West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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Feet I always like to see the guys that have the funny feet. In this for feet of awful size, our dear school can ' t be beat. We hear a clatter on the stairs (some one has come upon us) And then the students, they all say, There goes Gunboat Thomas. Then listen to the awful clank that sounds upon the floor, And hear a gent in army shoes go tramping past the door. The boys in Oxfords and wool socks all have their tribula- tion; They shuffle by all wild of eye and itching like tarnation. There goes a girl in man ' s low shoes and we know we ' re in luck Since we know we can watch her antics queer with feet just like a duck. And when we see the mob all from the hallway disappear- ing. We know they hear the feet of dear teachers that they ' re fearing. We pipe the girls who jam their feet in shoes six times too small And wonder if they think that that will make the fellows fall. Small feet, means aristocracy, and breeding, too, perhaps. But this tight squeeze and girls like these spread pain across our maps. But then we cannot criticise, the fellows are as bad, We hate to view a pointed shoe upon a high school lad. Last winter it was terrible — the clanks and clinks and sloshes, Instead of something wearable the whole gang donned ga- loshes. But leather ' s high enough to beat about a dozen bands. So we think that just to save our feet we ' ll walk upon our hands. Love, you are the light of my heart, said she. As she fondly kissed him good- night. Then said her mama From the top of the stairs, Daughter, put out the light. All Fagged Out G. Kaiser — How do you know that cigarettes are bad for the wind? Red French — Why, haven ' t you noticed a fellow who smokes always puffing? Uncle and niece stood watch- ing the young people dancing about them. I bet you never saw dancing like this back in the nineties, eh, Unkie? Once — but the place was raided. In the Future Scene : McGovern and his most excellent wife dining. In breezed a short skirted damsel, who see- ing no one else in sight, proceeds to vamp Mickey. Swelling up slightly, Mickey remarks: My dear, that girl over there is smiling at me. That ' s all right. replied the better half, I nearly died laugh- ing the first time I saw you.

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Laura, queen of the cannibals, had just finished the last juicy morsel of a poet. Your Royal Highness, what epitaph shall we place over his bones? The Queen pondered deeply for a moment; then a roguish smile played around the corners of her mouth. Why not simply say ' Here lies the poet laureate ' ? Thompsons Miss Van Ness — What do we mean when we say the whole is greater than any of its parts? Handsome Harry — A restaur- ant doughnut. I ' m quite a man of the whirled, said the he-flapper proudly, as the belle of the ball taught him how to pivot. Proof J. Turner — Do you believe in heredi ty? E. Walker— Certainly, I do. Kid Yanachalk, the prizefighter, has a new baby, and it has black eves. The Consideration Gunboat T. — Would you mar- ry a girl on ten dollars a week? Geo. K. — Yes, if she had a steady job. Friskie — You know I had my nose broken in three places last summer? Pearson — But why do you al- ways persist in going to such places? Heard during Senior Play prac- tice: Miss Smith — Have you had any experience in acting? Don McL. — Oh, yes, I have played the part of the nut in Ben Bolt. Editor — Ever do anything in the literary line? Applicant — Oh, yes; I used to be a second story man. H.Mertz (proudly) — You ' ll always find some of the big bugs at our hotel. Spiek. — I know it. I slept there one night. E. Appelby — I ' m studying ' The Sofa, ' by Cooper, won ' t you come over and help me? R. Bingham — Sure, we ought to get together on that. Da noive of dat guy, com- plained Jimmy, the demon office boy, Off ' erin ' me six dollars a week. Wha ' s he think I am? A college graduate? Knicker. — Did you read about that car with the gold radiator cap that was on displav at the New York Auto Show? ' Bocker. — No, but I myself once saw a car with Diamond tires. She — That coach is a won- derful conversationalist. He — He ought to be — he spends the whole season improv- ing his line.

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No Trifler She — What do you mean by kissing me? What do vou mean? He — Eer, er, nothing. She — Then don ' t youdare do it again. I won ' t have any man kissing me unless he means busi- ness, d ' ye hear? It ' s Ajar! E. Peters — I ' ve got a new girl, Dad. Father — You have? What ' s her name? E. Peters — I call her ' Hinges ' . Father— How come? E. Peters — She ' s something to adore. Oh, Slush! A Deibel (in music store) — Sav, Mister, have vou ' Baby Dreams ' ? Kute Klerk — No, but I have winning ways. Style, Boy, Style Here comes a plucky girl. How do you know? Look at her eyebrows. Helen S. — Why, I can ' t marry you. You ' re penniless. Hopeful Bike — That ' s noth- ing, the Czar of Russia was Nicho- las. Try This on Your Piano Of hideous noises There is none that is worse Than the blood curdling cry Of a Ford in reverse. Insubordinate Fowl Hiking through the small French town, an ignorant chicken, unversed in the appe- tites of American darkies, crossed the road in front of a colored de- tachment. With much zeal, a sol- dier broke forth from the ranks and set out in pursuit. Halt! Bellowed the otficer in charge. Bothfowl and negro only accelerated their paces. Halt! Hall! repeated the officer. The dusky doughboy made one plunge, grasped the chicken by the neck, and stuffed it, still struggling, inside his shirt. Dere! he panted, Ah ' ll learn you to halt when de cap- tain says halt, vou disobedient bird. Old Maid — Oh, conductor, please stop the train. I dropped my wig out the window. Conductor — Never mind, ma- dame, there ' s a switch just this side of the next station. A sailor came home unexpect- edly, threw his arm around his missus and kissed her. Without turningfrom her ironing she mur- mured, a quart o ' milk and a pint o ' cream. Eddie W.— Esther A. fell down the other day and they thought her leg was broken. Gib S.— What did they do? E. W. — They took her to a hospital. G. S.— Was her leg broke? E. W.— Naw, they found a quarter and a two dollar bill in her stocking.