to do homework, due to the unfortunate HVRUM PQLLOCK. death of a grandmother, one gets a detention. ln these days of scarcities and high prices, a deten- tion is about the easiest thing to get, and is, in fact, almost unavoidable. Evading a detention is an altogether different matter from receiving it. There are the time-tested excuses that every teacher hears constantlyg such as l have to catch the bus or l have an appoint- ment with the dentist . Most teachers' hearts can not be penetrated by these excuses because of their lack of originality. With such teachers an excuse which is original, such as, I have to visit my father who is in jail is preferred. If even this does not work, the teacher must be Mr. Devitt, and if that is the case, there is no hope. The moral of this essay is Hvoid detentions and then you will not be inconvenienced by the un- certainty and risk involved in getting out of them . 25

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GREAT FAMILY EXPECTATIO S From the minute my mother saw me she knew I was a genius: but she was confronted with the task of proving it to the world. I remember her frequently saying to her lady visitors! One day my little girl will lead the women to the summits of equality with men . Yes, I was her joy and pride. Hs an infant, I slowly drove the neighbours insane with my nightly howling and screeching, or as mother called it, the exercising of my vocal chords. When I reached the comparatively ad- vanced age of four, every week father would take me down to the Conservatory for my music lesson. My teacher, an elderly spinster, often accused me of not practising my lesson sufficiently-an accusa- tion which of course wasn't true as I was a genius and didn't need as much practice as an average child. She also threatened me that if I didn't prac- tice ,enough a frog would grow in my throat and nip my singing career in the bud. However, to the great distress of both the teacher and myself I con- Linued my lessons for three years of torture. During this time, I staged a few performances in front of small audiences. Mother was so proud of me. She knew I would be a great opera singer some day, but first, I must distinguish myself in minor roles. Following this policy, mother persuaded the .eacher to allow me to sing a solo at the annual recital for which I practised hours on end. I left for zfte concert hall full of confidence. I heard my number being announced. Gracefully I stepped out on the stage and all was silent. Everyone was waiting. I was stricken with fear. I began to sing but the melody would not flow. I made another stammering effort at the beginning lines, but alas, my vocal chords would not obey. Terrified, I screamed, Mother, the frog has grown in my throat, and blindly ran off the stage. I received much sympathy and many words of encourage- ment, but all was in vain. My music career had ended. Poor mother, although she was humiliated at the recital, she was not discouraged. She decided music was not my field at all-of course not! I should be an actress and maybe some day even produce great plays of my own. The following month, mother enrolled me as a member of the Local Iunior Drama Club. I attended classes regu- larly and tried very hard, spending hours of pre- cious time practising. Nevertheless, my teacher had no hope for me. She insisted I was much too clumsy for an actress. In spite of this warning, LOUISE ONISCHUK mother remained stubborn: and as a result, I kept on studying drama for two years. I no longer pos- sessed my fear of the stage and as a consequence, my teacher offered me a minor role in a very im- portant play which was being produced. Hs part of my contribution to the play, I was to pick up grace- fully a handkerchief which the heroine had drop- ped. Opening night! The instructress warned me that I must be careful and perform perfectly. I assured her that she could rely on me. I was standing at the back of the stage, when suddenly- FLOP! Having tripped over my own feet, I fell flat on my face. I didn't dare get up. Finally in the midst of all the confusion I had caused, they carried me off the stage. With such elegance did my drama career terminate. Mother was disgusted with me, but I was proud of myself. Ht last I could live a normal life. For three years I enjoyed freedom. But as I anticipated, it couldn't last forever. One day mother came home very enthused, having enrolled me in the swimming class. Q thousand dollar award was being offered to anyone under sixteen who could swim the English Channel. Wouldn't it be won- derful if I could win this money? Back to the old grind of taking lessons. One year after being taught swimming, I was racing across the pool when I sank. Down! Down! Down I went! The instructress dived in and brought me to the surface unconscious. On regaining consciousness, I real- ized I did not have the strength to be a long-dis- tance swimmer. Hnother disappointment for mother. The following fall, I entered high school. My first four years passed in an ordinary fashion. I was average in most of my subjects and found no difficulty in being recommended. However, in the fifth year, things changed-but fast! To mother's astonishment and pride, I was chosen to be cheer leader. Thanks to this accomplishment, I netted myself a very handsome beau-quite an achieve- ment at our school. Hlso, my marks improved to quite an extent and to the great amazement of young and old, I graduated USUMMH CUM Li3lUDE . I had at least fulfilled PHRT of my family expectations. Two years after graduating from high school, I married my very handsome beau . Ht present we have a beautiful home and two children, a boy and a girl. Plnd guess what-the girl, who is four years old, is taking vocal lessons from my old singing teacher. GREPIT FHMILY EXPECTH- TIONS ! ! ..,g5?... 24

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WI-10? The pale moon that was lost in the clouds of that fateful night occasionally broke through to illumin- ate the touring bus at rest in the city. H woman stepped aboard it, glanced through the bus, and looked at the driver. She handed him her ticket and remarked, 'Tm afraid that your company's idea of a moonlight sightseeing tour isn't very popular. Your only other passengers are those two young couples in the back . Thats right, lady, answered the driver. He then spoke to the other passengers. Hs long as there's only six of us, we may as well get acquainted. My names Bones: you can call me Bill. l was chosen to conduct this tour through Sleepy Hollow because l am a descendant of Brom Bones. You've all heard of himp he's the hero of Washington lrving's tale, 'The Headless Horsemanf Well, let's shove off . The bus left the city and in half an hour turned off from the bright highway down a dark, narrow country lane. The driver continued to recite his descriptions, ln a few minutes we will be passing through Tarrytown. This is Sleepy Hollow l'll stop the bus here. You remember that here, Brom Bones, my great-great-grandfather, outwitted the HQNK SKOCZYLHS. schoolmaster, lchabod Crane. No one has heard of or seen lchabod since that day, You can all get out for a look and a breath of air. Hurry back: the bus leaves in fifteen minutes . Hfter the sightseers had gone, the driver leaned back and relaxed. He glanced up at his rear-view mirror and noticed that someone was sitting behind him. The stranger's face was pale and thing a hooked nose stuck out sharply: his eyes were cold and glassy, and the flesh hung limply around them. He placed his bony, colourless hand upon the driver's shoulder, and through his green-tinged lips issued a gurgle that said, I have been waiting for you, Mister Bones. lt has been a long time- The black night seemed to become blacker, as if the moon had blown a fuse: the stillness of the dark countryside seemed to increase incredibly. The sightseers, who by this time were beginning to return to the bus, were rudely startled by a horrible scream. They ran to the busy there they found the driver dead, his face frozen in an expres- sion of ghastly fear. They said that he died of fright. Who could the stranger have been? WHO? Pls quickly as the falcon snatches its prey From out the air, on wings so light, So does the gathering dusk leave day- Pl forgotten yesterday with morrow bright. Rnd as the night on silent wings doth glide, Bringing morn where no shadows hide To darken thoughts and dim our views, Or mar our little happiness, few Dark thoughts flash across the mind Of this sunny day, of temperature kind: For though we walk with thoughtless aim, We inwardly thank God for the gifts that came: Matchless beauty of high-riding clouds Encompassing the sun like large death shrouds. Through the morn and afternoon, These exotic clouds on the earth have cast Darkened glances of an endless tunep Hnd as the sun once more sinks, another day we've safely passed. ROGER IONES. 26