West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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The Evolutions of a High School Student E. Ewing, ' 22 To the minds of the High School students in general, the produc- tion of polished, full-fledged high school graduates is a slow, long, and tedious process. To elucidate this extremely serious matter for the benefit of those mortals who are inclined to disbelieve the statement, the following proof is given : The first step in the manufacture of this sturdy product is known only as the first stage, better expressed in classical high school language as The Freshman Knows That he Knows Not. About the greenest things on this green earth of ours are those small microbes of humanity, the Verdant Frosh. When on some bright morning in September they toddle uncertainly through those magnifi- cent portals, leading into the Halls of Education, and wend their bewildered way from one part of Pandemonium to another, they are oftimes mistaken for poor lost cribblings, and advised, by some well- meaning Senior (who has forgotten that he was at one time of similar color) , just where to find the nearest policeman to convey them safely home to mama. The first five days are the hardest, and if a Freshman is fortunate in surviving that fatal period, there are hopes that he may live. A Freshman ' s life is just one darned thing right after another, with hardly ten minutes for lunch in between. If the little rascal happens to have been born under a lucky star, he MAY escape that terrible abolution called ducking. Few are fortunate in this age, however. In the course of this stage of development the same old marve- lous busts and pictures are strewn about the halls, upon which each freshman must inevitably cut his eye teeth. There is the same matting on the stairs over which each student must trip in order to learn to look out for it next time. There are the same ponderous passages in the Odessy through which each must wade, (although the book is dry) in the footsteps of the preceding class; the same jokes at which he must bite, and choke hard, before he realizes that the Sophomore ' s sole mission in life is to catch the unwary little atom in the same traps into which the said Soph ' walked at the same time three hundred and sixty- five days previo ' is. Countless thousands of trials and tribulations of the new comers could be mentioned in connection with this first stage, but as there is scarce time and material with which to write the volume, it shall be left to be discussed at length, on some future date. The next step, or stage through which this waif of humanity must pass is the Doubtful Stage. The Sophomore Knows Not that he Knows Not. During this time in the production of a graduate, the Sophomore feels uncertain about himself — his brain — his nerve — his heart — his appearance — in fact,

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LITERARY

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anything, almost, that pertains to his mortal being. When he was a Freshman he received all A ' s to take home to Papa. His conduct was perfect — why, he even clasped his hands on the desk before him when they were otherwise unoccupied. The teacher used to pat him on the head and say, What a sweet child. So genteel ! Not so now ! Indeed ! He receives mostly C ' s with an occasional D or E mixed in for variety. Why? He does not know. Can it be that he is not as brilliant as he used to be, or is it that the teachers have just had a general pick on him? (Left unsolved.) Then his nerve — Gee ! but he has a lot more than he thought he had. Why, when his mathematics teacher sent him in to Mr. Haggard the other day, he didn ' t cry, or anything. Gee ! It is believed that about the greatest doubt one of these sproutin ' young ' uns entertains is concerning his heart. Now, honest, he asks himself. Why is it that I have such sudden attacks of heart palpitation every time I meet a certain fair dam- sel in the hall, and what in the dickens makes my face so red and warm, and my eyes to become moist if this charming Miss deigns not to favor me with a patronizing glance? Really, I think I had better stay at home a day or two under medical care, I ' m all in but my shoe strings. Naturally the above uncertainty leads to the grave doubt, I won- der why my shoes seem so dusty? I must have a comb for my vest pocket. Wonder if she likes this pink tie or if I ' d better get a green one? Gradually this malady becomes more grave until he must have a pair of long trousers, which seem to pacify him a little. The next cycle through which each student must pass before he sees his alias affixed to a diploma is the polishing stage, expressed in the simple terms, The Junior Knows Not that he Knows. When this gallery of learning has been attained, he is then able to peer dov n condescendingly into the balcony occupied by Sophomores, and to the ground floor upon which new Freshies gambol friskily on the green. Still his ambitions tempt him to dream of one sweet day when he shall be subjugated by no one, shall have to pay no one homage. During this stage the ordinary stude steps out. Sometimes this event occurs during the Freshman or Sophomore year and rarely not until the Senior year, but ordinarily during the polishing stage. It is at this time that these pilgrims to the shrine of graduation develop a singular mania for devising a patois — French for dialect, which is employed for lending a certain distinguished air to the user. A certain peculiarity of this species of humanity is the common ten- dency- to pick up some fragment of a quotation, generally known, and repeat this on every possible occasion, whether it is appropriate or not. A good example of a present day exclamation, whether regarding a fall down stairs or a teacher ' s simple sneeze, is Hold ' er. Newt, She ' s