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The Weak Stronger Sex As I weaved my way homeward through the thick traffic, I wondered a trifle uneasily what my wife would say when she found that I had brought a friend from the office home for supper. I didn't see any reason why she should object, but you know how women are. I was prepared for anything. I drove the car into the garage and started walking up the sidewalk with my friend when suddently I remembered something.My wife was at a club meeting, and wouldn't be home for several hours. Jumping Jehosaphat'. Not that I thought my friend wouldn't understand; for he was a good sport; but we were hungry. I broke the news to him. He took the dreadful news like a man. We held a short business meeting, and decided to prepare our own meals. We had often seen the weaker sex prepare meals, and if they could do it so easily,so could we.In looking about the pantry I spied some eggs,and we forthwith decided on an omelet. I sought the cook book while he hunted up the skillet. After several minutes, we both reported success. You read the recipe to me, Bob, and I'll follow your instructions implicitly. The recipe called for 2 eggs and as I was plenty hungry I suggested we make several omelets. Bob read the recipe. Separate the eggs. I put one egg on one end of the table and one on the other. OK , I said, Go on. Bob informed me that this meant to separate the shell from the insides. Well, that was easy. We threw the eggs into the bowl, and then picked out the resultant pieces of shell. Now fold them several times. How the dickens can you fold anything as thin as the insides of an egg? I tried it, but it wouldn't fold, and I only got the slippery gue all over my hands. Bob tried it v ith no greater success. Bake in moderate oven, our oven surely was better than moderate, we paid 75 bucks for it,--in fact, it was the best to be had; we used it anyway. I set the skillet into the oven, and together we managed to light the stove. After a half hour I pulled it out, and the eggs were burned to a crisp. The reason probably was the lack of grease in the pan. I dumped this into the garbage can,and we decided on boiled eggs. Anybody could boil eggs! We put several eggs in water and put them over a fire. We waited about twenty minutes so acetylene torch to cut those eggs. These eggs followed the rest into the garbage can. By this time we knew we weren't cut out to be cooks, and we decided to quit. In about twenty minutes we were both sitting on stools in Joe's Sandwich Shop, eating pancakes. That Explains It! I was about to open the door when I heard peculiar words inside; What 'dye' think ye are? Git down.’ There was silence for a few seconds. Then the angry voice again spike; Lie down, you fool! D'yd' want me to hit ya? Down! Where dya' think your're goin'? Do I have to tie you down? In about two Jerks I'm gonna' pat ya' with this rake. It seemed to me as if this had gone far enough; so I threw open the door, to see-------my cousin combing his hair. -2e-
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