West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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Why is Ben Well? Why is Kendriek Failing? Who gave Jake Gass? What makes Dorothy Brown? Who will Mary V. Hart? What makes Thelma Stern? Why is Harold Daring? What makes Dona Boyle? When was Loretta Major? Why did William Stryker? What did Harold Steel? When was George Kaiser? When is Arthur Needles? — Irma McLellan. Judge — And why haven ' t you a horn on your automobile? Italian — Please, Mister Joodga, I don ' t needs da horn. It says on da front, ' Dodge Brothers ' . Trj ' ing to secure a seat at the Junior Play: Cop — It ' s fine to have a pull, isn ' t it? Ray — You bet! Do you re- member the time when vou pulled me? Magistrate — What is the charge? Policeman — Intoxication, your honor. Magistrate (to prisoner) — What ' s your name? Prisoner — Gunn. sir. Magistrate — Well, Gunn. I ' ll discharge you this time, but you mustn ' t get loaded again. Can You Imagine? How girls can fall for Wallie Reid after they ' ve seen Monk Mallock. The Boys ' Glee Club without Don McLandress. Louie Coash having a girl? It ' s true — ask Sara. Why all the girls take Current History? (Ask Jane and Helen.) Why there aren ' t five holidays a week? Why vou can ' t take home all B ' s. Who does all the humming in Fifth Hour American History class. Nothing else will do, sighed the half crazed lover, as he swung himself from the rope into the Saginaw river. That ' s what I call killing two birds with one stone, said the jewelry clerk, as the young couple fainted when he told them the price of the stone. This is what I call coming out ahead, said Sam as the owner of the hotel kicked him out — head first. Roy Paul (entering Thomp- son ' s late one night) — Do you serve lobsters here? Waiter — Sure, sit down. Heard at Ft. Huron First Spectator — I wonder how those players will get the mud off their uniforms? Second Spectator — Oh, that ' s what the scrub team is for.

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How We Get ' Em The Legenda is a wondrous thing as every Freshie knows, But most wonderful of all its lore, are the jokes that come and go. The joke ed ' s a deceitful chap with eyes of tricky hue. To hear him rave and cuss the stars and emphasize his thought. His jokes would be much better if the censor could be bought. But Mr. Haggard, he ' s right on the job, eraser in each hand And his favorite poems from the Police Gazette in the paper basket land. But the ole joke ed, despite his wail, has a job that ' s soft and easy. He cops his stuff from Life and Judge in a way that ' s simply breezy. Each evening in the Morris chair he cons the fragrant joke From weekly periodicals of the days of James K. Polk. Another trick most widely used is the verse that ' s miscalled free. With this an ordinary line that ne ' er a joke could be Becomes a wheeze that shakes the knees in mirth ' s great melody, Because our swain of mirthful vein had split one line in three, So when your friends from far and near repeat that well known strain: Your name within the Jokes I saw in quite a funny vein, Just shove the Johnny to the wall and let him have it straight. That same old joke appeared in Life in Eighteen Forty-Eight. R. Bingham — I have a new position with the railroad com- pany. R. George — That ' s fine. What are your duties? R. Bingham — You know the man that goes along the side of the train and taps the axles to see if everything is all right? Well, I help him listen. Some Tale Sarah P. — Gee, that dog has a long tail. It must be about three feet. Sadie D.— Yes, that ' s his back yard. Miss Boyle (teaching Para- dise Lost ) — How did Satan suc- ceed in getting through the Gates of Hell? M. Perkins — Oh, he handed the demons, who guarded them, a line. Miss B. — Will you please translate that? The Four W ' s What makes Eddie Wilde? Why does Roland Waite? Why does Joe Needham? What makes Jerome Hard? When is Joe Friske? What does Flossie Pierce? Why is always Dorothy Willing? Why will Marietta Boody? What Makes Russell Whyte? Why is Kenneth Shurr?

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The Helping Hand Cooking Teacher — I suppose all you girls know how to wash dishes. M. Kanzler— I don ' t. Teacher— Why not? M. Kanzler — Well, you see, we ' ve always kept a dog. Swede Wit Judge — What is your name? Swede — Carl Lillisternia. J u dge — M arried ? Swede — Yes, I bane married. Judge — Whom did you marry? Swede — Oh, I marry a woman. Judge — Well, fool ; did you ever know anyone who didn ' t marry a woman? Swede — Yes, my sister; she married a man. Rastus — Say, boy, dat gal of mine sho ' do love some! Sam — Ah ' ll say she does! Rastus — Whas ' at you say, man? Sam — A-a-a-ah means, does she? Famous Lines from Famous Authors With a scream of fear, he turned and began scratching his back on the door post. They were after him again. Petrarch. why Ambulance ! Miss Boyle — Alfred, haven ' t you your lesson? A. Navarro — I had a bad fall last night, I was unconscious for six hours. Miss B. — All well and good, but how did you fall? A. N.— I fell asleep. So Do We Joe Friske — Where are you going all dressed up like that? Jim Pearson — To a dog fight. Friske — Well, I hope you win. Lady — What are you crying for, my little man? Freshie — Dunno, lady, what ya got? Martin Tanner — What ' s ' smatter? J. Powers (during English test) — Par-a-dise Lost! M. T.— Get another pair. Science Scheib — That Jumbo Haw- kins is an inventive genius. Grube — How ' s that? Scheib — He had the rear axle of his Ford magnetized so he could pick up the parts as they fell off. After that nerve-racking Thanksgiving day football game, one of our freshmen said his prayers that night thus : God bless Mother. God bless Father. Arthur Hill High School, Rah, rah, rah! An Off -Day Diogenes, searching Arthur Hill for an honest man, was asked