West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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First Cannibal : I understand you nearly choked to death at dinner last night. Second Same: Yep, had a high school boy for the main course, and the chef forgot to take the herringbone suit off him. Noble Line Her Father: My daughter, sir, sprang from a line of peers. The Lover: Well, I jumped off a dock once myself. City Water Spiek : I hear he drinks some- thing awful. Bunny : Yeah, I tasted it. Mother: How did you know he was following you? J.Williams: Because he kept looking around to see if I was coming. Ark-aic Hezekiah: The old man ought to hurl those hyenas overboard. Amos: How ' s come? Hezekiah: They ' re the laugh- ing stock of the Ark. Seems Natural Carney P.: I see its the cus- tomamong some of the wild tribes of Borneo to slit the tongues of a ll female children. O. Raupp: My goodness, how do they talk? Carney : They can ' t talk. That makes ' em wild. Howja Get That Stuff? C. Watkins : Are you familiar with the ' Two Gentlemen from Verona ' ? J. Rutledge (indignantly) : I want you to know that I ' m not familiar with any gentlemen — least of all those Italian guys. Pea Poolers R. Brandt: I made $5.00 play- ing pool in Roeser ' s the other day. R. Haines: Sort of ' Pocket Money ' eh? Father: My son is reckless, careless, and indifferent of con- sequences. Friend: Good heavens! I didn ' t know you had made a taxi driver out of him. D. Thomas: Everybody loves my girl. A. Struthers: I don ' t want that kind of a girl. H. Putnam: It takes my breath away to go down in a fast elevator. Edith R. : I get the same ef- fect by using Life Savers. Fast Worker Grace C. : Alvin kissed me last night. Mary H. : And I suppose you sat on him for it? Grace C: Certainly I did, but just because I sat on his lap it didn ' t give him any license to kiss me.

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Frances Lauer — Don ' t you think she has a rare complexion? M. Lincoln — Rather well done I ' d call it. R. Mannion — Aren ' t you los- ing flesh lately? E. Meyers — Yes, I bought a safety razor. Gritty E. Wilde — We ' re going to hit eightv in a minute. Are you afraid? J. Smith (swallowing much dust) — No, indeed, I ' m full of grit. A Put-Up Job You had to hold me up to do it, said the sweet young thing after the big, tall man had stolen a kiss. Mt Miss Dillon — Can you use the word ' element ' in a sentence? Freshie — I heard a Chinaman talking and I didn ' t know what the ' el he meant ' . Roll ' em S. Stengel — Why do you call the cloth that vour suit is made of ' dice cloth ' ? ' ' L. Wilkinson : Because it fades on me. None to Spare Judge (the morning after) : Young man, when you turned the corner before the smash up, whv didn ' t vou put out your arm? C. Murray: What do you take me for, an octopus? Ham and — A youth was brought into court charged with beating his father. What reason have you to of- fer this court why judgment should not be pronounced? thun- dered the judge. None, your honor, replied the prisoner, except that he was my meal ticket and I was only punch- ing it. To the Victor Belongs the Spoils C. Reavey: So she didn ' t ac- cept you when you proposed? E.Wilde: Sure she did. C. Reavey: But you said she threw you down. E. Wilde: She did, and held me there until I gave her the ring. We Know Him D. Wiltse : Do vou know Ray- mond Scheib? P. Hansen: I think I do, he ' s about as tall as a lamp post, isn ' t he? D. Wiltse: Yes, onlv not so bright. M. Kanzler: Is Morris Stew- art a ladies man? D. Jost: Yes, he ' s a regular nec-romancer. Conductor: Change for Mari- etta : Change for Marietta I Hick Passenger: Don ' t know who the girl is, but I ' ll chip in a dime.

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Recitations I like to watch my friends re- cite when they have studied half the night, and haven ' t had a thing to eat, and have to stand upon their feet. They look at teacher with an eye that shows they only hope to die, and plainly say, I do not choose to entertain, to in- struct, or amuse. And the teach- er ' s heart-beats sink; she knows this scholar ' s on the blink, her recitation is a shame so shed a tear for that poor dame. She calls upon the class-room wit, who rises up to make a hit with cracks that are just terrible, and with humor from the Jeffers- Strand that really is unbearable. No one could laugh if he should try ; we all would like to clout that guy. There in the back row is a freak who waves his mit and wants to speak. He wants to spill some chatter rare, so snaps his lunch-hooks in the air, and adding strength to this uproar, he stamps his feet upon the floor — we never can forgive this pill who cannot keep his voice-box still. There is a girl far down the row, who ' ll tell you what you want to know, wherever choicest scandal is she goes right there and plants her phiz, and then next mom drags into class to let the rarest gossip pass. You think her line will never stop ; we all would like to ditch this wop. Now cast your lamps upon the bum, who wraps his mug around some gum, and while the class is in debate, he comes there just to ruminate. He surely is a mental dud, who comes to school to chew a cud. Just pipe the wren with vacant bean, and sheerest waist of crepe de chine, whose coiffure is a fearful task, and socks show more than one could ask. She is a boob who thinks that we ' re a suburb of Gay Paree. She does not know in school one looks to garner knowledge out of books. Of common sense, she has no crumb, her skull is but a vacuum. And last, just gaze upon the lad who is an Arrow collar ad. You know his hair is either oiled, as- phalted, greased, or plain hard- boiled. His form is in a garment cased that grabs him snugly round the waist. The pants-leg crease of the poor John is one to sharpen pencils on. His dress is free from baser taint, so flannel shirts would make him faint. Oh, yes, some funny beings pass when ' ere I chance to go to class! Lovely Girl Mother: Listen, Abe, you don ' t want to marry that girl. Why, everybody in town kisses her. Abe: Veil, the town ain ' t so beeg. The Bachelor ' s Song The boys have many faults. The girls have only two. Everything they say And everything they do.