West Side High School - Legenda Yearbook (Saginaw, MI)

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Railroads are built on three guages now. Broad gauge, narrow gauge, mortgage. The best place for mothers to go with marriagable daughters is to Sulpher Springs, because they are good places for match- making. Mr. A. went into a hotel the other evening and bet fifty thou- sand dollars he could tell who would be the next president of the United States. Did any one take him up? Yes, the elevator boy took him up. Never play euchre with a one-arm man, for he always holds the lone hand. When a man can walk in a gin shop and swallow ten cock (tails in ten minutes, he may be said to have obtained prominence at the bar. d ' ve got a dreadful cold; I went into a saloon where they had beer on draught. I stood in the draught all the time. Clarence R. said to Marguerite S. : I think your hair is dyed. Tis false, said she. Clarence: I guess you ' re right. Teacher: Physics Class: What is steam? Dan Horgan (waking suddenlv) : Water crazv with the heat, Mr. A. : What noise was that I heard last night ? Next room to mine? Mr. B. : That was me falling asleep. Judge: First time? Prisoner: No, sir, the last time. Fine day judge. Judge: Yes, ten dollars fine. Prisoner: You will allow me some time to pay it in? Judge: Yes, ten days. If there is anything I hate, it is profanity: still, animals use it : look at the beaver, he is continually damming the creek. Wife: The dog has not had any fleas today. Hubby: I knew it. I must have taken them all with me. Mr. A.: Who is that I saw you leading home last night; any r el a t ion ? Mr. B. : Yes, a full cousin. Have you ever seen a mermaid? No. But I have seen a fish woman.

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EFFECT OF ONE TERM IN COLLEGE. When Mr. Stark leaves for college, he will take leave of his mother in this manner : Mother, I will write often and think of you constantly. When he returns, two years later, he will remark to the anxious parents : Deah mothaw, I greet you once moah! Imagine the feelings of a fond mother. HORSTILITY. A pedagogue told one of his scholars, a son of the Emerald Isle, to spell hostility. H-o-r-s-c, horse, began Pat. Not horse tiiity, said the teacher, but hostility. Sure, replied Pat, an ' didn ' t ye tell me the other day not to say hoss? Be jabbers, it ' s one thing wid ye one day and another the nixt. NEVER GET EXCITED. Boys, said a good old clergyman to the boys in the Bible Class, you should never lose your tempers. You should never swear or get angry or excited. T never do. Now to illustrate, you all see that little flv on mv nose. A good many wicked men would i get angry at that flv but T don ' t. I never lose my temper. I simply say: ' Go way. flv — go away — ' confound it, it ' s a wasp! MOSQUITO WITH A LANTERN. Two Irishmen had been fighting: the mosnuitoes in a New York tenement house. About two o ' clock they finally got to sleep. While in a half-doze a lifrhtttin bug came flviug into the rn w Jamie, Jamie, it ' s no use exclaimed Pat. Here ' s o p of the creatures sarchin ' for us wid a lantern! PRACTICE VS. THEORETICAL KNOWLEDGE. A college professor was being rowed across a stream in a boat. Said he to the boatman : Do you understand philosophy? No, never heard of it. Then one-quarter of yonr life is gone. Do you understand •geology? No. Then one-half of your life is gone. Do you understand as- tronomv? No. Then three-quarters of vour life is gone. But presently the boat tipped over and spilled both into the river. Says the boatman : Can you swim? No. Then the whole of your life is gone. ,An Irishman once ordered a painter to draw his picture and fo represent him standing behind a tree.

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Valley Phone 3326 VLASSIS BROS., Propr ' s. Saginaw Candy Company 411 Court Street West Side FOR HER— Whether she be your wife-to-be or your wife already, she will know that you love her if you present her a box of OUR CHOCOLATES. OUR SODA— Its popular because of its quality. The best flavors, the best fountain and popular prices. Just Right Candies Dr. H. E. McPhillips We tickle all sorts of tastes with our Candies. Prices from 10c up. DENTIST We also carry a nice assortment of Lowney and Johnston Choco- Valley Phone 3468-L lates in boxes from 10c to $2 a box 410 Court Street Richter ' s Drug Store SAGINAW, W. S., MICH. FACTS IN THE CASE Professor — What constitutes burglary? Law Student — There must be a breaking. Professor — Then if a thief entered the open door of your room while you were asleep and extracted five dollars from your pocket you would not call it burglary, eh? Law Student — Yes, sir: that would break me. — Chicago News. Albert 0. Richter FURNISHINGS AND SHOES A SPECIALTY Suits and Oxercoats Made to Measure 1217 Court Street Auto Fenders, Hoods, Lamps, Radiators, Etc. ENAMELED Auto and Motorcycles, Stoves, Etc. NICKEL PLATED SMITH PLATING WORKS ENAMELING Nii ' licl. ( ' opper and Brana 1 1 nf i 11 Polishing and Lacquering) largest job plating and enameling works in michigan outside of detroit factory work a specialty Valley Phone 2817-L Bell Phone 3223-W 600 GRATIOT AVE. SAGINAW, W. S., MICH. WILLIAMS ' ICE CREAM West Side