West Seattle High School - Kimtah Yearbook (Seattle, WA)

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XIII Edward Colcock, Miss Virena O'Keefe's office boy, was haled before the juvenile court for putting liquid glue in his employer's chair. ' ' XIV Never again will bandmaster Miller Owen conduct a band where red trousers form part of the uniform. Last spring his band, so attired, played at the North- west Cattle Show. While strolling through the grounds Owen came face to face with dairyman Don MacNaught's prize bull. Mr. Owen was in the hospital for three months. XV James Thomas is engaged in training parrots to talk. The price of a bird varies wizth the picturesqueness of its vocabulary. XVI An ingenious dentist, May Petrie, has perfected a device for introducing a small amount of dynamite into a defective tooth and blasting out the cavity. How- ever, Lawton Dickenson, the South American Mining engineer on whom Dr. Petrie experimented, wasn't particularly enthusiastic over it. XVII Professor Norah Zeiher, the noted mathematician, whose advice If you haven't a quadrant or a sextant, use the hydrant has become a byword among navigators, broken down by her strenuous labors died yesterday of the delirium triangles. XVIII . Professor Lyle Blagg of Sheflield Scientific School, Yale, last Saturday had himself shot in the direction of Mars in the new electrically driven rocket which he invented. Professor Arthur Clark, director of Lick Observatory, who watchedthe flight reported that Blagg lit in the principal canal, and greatly obstructed the traffic until the Martians got a derrick and hoisted him out. fThis must have been a mistake for according to a Mercury of the day the professor hit the Methodist Church steeple, with dire results to the congregation's nerves.J-M. D. Mercury. XIX A dry world is pouring forth its blessings on Vivian Belford, the botanist, for her discovery of the remarkable aquae vitae' alcoltolis or uhighballu plant, the brew from whose leaves can be indulged in without offending Mr, Volstead. XX President Mahnken of the Northern Pacihc Railways has just issued his auto- biography for the inspiration of young America. It is entitled 'fCarl Mahnken, A Self-Made Man fwith the assistance of his wifel. XXI Professor Mildred Keeling, sent into the interior of Thibet hy the the anthro- pological bureau of the Smithsonian Institute, claims that she found the missing link, but for lack of proper tools failed to solder it on. XXII WANTEDwMen for whaling voyageg able seamen, ordinary seamen and green hands. No experience necessary. Big money for a lucky voyage. Apply at the XXIII Mayor Margaret Ayton and a few of the officials held a poker party at the city hall after office hours yesterday. In the midst of the party a keg of home brew exploded, injuring among others Leona Niles, County Clerk, Dr. Kathryn Kelly, County Coronerg and Bernice Humphrey, Chief of the udry squad. office of Captain Ruby Sayre. XXIV Dr. Albert Olsen is evading the police. He gave a measles patient 4'Rough on Ratsv by mistake. XXV A big shark was sighted off the coast of Zanzibar this morning at two bells by the Deep Sea Scavengersw, Beatrice Miller and Ethel Lee. They are hot on his trail with paris green and hope to bag him before sundown. XXVI Armed with a forty year school-teaching experience Helen Russel has gone to China to help uncivilize the heathen. Puge Twenty

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Qllaaa ljrnphrrg g The Martian Daily Mercury Canalonia, Mars, June 21, 5096 A most interesting scrap of parchment was found by Professor Dumkoft in some ruins on the planet eanh recently. It is evidently the work of some students, but what their aims in writing it were cannot be determined. In places they seem to be attempting by some unknown processes of science to foretell the fate of some of their number. Other parts seem to be taken from some chronicle of the day. At times something like an attempt at wit appears: The character of the writing and a date which appears to be 1922 certainly place the work in the latter half of the Dumb Ages. Believing that this fragmentary document'may appeal to our readers we are presenting a few specimens of the work.I Leland Harris, the radio man, has succeeded in getting in touch with the moon by means of, his new apparatus. A radiophone concert was given last eve- ning, the Lunarious listening to the entrancingl strains of Irene Urquhart's Ten Days in the Chemistry. Labf' sung very feelingly by Lucille Osterberg, the famous soprano. CA copy of the Morning,Lunatic of that date informs us that the concert was abominable--M. D. MeHury.J K Beth Kuntz, census taker, is slowly recovering from the savage attack made on her by Mahelle Eaton, the old maid, when questioned as to her age. III Willis Ames has Outflivvered Henry Ford in the line of the Universal Car , for his new Chinook is equipped with everything from a rattle to a cuckoo clock. IV Helen Artz is in jail on a charge of committing landscape with murderous intent. V , ' President Findlay Smith of the Boeing Airplane Company has established a testing field at Three Tree Point to the terror of the community. VI Gladys Edgerly, whose home adjoins the Boeing Airplane Company's new testing field, is suing Alice Bosse, one of the company's aviators. While working on a plane in the air, Alice dropped a monkey wrench on the family cat. VII . No word has been received from Helen Graham, missionary in the Soudan, for some time. A report states that the Soudanese recently held a great national feast. VIII The New York Manhattan,' is featuring Louis Stull's famous drama, KA Midwinter's Snooze , in which the renowned and revered tragedian Harlow Stengel portrays very forcefully the part of Overonsky, the King of the Fairies . IX The worst is feared. Among those lined up before Police Judge Lillian Bloomfield this morning was Roma Angello, mathematics teacher, who went angling on Sunday. She was given the limit of the law. X Gertrude Clark and Mabel Stubb, street musicians, made a mistake when they gave a performance in front of the home of Ina Burgess, operatic soprano. It was too much for Ina's temperament, and she turned the hose on them. XI Sophie Bergstrom is in the hospital. She dislocated her neck while watching Katerine Sloanfs five ring aerial circus. XII It is with the deepest regret that we announce the death of Miss Lorna White, the noted composer. Since the completion of her famous '6Aftermath of a Physics Examf, Miss White has been in the state of mental collapse, and yesterday suc- cumiber to advanced rarefaction of the brain. Page Nineleen

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. XXVII , , . Mlle. Francis Bundie, Russian danseuse, has recently returned from the Figil lslands where she learned the improved interpretation of their dance, the 'Tancake ' XXVII . U. .lean Kaxntner, the soulful baritone, will thrill his audience with the pro- logue to 6'Pagliacci at the Metropolitan Opera House this week. The house is sold out already, .lean's family being very much in prominence. They have reserved XXIX Bert Watson's new '4Hot Dogi' establishment became ignited last night, and before assistance arrived, the doggies had passed away in the fiames. Poor Bert is consumed with grief and is planning an elaborate funeral. ' XXX Miss Frances Pratt is now running the elevator to Heaven in cooperation with Victor Peterson, St. Peter's grandson, the new gate keeper. Miss Pratt insists that anyone wishing to make an intermediate stop make known their intentions to her so she will not have such a load to carry back. XXXI Miss Carolyn Burgess, instructor in Latin at the local high school, is endeavor- ing to impress upon her pupils that it was Gaul and not Julius Caesar that was divided into three parts. . XXXII I , Ellen Heroux, the New York sculpor, has presented Luna Park with her new XXXIII Chief of Police Delores Amondsen recently rounded up some agitators for men's rights who were picketing the city hall. Among them were Henry Potter and William Melvin. - XXXIV Ralph Gailey, the lightweight champion, is recovering from his last fight. He was hit in the solar perplexity. Flop. the whole front section. statue The Blinker . XXXV The Reverend Gladys Roll is conducting a vigorous war on gum chewing and pop drinking. XXXVI Detective Chief William Markey believes that after many years he is at last on the trail of Kimball Myers who decamped with the Class funds in 1922. XXXVII A rumor of ghosts at Turner's Creek sent the eminent psychologists, Professors Gordon, Keeling and Davidek, post haste to the spot. They spent the night in a haunted house. About midnight Professor Gordon swears that a ghost nearly seven feet high stalked up to his bed and grabbed him by the ear. Dr. Keeling in- sists, however, that it was only Davidek who was walking in his sleep. The mystery XXXVIII Dorothy Lee, the super-futurist painter, showed us a picture which represents a summer sunrise, but which we mistook for an exploding firecracker. XXXIX Lillian Duggan, who married the king of Bingembangia in Africa, is reported to have led the recent raid on the British garrison where she personally scalped the commandant. remains unsolved. XL The Crab's Retreat Seminary on Vashon Island is offering several special Courses this year. Miss Bess Humphrey will teach French Millineryg Miss Gudren Eide is conducting a class in Etiquette for the Young Debutanteng and Barbara Hare is personally instructing the girls in Archery and Riding. It is probable that the famous danseuse, Mlle. Barbara Cady, will offer aesthetic dancing. The semin- ary is one of the most attractive of its kind in the west. . XLI Roberta Bellazzi, our famous novelist, has just published one of the best sellers of the season, '6The Romance of Jake Heintz , or What Happened to the Page Twenty-one