West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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by a friend what luck he was hav- ing. Pretty good, he said, I still have mv lantern. No Treat to Him Mrs. Santa Claus (upon her husband ' s return) — Were the styles the girls are wearing as bad as reported? Santa Claus — I ' m no judge. I ' ve been used to seeing stockings all my life. Curly Knows Bu M. — I ' ve got a date. I wonder if I ought to shave first? Curly N. — Know her very well? Bu — Yes, very well. Curly— Better shave. Nan B. — I saw a negro funeral today, and behind Gugle ' s hearse walked a number of mourners with pails. Heinie T.— Why the pails? Nan — Going blackburying. Kid Yanachalk — I hit a guy in the nose yesterday and you should have seen him run. Grube— Thatso? Yanachalk — Yeh ; but he didn ' t catch me. Esther A. (playfully)— Let me chew your gum. R. Bingham (more playfully) — Which one, upper or lower? Chuck M. — Do vou plav on the piano? Edna A. — Had to give it up. Fell off too many times. Over at the Annex Mr. Haggard (to toddling couple) — Leave the floor. Couple — Certainly, we can ' t use it at home. Ken S. — Why do you feed your dog axle-grease? Nan B. — Because it helps his waggin ' ! Nervy Gent — I adore you. Will you not be my wife? Miss Rockerlip — The idea of you proposing to a girl of my class ! You should know better. Nervy Gent — I do know bet - ter, but they haven ' t half your money. Dumb Bells Doris J. — Don ' t take this per- sonally, Tootie, but who is the dumbest person in the world? Tootie K. — Well, except for present company, the goof who thinks that a mailman, when he gets a half holiday, puts up a lunch and takes a long walk. So ' Tis So ' Tis! B. Ross— What is a boob? R. Gugel — A boob is a man who kisses a girl fifteen minutes after he meets her, and then al- lows her to persuade him that she has never been kissed before. Confession Roswell B.— Hey, Eddie, what ' s the idea of watching the hall steps all day? Eddie W. — Oh, merely a mat- ter of form.

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The Helping Hand Cooking Teacher — I suppose all you girls know how to wash dishes. M. Kanzler— I don ' t. Teacher— Why not? M. Kanzler — Well, you see, we ' ve always kept a dog. Swede Wit Judge — What is your name? Swede — Carl Lillisternia. J u dge — M arried ? Swede — Yes, I bane married. Judge — Whom did you marry? Swede — Oh, I marry a woman. Judge — Well, fool ; did you ever know anyone who didn ' t marry a woman? Swede — Yes, my sister; she married a man. Rastus — Say, boy, dat gal of mine sho ' do love some! Sam — Ah ' ll say she does! Rastus — Whas ' at you say, man? Sam — A-a-a-ah means, does she? Famous Lines from Famous Authors With a scream of fear, he turned and began scratching his back on the door post. They were after him again. Petrarch. why Ambulance ! Miss Boyle — Alfred, haven ' t you your lesson? A. Navarro — I had a bad fall last night, I was unconscious for six hours. Miss B. — All well and good, but how did you fall? A. N.— I fell asleep. So Do We Joe Friske — Where are you going all dressed up like that? Jim Pearson — To a dog fight. Friske — Well, I hope you win. Lady — What are you crying for, my little man? Freshie — Dunno, lady, what ya got? Martin Tanner — What ' s ' smatter? J. Powers (during English test) — Par-a-dise Lost! M. T.— Get another pair. Science Scheib — That Jumbo Haw- kins is an inventive genius. Grube — How ' s that? Scheib — He had the rear axle of his Ford magnetized so he could pick up the parts as they fell off. After that nerve-racking Thanksgiving day football game, one of our freshmen said his prayers that night thus : God bless Mother. God bless Father. Arthur Hill High School, Rah, rah, rah! An Off -Day Diogenes, searching Arthur Hill for an honest man, was asked

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Fire at Will Lawyer Brown — Have ah made my point, yer honor? Judge White — You have, nig- gah; shoot again. Dorothy W. — My hair is a wreck. F. Spencer — No wonder. You left the switches open. Ask Scheib- He Knows Farmer — Yes, I can give you a job. You may gather the eggs for me, if you are sure you won ' t steal any. Dirty S. — You could trust me with anything, boss. I was man- ager of a bathhouse for fifteen years an ' never took a bath. A Dead One Dorothy B.— So they had the funeral a second time? R. Gugle — Yes; rehearsed again. Results of Higher Education Student — Drive the cow this way. Boarding House Keeper — Is that the wav for a college man to ask for the milk? Student (penitently) — Drive the cow down this way, please. Terrible Bank Teller— I ' ve left my combination at home. New Steno — Heavens ! I ' d think you ' d be frozen without it. Two Dollars, Please! Edwin V. — Doctor, what ' ll I take to cure my kleptomania? Doctor (after deep thought) — Don ' t take anything, and you ' ll be cured. A Sleeper Employer — All we have for you is a job as night watchman. How soon can you commence to work at it? Dick Gugel — Just as soon as I can go home and get my pa- jamas. Freshie Wit A senior in school employed the wrong spirit one afternoon. She stared with disgust at one of the Freshies standing in the hall, and then she said, Haven ' t you a pocket handkerchief? The Freshie snuffled and an- swered, Yes ' m, but I ain ' t al- lowed to lend it. Next! One bright morning Curley Norton called for Bu Malloch and saw him shaving on the back porch. Do you always shave out- side? asked Curley. Of course, was the reply, did you think I was fur lined? Judge Clements — What were you doing chasing those bathing girls down at the beach? Bike Weil — I was enjoying the privileges granted me by the Constitution — life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. It ' s a new one on me, said the family davenport as Loretta led in her new date.