West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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Fire at Will Lawyer Brown — Have ah made my point, yer honor? Judge White — You have, nig- gah; shoot again. Dorothy W. — My hair is a wreck. F. Spencer — No wonder. You left the switches open. Ask Scheib- He Knows Farmer — Yes, I can give you a job. You may gather the eggs for me, if you are sure you won ' t steal any. Dirty S. — You could trust me with anything, boss. I was man- ager of a bathhouse for fifteen years an ' never took a bath. A Dead One Dorothy B.— So they had the funeral a second time? R. Gugle — Yes; rehearsed again. Results of Higher Education Student — Drive the cow this way. Boarding House Keeper — Is that the wav for a college man to ask for the milk? Student (penitently) — Drive the cow down this way, please. Terrible Bank Teller— I ' ve left my combination at home. New Steno — Heavens ! I ' d think you ' d be frozen without it. Two Dollars, Please! Edwin V. — Doctor, what ' ll I take to cure my kleptomania? Doctor (after deep thought) — Don ' t take anything, and you ' ll be cured. A Sleeper Employer — All we have for you is a job as night watchman. How soon can you commence to work at it? Dick Gugel — Just as soon as I can go home and get my pa- jamas. Freshie Wit A senior in school employed the wrong spirit one afternoon. She stared with disgust at one of the Freshies standing in the hall, and then she said, Haven ' t you a pocket handkerchief? The Freshie snuffled and an- swered, Yes ' m, but I ain ' t al- lowed to lend it. Next! One bright morning Curley Norton called for Bu Malloch and saw him shaving on the back porch. Do you always shave out- side? asked Curley. Of course, was the reply, did you think I was fur lined? Judge Clements — What were you doing chasing those bathing girls down at the beach? Bike Weil — I was enjoying the privileges granted me by the Constitution — life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. It ' s a new one on me, said the family davenport as Loretta led in her new date.

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by a friend what luck he was hav- ing. Pretty good, he said, I still have mv lantern. No Treat to Him Mrs. Santa Claus (upon her husband ' s return) — Were the styles the girls are wearing as bad as reported? Santa Claus — I ' m no judge. I ' ve been used to seeing stockings all my life. Curly Knows Bu M. — I ' ve got a date. I wonder if I ought to shave first? Curly N. — Know her very well? Bu — Yes, very well. Curly— Better shave. Nan B. — I saw a negro funeral today, and behind Gugle ' s hearse walked a number of mourners with pails. Heinie T.— Why the pails? Nan — Going blackburying. Kid Yanachalk — I hit a guy in the nose yesterday and you should have seen him run. Grube— Thatso? Yanachalk — Yeh ; but he didn ' t catch me. Esther A. (playfully)— Let me chew your gum. R. Bingham (more playfully) — Which one, upper or lower? Chuck M. — Do vou plav on the piano? Edna A. — Had to give it up. Fell off too many times. Over at the Annex Mr. Haggard (to toddling couple) — Leave the floor. Couple — Certainly, we can ' t use it at home. Ken S. — Why do you feed your dog axle-grease? Nan B. — Because it helps his waggin ' ! Nervy Gent — I adore you. Will you not be my wife? Miss Rockerlip — The idea of you proposing to a girl of my class ! You should know better. Nervy Gent — I do know bet - ter, but they haven ' t half your money. Dumb Bells Doris J. — Don ' t take this per- sonally, Tootie, but who is the dumbest person in the world? Tootie K. — Well, except for present company, the goof who thinks that a mailman, when he gets a half holiday, puts up a lunch and takes a long walk. So ' Tis So ' Tis! B. Ross— What is a boob? R. Gugel — A boob is a man who kisses a girl fifteen minutes after he meets her, and then al- lows her to persuade him that she has never been kissed before. Confession Roswell B.— Hey, Eddie, what ' s the idea of watching the hall steps all day? Eddie W. — Oh, merely a mat- ter of form.

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Frances Lauer — Don ' t you think she has a rare complexion? M. Lincoln — Rather well done I ' d call it. R. Mannion — Aren ' t you los- ing flesh lately? E. Meyers — Yes, I bought a safety razor. Gritty E. Wilde — We ' re going to hit eightv in a minute. Are you afraid? J. Smith (swallowing much dust) — No, indeed, I ' m full of grit. A Put-Up Job You had to hold me up to do it, said the sweet young thing after the big, tall man had stolen a kiss. Mt Miss Dillon — Can you use the word ' element ' in a sentence? Freshie — I heard a Chinaman talking and I didn ' t know what the ' el he meant ' . Roll ' em S. Stengel — Why do you call the cloth that vour suit is made of ' dice cloth ' ? ' ' L. Wilkinson : Because it fades on me. None to Spare Judge (the morning after) : Young man, when you turned the corner before the smash up, whv didn ' t vou put out your arm? C. Murray: What do you take me for, an octopus? Ham and — A youth was brought into court charged with beating his father. What reason have you to of- fer this court why judgment should not be pronounced? thun- dered the judge. None, your honor, replied the prisoner, except that he was my meal ticket and I was only punch- ing it. To the Victor Belongs the Spoils C. Reavey: So she didn ' t ac- cept you when you proposed? E.Wilde: Sure she did. C. Reavey: But you said she threw you down. E. Wilde: She did, and held me there until I gave her the ring. We Know Him D. Wiltse : Do vou know Ray- mond Scheib? P. Hansen: I think I do, he ' s about as tall as a lamp post, isn ' t he? D. Wiltse: Yes, onlv not so bright. M. Kanzler: Is Morris Stew- art a ladies man? D. Jost: Yes, he ' s a regular nec-romancer. Conductor: Change for Mari- etta : Change for Marietta I Hick Passenger: Don ' t know who the girl is, but I ' ll chip in a dime.