West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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i m m 4?i Teacher: Ikey, give me a sentence con- taining the word ' statute. ' Ikey: Father came home late last night, and mother said, ' is dat you Ikey? ' Chuck: Has your fortune eveir been told? Edna: No, but I dare say papa will tell yours if you really have serious intentions. Miss A. Boyle: Oh, Mr. Bassett, tell me how they m ' ake an end run. Smiley: They step on his heels if he doesn ' t Jazz Class Gave Her Permanent Wiggle She learnt the fox trot one step too — And with the tango took a chance But oh, she met her Waterloo At the St. Vitus Dance. K. Schurr: Hey Mickey, can you lend me five? Mick McGovern: Sure, got change for a dime? Joe Schmiegel (as canoe rocks) Don ' t be afraid, we ' re only ten feet from land. She (anyone) where is it? Joe : Underneath us. Burrows: She asked me to kiss on either cheek. ' ' Nan B. Which one did you kiss her on? Roz : I hesitated a long time between them. Sun : Ran across Jim downtown yester- day. Set: Yeah, how was he? Sun : Tough, I only cracked two ribs and bent the axle. M. Hinkley : Alger kissed me last night. Mother (indignantly) That is outrageous, did you sit on him? Mary: I did. Dentist: Awfully sorry, miss but I just tore out a piece of your gum. Stenographer: That ' s all right. Just stick it under the chair and I ' ll get it as I go out. C. Norton: Doesn ' t that girl look like Helen Brown? I. Izzo: Yes, but she looks worse in white. Mr. Haggard: Haven ' t you any trade? What did you do before you got into this awful condition? J. Needham: I ' m a season worker, sir, my profession was smoking glasses for eclip • es of the sun. 8i SiSiSSSSiSS H. Booth : Do you believe in clubs for women? F. Galarno : You bet, clubs, sandbags, or any old thing. Please Don ' t Laugh B. Reins (in theatre) : Mother, when do the Indians come in? Mrs. R. : Why, there are no Indians in this show. Bobby: Well then, who scalped all the men in the front row? Mertz : Listen to that motor. It runs like a Packard, doesn ' t it? Murray: What did you do to it? Mertz: Put some monkey glands in the gasoline. Will Dembinske : Did you ever see a rab- bit with a tin ear? Pinkey: No, did you? Will: Sure, in a shooting gallery. Miss D. Boyle: Have you ' Simon Called Peter ' ? Carney Palmer: Sorry, we are out of that just now. Miss Boyle: Well, suggest some other stimulating piece of New Testament fiction. Very Good. Miss Clark: Give me a good example of a concidence. K. Schurr: My father and mother were married the same day. Say there, black man, can ' t you play honest? Ah, knows what cards ah done dealt you! G. Karow : What ' s showing at the movies tonight? B. Kissell: I ' m not quite sure, but I hear she wears only some beads. Mrs. Eskimo: Where have you been for the last six months? Mr. Esk. I sat up all night with a sick friend. Mr. Maynard : I see by the gasoline tank that you didn ' t get far last night? Son Tracy: Well father, I ' m not com- plaining any. This is entirely a matter of course, said the golfer as he approached the tee. Silver Dersch: What the difference be- tween Ammonium and ammonia? Freddie Bliss: One is the smell of the other.

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Son : Papa, tell me a joke. Papa (interested in paper) : mama? ' How about Bugs Dice: I came awfully close to pick- ing up a girl tonight. Kid Burns: How ' s that? Bugs Dice: ' I asked her if she ' d like to take a ride and she ' No! ' No Extra Charge, Either. Waiter! There ' s a fly in my ice cream. Serves him right; let him freeze. Wife (finding husband drunk) : John, this is the last straw. Husband: Thass awright, m ' dear; I never use ' em. Just give me the bottle. F. Cherry: Did you ever kiss a girl when she wasn ' t expecting it? A. Diebel: I doubt it. H. Doering (in Maga ' s trying to cut his steak) : Say, waiter, how was this steak cooked? Waiter: Smothered in onions, sir. Doering: Well, it died hard. J. Lewis: Miss Vanderhoof ' s sick in bed today. F. Galarno: Thasso? What ' s the com- plaint? Lewis: No complaint, everybody ' s satis- fied. Miss Boyle (in 11th English) : What does a king sit on? B. Ross: On his throne, Miss Boyle: Now, Bert, construct a sen- tence using the word ' throne ' correctly. B. Ross: Father gave me such a licking that I can ' t set on my throne. T. Appleby: Waiter, bring me the nine things I like. Waiter: What are they, sir? T. Appleby: Hash. She : The women of today are able to meet any situation. He : If I were to kiss you, how would you meet the situation? She : Face to face. Flip Kessel : Have you read the write-up in the Bible of the Egyptian tennis game? Mr. Haggard: No, what does it say? Flip Kessle: Joseph served in Pharaoh ' s court. I call my girl snapshot, because every where I go she wants to be taken. Is that so? I call mine film, because she ' s so well developed. R. Hart: I think Reginald French is the most modest man I ever knew. H. Snyder: How ' s that? R. Hart: Why, his girl called him on the phone this morning and he wouldn ' t answer because he was in his pajamas. Orchestra Drummer: I ' m the fastest man in the world. Violinist: How ' s that? O. D.: Time flies, doesn ' t it? v.: So they say. O. D. : Well, I beat time. Abe. O. : I sure miss the cuspidor since it has gone. L. Rankin : You did that when it was here, that ' s why it is gone. M. LaFluer: Have you a match for this blouse? Haughty Sales Girl: Yes, and I ' ll give you some kerosene, too. The stingiest fellow we ' ve heard of yet is Cliff Curott. He had a toy baloon vulcan- ized yesterday. There was a stage star named Celestus, When she danced the applause was tempestu- ous She whirled and she tripped ' Till her shoulder strap slipped And they had to ring down the asbestus. ■ ' Ponies ? Mr. Schrieber: Now, Mr. Dankert, don ' t you think you had better turn the page? You already have translated the first ten lines on the following page. ' Chaperone at Senior Party: What do you mean by letting that young man kiss you, part of the performance took place right un- der my nose. V. Shurry: Then what are you kicking about? C. Murray: Got a nail in your tire? Tiny Mertz : Naw, ran over a fork in the road. Tell a girl a good story and she ' ll laugh at it. Tell her a bad one and she ' ll repeat it. ' No, Hazel, getting a ring out of a dumb- bell is not as easy as it sounds. Now that the skirts are getting longer, the girls are again leaving a little to our imagi- nation. E. Hudson: Why the crepe over the kitchen sink? Who ' s dead? M. Myer: Crepe? Oh, that ' s the towel.

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Kiss you? I should say not. Why, I don ' t even know your name. Pardon me, it ' s Izzo. Oh, that ' s different. Criterion item : Not long ago a heavy weight lifter lifted and held up four pianos. Earl Shaler: S ' nothin! A girl in our town lifted her skirts when she got on a car and held up nine street cars. Chuck: Are you fond of nuts? Edna : Is this a proposal ? He: What do you do in dramatics? She: Oh, I ' m the new stage-coach. What do you do? He : Oh, I ' m the fast mail. Father to daughter (after examining her expense account) : Do you think silk stock- ings are absolutely necessary? Anna Drensky: Certainly — up to a cer- tain point. Nan Bauer: I ' ll never trust any man in the dark. H. Snyder: It ' s a cinch you have nothing to fear in the day time. Flat: Ja hear about those cruel police- men? Foot: No, what ' d they do? Flat: Cut off a burglar ' s retreat. M. McGovern (over the phone) : Wanna go out for a ride? V. Schury: Is this party formal or in- formal? M. M.: Whadda ' ya mean? V. S. : Hair net — or no hair net? M. Theobald: Curly, why did you fall for me? C. Norton : Your line was just long enough to trip me. M. Budde: kiss me? C. Johnson : least resistance. Why do all the men want to Oh men follow the line of Pinkey: Yes, I was a Freshman once; some of the happiest years of my life were spent as a Freshman. Lip-stick: What do you mean she has teeth like the stars? Hair-oil : They come out at night. Ardussi (having hard time with tuning fork) : This thing ' s no good. Mr. Polsen : Take it back to the farm and get one with a better pitch to it. Tunes on Nothing at All Some authors write of the age of Jazz Condemn its folk and flasks; While others hand social affairs the razz, And rip off society ' s masks. Then some say the government ' s going to sot, And politics are a pest. That all our laws are a lot of rot, And the Bolshevik system is the best. I too, some nasty cracks and wise. About this earthly flock, Would pass. Alas, those other guys Have left me nought to knock. Did happier things exist (they don ' t) With them I ' d have m y fling. But they do not, and sc I won ' t Attempt to write a thing. E. Appelby: The only men I kiss are my brothers. A. Grigg: What fraternity do you belong to? How doth the gentle laundress Search out the weakest joints And always tear the buttons off At most strategic points? Ashes to ashes Dust to dust If Geometry don ' t kill us Trigonometry must. By a Junior. I wish I were a Senior and could with the Seniors stand, With a fountain pen behind my ear and a notebook in my hand. I wouldn ' t be an emperor, I wouldn ' t be a king, I wouldn ' t be an angel For angels have to sing. I ' d rather be a Senior and never do a thing. There was a hefty bold Who came from toity-toid A goil had he Who flung, did she, A wicked adenoid. A peach came walking down the street; She was more than passing fair; A smile, a nod, a half-closed eye, And the peach became a pair. A lovely girl was Mary Jane, She got all wet out in the rain. Her dress so thin Clung to her skin There ain ' t no loss without a gain. He failed in Physics, flunked in Chem. They heard him softly hiss, — I ' d like to catch the guy who said That ignorance is bliss.