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Page 133 text:
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The members of the Legenda Executive board and staff have been exposed to a volley of many brilliant remarks and wise cracks about the amount of money they must be making from the 1923 Legenda. One of the most brilliant was addressed to the Business Manager. It is: You must be making a lot of money off the Legenda. I see you had a new pair of shoestrings for Easter. In order to disillusion the public we publish the following. Financial Statement of the 1923 Legenda ASSETS LIABILITIES Organization $ 77.00 Covers $ 250.00 Sale of Copies 877.50 Engraving 450.00 Advertising 937.00 Printing 1171.74 Cash received for running slams 47.00 Extra Photographic work to Bribes to keep out slams 200.00 make Faculty look wise 65.00 Redehiption of pictures of Suits for libel 43.00 friends of the Staff 26.00 Salary to Business Mgr. for Advertising Mgrs. ' aesthetic ideas .23 cleaning up office .98 Cough syrup for Pitts after trying to sell Grohman an add .50 1 bottle of Peruna for Editor ' s nervous breakdown 1.00 Gold cuspidor and engraving for same 77.50 Reimbursement to Art Editor for loss of socializing at 10c per hour 50.00 Paid Saginaw Fire Dept. for keeping Pitts out of Editor ' s office 56.00 $2164.73 $2164.72 Total Assets $2164.73 Total Liabilities 2164.72 Favorable Margin .01 The profit goes to the Student Relief Fund. Note: A requisition for half-soles for McGovern ' s shoes after advertising campaign was completed, was refused.
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Page 132 text:
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Emmaline Kennedy: Oh, Don you ' re cruel. How could you cut a poor worm in two. Dankert: Aw, Emmaline, he seemed so lonesome. Would-be-suicide : Don ' t rescue Ine, I want to die. French (at Scout Camp) : Well, you ' ll have to postpone that, I wanta life saving medal. Whiz : Why doesn ' t the devil serve ice cream? Bang: Whereinhell could he get it, Sober Brother: I ' ve come to bail you out. Drunk Brother (in jail) : You don ' t — hie — have to bail me — hie — out. I ' m not full. Mother: Edna, don ' t you think this boy is a little fast for you? Edna: Yes, but I think I can get him. It was a beautiful night. Louis was trying to conceal his state of intoxication. Suddenly he looked up and said: Shay, the moon ' s as full as a — hie — goose, ain ' t it? Say, is that the moon rising over there? Metcalf: I ' m sure I don ' t know. I ' m a stranger here myself. Navarro : Oh, Tony getta hit in da face with a pickaxe and knocka out all da teeth. Izzo : Too bad for poor Tony! Navarro : Oh, not so bad. She gonna get- ta falsetto. Tea will be served in the annex tomorrow. All wi ' mmen be there. Jack Ferguson will pour. K. O. Lady: Officer, arrest that strap- hanger. Officer: What is the complaint? K. O. Lady: I heard him tell the other man that he was going to pinch my seat when I left the car. Marguerite Campbell : Somehow, you seem familiar. MacDonald: Gee, lady, I haven ' t started yet. Ross: Well, I ' m afraid that train will beat us to the crossing. Metcalf: That ' s not what I ' m afraid of. It might be a tie. Dr. Purmort: Here ' s something queer. You say this tooth has never been worked on before, but I find small flakes of gold on my instrument. Pitts (moaning) : I think you have struck my back collar button. Lovette : Comfy, Dear? She : Ummhummm. Lovette: Sure you ' re happy here? She : Ummhummm. Lovette: Then if you ' ll excuse me, I ' ll be running in. I must get a dance wath Gene- vieve. Needham (at banquet) : Have some more pudding, Snyder? Hank: Oh, just a mouthful. Needham: Hey, waiter! Fill up Snvder ' s plate. Ferguson: I would gladly die for you, but for one thing. She: And what is that? Ferguson: I ' m afraid you couldn ' t stand the loss.
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