West Salem High School - Neshonoc Yearbook (West Salem, WI)

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SIGNS OF THE TIMES HUMOR In a La Crosse restaurant: Please don't insult our waiters. Customers we can get. We have plenty of coffee. 5c first cup; $1.00 second cup. In a barber shop in a Boom town: Come in and we will give you an estimate on your haircut. Under a flag: These colors don't run. GERMAN ARITHMETIC 1 German—10 uncultured foreigners. 2 soldiers—10 civilians. 3 officers—12 privates. 4 treaties—8 scraps of paper. 5 poisoned wells—1 strategic retreat. 6 iron crosses—1 ruined cathedral. 7 zeppelin raids—7 demonstrations of frightfulness. 8 eggs—8 hearty meals (common people). 9 eggs—1 appetizer (aristocracy). 10 deported Belgians—10 unmarked graves. 11 torpedoed neutrals—11 disavowals. LOCAL (LOCO) MORONS Tootsie took two quarters to bed with her so she would have sleeping quarters. Todd took cream and sugar to the show. He thought it was a serial. Dave took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept. Smitty took a bale of hay to bed so he could feed his nightmare. Clarice stood on the corner with bread and butter in her hand waiting for the traffic jam. Verda put bread crumbs in her shoes to feed her pigeon toes. Kato took a hammer to bed to hit the hay. Evelyn thought Rudy Vallee was a place between two hills. Wilbur went on the roof because he thought the drinks were on the house. Mr. Glasrud: If I stood on my head, the blood would rush to it and make my face red. Why doesn't the blood rush to my feet when I'm standing up? Stooge: 'Cause your feet ain't empty. ONLY ONE THING FOR HIM Lorenzo stood gazing longingly at the nice things displayed in a haberdasher's window for a marked-down sale. A friend stopped to inquire if he was thinking of buying shirts or pajamas. Gosh, no, replied Lorenzo, the only thing that fits me ready-made is a handkerchief. WHY NOT? Bruce giggled when Mr. Glasrud read the story of a man who swam across the Tiber three times before breakfast. Mr. Glasrud: You don't doubt that a trained swimmer could do that, do you? Bruce: No, sir, but I wonder why he didn't make it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were. 4-F First Draftee: What did the little dog say when he ran through the fire? Second Draftee: I dunno. What? First Draftee: He said, 'Wheel I've just been defurred'. PROMOTION Mr. Knudtson: Have you heard from your brother in the army recently? Bruce: Oh, yes. He's been promoted for striking that unpleasant sergeant. He's going to be a court-martial! Betty Hetland: Mother, may I go swimming? Mrs. Hetland: No, dear, the water's too deep. Betty: But, mother. Tootsie is in the water. Mrs. Hetland: Yes, but Tootsie is insured. Page twenty-six

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Last night I held a litle hand. So dainty and so sweet; I thought my heart would surely break So wildly it did beat. No other hand in all the world Can greater solace bring; Than the sweet hand I held the other night, Four aces and a king. —Vernon Friell. God moves in mysterious ways But the army has bent His will, To prove my point we'll take the case Of Pvt. Wilbur (Bill). Bill joined up with his Uncle Sam. 'Twas just a year ago They sent him straight to Scott field To studio radio. He started school with Pvt. Friell, An egocentric lout; But just two weeks thereafter Poor Pvt. Friell washed out. Bill learned his code and theory, too. When marching looked so real; So help him God, he'd not flunk out, Like poor Pfc. Friell. Four months have passed in this sad tale, He never does get razzed; He knows now that he will not fail Like poor Corp. Frazze. Now Pvt. Bill is out of school. He's learned it all now really. He's thankful that he made the grade Unlike poor Sergt. Frielly. Pvt. Bill now pounds a key. In the land where all is burnin'; While in St. Louis at the USO, Sits poor Staff Sergt. Vernon. Sophomore Boy: What's that gurgling noise I hear? Senior Girl: That's me, trying to swallow your line. RATION William L. Shirer, the news commentator and author of Berlin Diary, was in a grocery store at the Connecticut village where he lives, and heard a woman ask the clerk for a can of dog food. The clerk told her that there was none in stock because of the government order prohibiting the canning of dog food. The woman was loud in her complaint. Look, lady, Shirer told her, here in America we've stopped canning dog meat because we're almost out of tin. But in Germany they stopped because they're all out of dogs. Mary: What's wrong with a man asking you if you can dance? Clarice: I was dancing with him when he asked me. Friell to Mr. Glasrud: If they take you in the army. I'm going to sell my bonds. The Seniors were talking about their pictures when yours truly overhead: Mary Ellen: Isn't that a terrible picture of me? I look just like a monkey. Bud: You should have thought about that before you had it taken. Colleen: Cal, is everything shut up for the night? Cal: That all depends on you, dear. Everyhing else is. Page twenty-five

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The Senior Class Will The Senior Class will hereby pass on to the succeeding generation of bookworms the following valuable traits which have helped them to struggle, through many dreary days: Mary Wolter leaves her stale gum to Jack Cain. Joyce Wilcox is leaving her surplus height to Joyce Knudson. Wilbur Selbrede is leaving his good looks to Norman Eickhoff. Kenneth Sprain presents his terrific speed to Bob Twining. Evelyn Wege presents her cute little smile to Beverly Sprain. Mary Ellen Hetland leaves her vim, vigor, and vitality to Colleen Flaig. Vernon Friell regretfully is giving his cigarettes to Milo Lee. Bud Knudson wills his crackpot disposition to Calvin Flaig. James Stull presents his mechanical ability to Robert McClintock. Darol Rodenberg wills his bashfulness to Todd McEldowney. Bruce Carlson will give up his technique to Walter Olson. Harry Albers will sign his brilliant mind to Donald Malzacher. Lorenzo Hicks wills his sailor skip to Everett Olson. Marlin Modes is leaving his mathematical ability to Freeman Newberg. Clarice Carlson wills her ability to flirt to Mary Ann Cook. Edward Huxsahl bequeaths his classroom recitation to Lester Graff. Verda Horstman wills her powder box to Vivian Udell. Lois Loging leaves her ability to supervise to Marion Wehrenberg. Dave Syvertson will permit his towering height to be absorbed by Delvin Garbers. Henry Hoppman solemnly gives up his means of transportation to and from school to Richard Miller. Blanche Stalsberg wills her blonde hair to Betty Grable. Leo Bouska will leave his curls to Donald Groth. Shirley Achterkirch leaves her ability to concentrate to James Bergum. The entire senior class hereby join together once more to bequeath Miss Richardson their empty Math notebooks to be refilled by our successors. So Long and Good Luck. Page twenty-seven