West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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Recitations I like to watch my friends re- cite when they have studied half the night, and haven ' t had a thing to eat, and have to stand upon their feet. They look at teacher with an eye that shows they only hope to die, and plainly say, I do not choose to entertain, to in- struct, or amuse. And the teach- er ' s heart-beats sink; she knows this scholar ' s on the blink, her recitation is a shame so shed a tear for that poor dame. She calls upon the class-room wit, who rises up to make a hit with cracks that are just terrible, and with humor from the Jeffers- Strand that really is unbearable. No one could laugh if he should try ; we all would like to clout that guy. There in the back row is a freak who waves his mit and wants to speak. He wants to spill some chatter rare, so snaps his lunch-hooks in the air, and adding strength to this uproar, he stamps his feet upon the floor — we never can forgive this pill who cannot keep his voice-box still. There is a girl far down the row, who ' ll tell you what you want to know, wherever choicest scandal is she goes right there and plants her phiz, and then next mom drags into class to let the rarest gossip pass. You think her line will never stop ; we all would like to ditch this wop. Now cast your lamps upon the bum, who wraps his mug around some gum, and while the class is in debate, he comes there just to ruminate. He surely is a mental dud, who comes to school to chew a cud. Just pipe the wren with vacant bean, and sheerest waist of crepe de chine, whose coiffure is a fearful task, and socks show more than one could ask. She is a boob who thinks that we ' re a suburb of Gay Paree. She does not know in school one looks to garner knowledge out of books. Of common sense, she has no crumb, her skull is but a vacuum. And last, just gaze upon the lad who is an Arrow collar ad. You know his hair is either oiled, as- phalted, greased, or plain hard- boiled. His form is in a garment cased that grabs him snugly round the waist. The pants-leg crease of the poor John is one to sharpen pencils on. His dress is free from baser taint, so flannel shirts would make him faint. Oh, yes, some funny beings pass when ' ere I chance to go to class! Lovely Girl Mother: Listen, Abe, you don ' t want to marry that girl. Why, everybody in town kisses her. Abe: Veil, the town ain ' t so beeg. The Bachelor ' s Song The boys have many faults. The girls have only two. Everything they say And everything they do.

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First Cannibal : I understand you nearly choked to death at dinner last night. Second Same: Yep, had a high school boy for the main course, and the chef forgot to take the herringbone suit off him. Noble Line Her Father: My daughter, sir, sprang from a line of peers. The Lover: Well, I jumped off a dock once myself. City Water Spiek : I hear he drinks some- thing awful. Bunny : Yeah, I tasted it. Mother: How did you know he was following you? J.Williams: Because he kept looking around to see if I was coming. Ark-aic Hezekiah: The old man ought to hurl those hyenas overboard. Amos: How ' s come? Hezekiah: They ' re the laugh- ing stock of the Ark. Seems Natural Carney P.: I see its the cus- tomamong some of the wild tribes of Borneo to slit the tongues of a ll female children. O. Raupp: My goodness, how do they talk? Carney : They can ' t talk. That makes ' em wild. Howja Get That Stuff? C. Watkins : Are you familiar with the ' Two Gentlemen from Verona ' ? J. Rutledge (indignantly) : I want you to know that I ' m not familiar with any gentlemen — least of all those Italian guys. Pea Poolers R. Brandt: I made $5.00 play- ing pool in Roeser ' s the other day. R. Haines: Sort of ' Pocket Money ' eh? Father: My son is reckless, careless, and indifferent of con- sequences. Friend: Good heavens! I didn ' t know you had made a taxi driver out of him. D. Thomas: Everybody loves my girl. A. Struthers: I don ' t want that kind of a girl. H. Putnam: It takes my breath away to go down in a fast elevator. Edith R. : I get the same ef- fect by using Life Savers. Fast Worker Grace C. : Alvin kissed me last night. Mary H. : And I suppose you sat on him for it? Grace C: Certainly I did, but just because I sat on his lap it didn ' t give him any license to kiss me.

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A-A-Ah! It was a leg of rai-e beauty and impressed me with its symmetry of curve and artistic proportions. It seemed as if all the sculptors of ancient Greece had united their art in this masterpiece, with its magnificent, gradual tapering limbs. The spell which its aes- thetic beauty cast over me was rudely broken by the jarring notes of a masculine voice near me: All right, you birds, grab the other leg of this piano and we ' ll get it out of here in a jiflFy. Approaching Danger First Roach (on a Nabisco box) : What in heck is your hur- ry? Second Roach: Don ' t you see that sign, ' Tear along this edge ' ? Mickey : Say, Vi, were you over at the ' Annex ' the other night when the lights went out? Vi. S. : Yeh, what did you do, light out? Mickey: No, I stayed around and made connections. Pharoah: I need money! Somebody must cough up! Ameroth: Alas, sire! The coffers are all emptj ' . Heard in Physics Class Mr. Boardman — When two bodies come together with some force is heat generated? Kid Yanachalk — Not always. I hit Battling Goodrow one day, and he knocked me cold. As the tooth paste said to the tooth brush, Pinch me, kid, and I ' ll meet you outside the tube. R. Hart: Yes, I ' m out for track. Pretty Baby: Well, if you stick around with me much I ' ll increase your speed. Art Griggs : Some women are like spaghetti. Gib Smith : How ' s that? Art G. : You think you ' ve got ' em, but they slip away. Meaty Joke Said Carrie Dishes, waitress, to Callous Friskie, Just because you ' re built like a ham, it ' s no sign your swift. V. Way: Wait a minute until I buy a package of ' Elective ' . A. Schmidtke: Package of ' Elective ' ? What do you mean? V. Way: Gum. You don ' t have to take it unless you chews. Say, dot mattress vot you sold me is full of bet bugs. Vel, vot you want for two bucks, canary birds? On a mule we find two legs be- hind; We find two legs before. We swat him behind before we find That the two behind be fore. I think I ' ll drop in on the boys, said the miner as he fell down the shaft.