West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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Laborer — Hurrah for the Red — Pugilist — What ' s that? Laborer — White and Blue. Fat — Im Mr. Morrison doesn ' t take back what he said this morning, I am going to leave High School. Jack — What did he say? Fat — He told me to leave. Then the minister spoke: Let the lights of the wicked be put out. The church became instantly dark. Then the minister spoke again with perfect presence of mind: We will now spend a few minutes of silent meditation for the electric light company. Tit for Tat Husband to young wife after a party: Was that you I kissed in the hall, love? What time was it, dear? Mr. Shepherd had reached the climax of his speech and said: Hell is full of cock-tails, high-balls, and peek-a-boo waists. Hackett (from balcony) — Oh death, where is thy stinger? Mistress (to cook from the country) — Well, what do you think of our gas fires? Cook — I think them wonderful, ma ' am. Why those in the kitchen haven ' t gone out since I came here over a week ago. That girl ' s heir — Yes, isn ' t it awful — To three million. Nice. M. Tanner — Why is an empty purse always the same, my boy? R. M. — ' fraid I can ' t tell you. M. Tanner — Why, because you never see any change in it. What ' s the matter, Abe? You ' re looking worried. Work — nothin ' but work — from morning till night. ' Ow long have you been at it? I begin tomorrow. Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far away from its body, I guess. What part of the town do you live in? I live in the petticoats. Where? Just inside the outskirts. Davis — Mother is going to act as chaperon. Ann — Is she a good one? Davis — You bet, she ' s rather deaf, and I ' ll see that she loses her glasses. No Place for a Fat Man The elevator boy was only ten years old and small for his age. Into the building wheezed a regular fat man, one of the kind nobody loves. He eyed the lad for a moment and thei observed, You ' re a pretty small boy to be running an elevator, ain ' t you. Bob? Yes, sir, answered the boy and there was a twinkle in his eye. But you see, they hired me ' cause the ropes broke with the heavier boys. The fat man painfully wheezed his way up the winding stairway. So Miss Jones is angry with her doctor. Why is that? He tactlessly remarked that he would soon have her looking like her old self again. Do you know why a man ' s hair turns gray before his mustache? No. Why? It ' s about twenty years older. Poetry — No, I Guess Not Little drops of water Freezing as they fall; Fat man ' s feet fly upward, Biff! and that is all. Fresh — Can you tell me why the Statue of Liberty ' s hand is just eleven inches - long? Soph — Why, certainly, if they had made it any longer it would have been a foot.

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Sadie Doerfnei- — Don ' t you think Albertine ' s voice ought to be cultivated? Miss Sickles — No, I think it should be harvested. A western evangelist makes a practice of painting religious mottos on rocks and stones along the public highways. On one bi ' - flat rock he painted these words, What Will You Do When You Die? An advertising gazabo came along and painted underneath that question, Use Delta Oil; Good for Burns. Judge (to prisoner) — What ' s your name? Prisoner — S-s-stephen S-s-smith, s-s-:ir. Judge — Where do you live? Prisoner — S-s-surry S-t-treet S-s-surbition, S-i-sir. Judge (to policeman) — Constable, what is this man charged with? Constable — Begor, sir, Oi think he ' j charged with sodywather. Olive— But — No! Just No. Once — No. Please — ' ' N Henry, why didn ' t you shave? Prof. Rodock — When you examine a dog ' s lungs under the microscope, what do you find? Pinky — The seat of his pants, I suppose. Frank D. — What shape is the world in? Ralph S. — The book sayj it ' s round, but dad says it ' s in a hang of a shape. Miss Rings — Mr. Smith, I see you have a bad cold. Fay (with a tremendous snuffle) — You don ' t see it now, do you? Chipie — How long can a person live without brains? Dick — How old are you? Judge — You are sentenced to hang by the neck until dead. Sentenced — Oh, Judge, I believe you are stringing me. Ruth A. — Really, I seldom cross my feet in a jitney. Hazel B. — I hardly ever wear silk ones either. Heard After the Junior Play. M. W. — Can you drive with one hand? Chas. (eagerly) — You bet I can. Marian (sweetly) — Then pick up my handkerchief from the floor, will you please? Brownie — Conditions in Mexico are still pretty muddy. Wagner — Yes, it ' s a country of frequent reigns. Grube — How was that snapshot of Morgan in his bathing suit? Skinny — No good. Chas. — What was the matter? Skinny — Too much exposure. Daring — There, I ' ll have no more trouble with this book. I just took out its appendix. Powers — Can ' t you speak to a gentleman when you see him? Gugle — Where is he? Art W. — Where do you bathe? Kid R. — In the spring. Art W. — No, no, not when. Where? Miss Kilbourne (angrily) — Do you want to talk? Class (one yell) — Yes. Miss K. — Well, I don ' t want you to. Roy (as the team goes by) — Look! There goes Friske, the short stop. He ' ll soon be our best man. Erma — Oh, Roy; this is so sudden.

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Quack — Did you follow that prescription I gave you for rheumatism? Hick — If I had I ' d have broken my neck. Quack— Why? Hick — Because I threw it out of the window. Jones — So you ' re a speculator now. What are you, a bear or a bull? Smith — Neither, they made a monkey out of me. First Hobo — They tell me that whiskey has been the death of more men than bullets. Second Hobo — Well, I ' d rather be full of whiskey than bullets, wouldn ' t you? Freshman: Irresponsible. Sophomore : Irrepressible. Junior: Irresistible. Senior: Irreproachable. A minister, putting his hand upon a young urchin ' s shoulder, exclaimed, My son, I believe the devil has got hold of you. I believe so, too, was the reply. Rankin — What kind of meat have you today? Butchei- — Best steak I ever had, as tender as a woman ' s heart. Rankin — Give me a pound of sausage. Barber to (Baldy) — Hair dyed, sir? Baldy — Yes, it died about eight years ago. Junior — He ' s got a lot of horse sense, anyway. Soph — Sort of a stable mind, eh? He — Is that you, darling? She — Yes, who is this? Small Boy — Mother, am I descended from an ape? Mother — I don ' t know, John, I never knew any of your father ' s people. Heard Between Dances Hazel B. — Gee, but Louise dances like a regular angel. Ila M. — I didn ' t know angels could dance. Hazel — They can ' t. Roscoe H. — I ' m a garage. Morgan G. — How do you get that way? Roscoe H. — A car just ran into me. Mr. Blackwell — Look pleasant, Herbert. Herbert W. — Not on your life, I ' m going to give these pictures to the girls so they won ' t want another one. Frank Mc — I hear Irma is a toe dancer. Harry G. — She sure is, the toes of my shoes are ruined. Vincent M. — Have you ever ridden on an ostrich? Elmo W. — No, but I ' ve gone off on a lark. Miss Sickles — Boys, you are just murdering that time. Dick Rankin (stage whisper) — Well, that ' s better than beating it all the time like you do. What is the most generous criminal in the world? A skunk, because he gives everyone passing a scent. Dorothy What became of the fellow you were sitting in the hammock with the other night? Caroline — We fell out. Laura and Pete were trying to get through the crowd. Laura — Don ' t you think we can squeeze in here? Pete (embarrassed) — Ah — er, don ' t you think we had better wait until we get home? Miss Morgan — When did the revival of learning begin? Kid Roeser — Just before the exam. Jim H. — I think stolen kisses are fine, don ' t you? Jack 0. — Sometimes fine, sometimes ten days.