West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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Hefron — Helup! Helup! Oxe ' s stuck in the mud. Gile — How deep? Hefron — Up to his knees. Gile — Tell him to walk out. Hefron — He ' s in the wrong way. A railroad received the following message; Dear Sirs: My razor back, strolled down your track, a week ago today. Your 29 came down the line, and snuffed his life away. You can ' t blame me, the hog you see, slipped through a cattle gate. So kindly pen a check for ten, the debt to liquidate. Yours truly, CAROL COMPTON. He received this answer: Dear Sir: Your razor back, strolled down our track, a week ago, we know. But razor b acks, on railroad tracks, quite often meet with woe. You see my friend, we cannot send, the check for which you pine. So plant the dead, place o ' er his head: Here lies a foolish swine. Fresh — How long should a girl ' s skirt be? Soph — A little over two feet. Scheib — Why do you call your rifle, Roscoe? Grube — It ' s a smooth bore. Cox — I know you. Ethel— Who am I? Cox — Nobody. Ethel — Good heavens, I am discovered. Who were the first gamblers? Adam and Eve. How so? Didn ' t they shake a par-o-dice? Snyder — Mother gives me a penny every time I take my medicine. Zass — What do you do with the money? Snyder — I save it and when I get 75 cents mother uses it to buy a new bottle. A young man whose funds were slack was looking under the side of the big tent at the circus. A donkey came along and succeeded in kicking him into the center of the ring. How did you get in here? asked the amazed and angry ring master. I was as ' ted in here, replied the befumbled lad. Paw — Wall, I ' m glad to see that Si is doin ' suthin with his music in college. Nell— Is he? Paw- — Yes, he writes home that he ' s playing third base on the college nine. East Sider — Who won the game? Second — The surgeons haven ' t decided yet. Jew — Fritz, you owe me ten dollars. German — - Nein, Abe, nein. Jew — Veil, I ' ll make it nine diss time. Metcalf — Can the sardine box? Ross — No, but the tomato can. Boy — Gimme a penny ' s worth of mixed candies. Grocer — Here ' s two my lad. You can mix them yourself. Louis Coash says he doesn ' t like pears, we wonder why. Pete Lang — Would you call snoring sheet music? Most Things go to the buyer, but coal goes to the cellar. Olaf, working in a warehouse, backed into an elevator shaft and fell down five stories with a load of boxes. Horror stricken, the other employees rushed down stairs only to find him picking himself, unharmed, out of the I ' ubbish. Ess de boss mad? he whispered cautiously. Tal ' em Ay had to come down for nails, anyway. Cox — If you stood in my shoes, what would you do? Powers — Get a shine.

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Heard in a Girl ' s Cloakroom H. Beach — ' Dick asked me to go to the All School Party tonight. Gee, I hope he ' s sick. Teacher — Was Lancelot in knightly costume when he set out in search of the Holy Grail? Student — No ' m, he was in the clothes he wore in the day time. Miss Morgan — Flint is noted for automobiles, and when we mention Battle Creek, we think of breakfast foods. Now, what is Saginaw noted for? Class (one yell) — Moonshine! Miss Foote, telling some of her former experiences: Before I came here, I taught a class in zoology sophomore you know, and it was the first time I had ever taught reptiles. Due to our new marking system, many of our very lively students have re- ceived the following upon their report cards: Eng. History Oral Eng. Physics D E AD Miss Morgan — Who discovered tobacco in the United States? Warren Thomson — Prince Albert. Miss Morgan — What did the colonists raise on the river bottoms? Harry Gnathowske — Mostly fish. Miss Ascher — What do girls do for recreation? Curly Norton — Fix their hair. Roscoe Hefron — When girls are present, fellows refrain from swearing. Wilfred Ochsenkehl — They may not swear, but they do a devil of a lot of thinking. Bessie Close — The Senior Party will be held — Saturday, March 19. Morris Brown — Aw, I can ' t go; that ' s the night I take my annual bath. Miss Boyles — Ann, explain this passage, please: ' Sir Rodger de Coverly ' s coat was in and out six times. ' Ann Powell — It means his coat has been in the wash six times. Ruth Schoeneberg— Aw, she ' s wrong, it means his coat was turned inside out six times. Harry Gnathowski — You ' re all wrong, it means his coat was out of style and in style at six different times. Miss Boyle — Correct, my boy, correct. The school orchestra had just rendered a most pathetic selection. Mr. Steel rose and said : Just think of a nice new building where this wonderful orchestra can practice in a room where no one can hear it. Miss Sickels — Oh, I didn ' t think they were that bad. Mr. Morrison talks so much about co-operation, we wonder if he enjoys his home life. Mr. Morrison (just after diving into the Y pool) : Boy, that ' s the coldest plunge I ' ve taken in a long while. Sy Perkins — What ' s the matter, did your wife leave you? Roy — What is a delicate woman? Ila — One that catches cold every time she tears her hair net. Toots Bluem received a severe scolding when the following note was found by his mother: Her hands were cold. As cold as ice. Did I hold them? No! She sat on them. Miss Kilbourne — Warren, give a sentence with indigo in it. (Lapse of three minutes) — The baby, (pause) was in de go cart. Hay — No lie has ever passed my lips. Davis — No, you talk through your nose. Curly — What is a ground hog? Marq — A frankfurter.

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Traveler — The sea makes me so sad. Old Salt— Why so? Traveler — I hate to see the foam running over the bar. A colored servant went to his old home to teach his brother manners. His brother at the table, one day, said to him. Gimme some ' lasses, Sam. You mustn ' t say ' lasses, corrected Sam. You must say molasses. What is you talkin ' about? grunted his brother. How ' s I gwine to say mo ' ' lasses when I ain ' t had none yet? Two actors were boasting about their dramatic exploits. Aha, my boy, said one, when I played Hamlet the audience took fifteen minutes to leave the theater. The other looked at him. Was he lame? he inquired gently. Rudolph was always making breaks. So it was at a dinner party his neighbor, a lady, said to him : I believe that men ' s clothes should match their hair. That may be, bungled he, but suppose a man is bald. Catherine — When I sing the tears come into my eyes. What can I do for this? Kid — Stuff cotton in your ears. Joe — Dad, why do you keep humming that air? Dad — Because it haunts me so. Joe — No wonder you are murdering it. George N. — She dropped her eyes — George A. — That must have been when her face fell. Mack — Hazel Beach, answer the question. H. B. — I don ' t know. Mack — It ' s no wonder, you ' re spending too much time on your lips. Leota — When I get a car, I want one which will suit me. Edward — Then, my dear, you had better get a run about. Just So Man ' s hair turns gray before womans, That ' s known in every clime, The explanation ' s easy, for he wears his all the time. Miss Appleby says her new dress falls a little below her expectations. We notice they are making them short this year. Miss Morgan — Is there any question about today ' s lesson? Eynon — Where is it? John Herzog — I don ' t like these photographs at all. I look like an ape. Mrs. Blackwell, (favoring him with a look of lofty disdain) — You should have thought of that before you had them taken. Slander Council — Was the prisoner sober? Witness — No sir. He was drunk as a judge. The Judge — You mean as drunk as a lord. Witness — Yes, my lord. E. J. — What is the most nervous thing, next to a girl? R. Swarthout — Me, next to a girl. Three men on base and Joe at bat, said Henry. Here ' s where we make the squeeze. Oh, Henry, dear, said Olive, don ' t do it here. It ' s so public, please. Mrs. Chicken — I am all tired out! I would go home for a visit with my mother but they tell me she was an incubator. Tanner — Why is a policeman like a rainbow? Fay: Because he never turns up until after the storm. American — Over in America we have lilac bushes 50 feet high. Frenchman — I wish I could lilac that! Irish Doctor — Well, I ' ve knocked the fayver out of him anyhow. Wife — Oh, doctor, do you think there is any hope? Doctor — Small chance, I ' m afraid, madam; but you ' ll have the satisfaction of knowing he died cured.