West Salem High School - Neshonoc Yearbook (West Salem, WI)

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ITlMnniHMUMMimMMMMMmnuMMuimummMinnMMm'MMmHnHmMHMunHM'mtmMiHmmMMMiMm'Mim'mM'MM'MmM1 FREE EXPRESSION HUMOR Ml I MIIIIIIIIM II »• M ll•lllll••llllllllll•lll•l•lmlM MMMIIMIIMMMMMMMMIIMMIMMMMMMMMMIIMMM LOVE VERSE A comfortable boat lost at sea, No one aboard but you and me—wheel Thirty-five Sophomores or nearly six rows, Tweed asks a question nobody knows. “Did you study your lesson?” asks Mr. Tweed, “This class is below standard or new glasses T need.” Archie Sehomberg ■ o I shot a paper wad into the air. It hit someone I know not where. When report cards show a scarlet letter, We tell dad it’s good, but he knows better. —o— Keith: I like your tie Bernie. I bet I know where you got it. Bernie: Do you? Where? Keith: Around your neck. —o— Jim: Faint heart never won fair lady. Ray: Well, who wants a blonde anyway? Mr. Rowe: What are you scratching your head for? Bernie K.: I’m trying to get an inspiration. Mr. Rowe: Oh, is that a new name for them ? —o— (Sober old maid in Kokkeby’s store) 1 would like to get some bird seed, please. Ken Hanson: No, you don’t lady. You can’t string me. Birds come from eggs, not seeds. —o— Louise (showing father new fur coat): This coat is a honey, but I can't help feeling sorry for the poor thing that was skinned for this. Father: 1 appreciate your sympathy. Mary C: What do you do with your clothes when you wear them out ? Louise: Wear them home again, naturally. Stanley 0: Do you make life-size enlargements from snapshots? Photographer: That’s our specialty. Stanley: Fine. Here’s a picture 1 took of the Grand Canyon. —o— Station Agent: Hey don’t strike that match there; that tank is full of gas! Sid S: Think nothing of it; this is a safely match. Roy H: Why don’t you like girls? Bud: Aw, they’re too biased. Roy: How is that? Bud: Yeh, whenever I go out with ’em, its bias this and bias that until I am broke. Margaret McEldownev (defending her Sparta guy): Say if you had his brains you would have something to holler abort. Wilbert L: I’ll say so. If the Lord cheated me like he did him. I would holler. Viola S: Do you like Kipling? Eunice: I dunno. How do you kipple? Miss Lound (In English class': What was the name of King Arthur’s sword ? Joe Spacek: Excelsior. Louise W: Say, it’s past midnight. Do you suppose you can stay here all night ? Ray: Gosh, I’ll have to telephone mother first. M s Richardson: Who originated the first geometrical proposition ? Willis Sherman: Noah. Miss R: How is that? Willis: He constructed an arc. Teacher: When I sav “I was handsome”, I am using the past tense; when I say “I shall be handsome”, I am using the future tense. Now Ardice tell me what tense 1 am using when I say, “I am handsome.” Ardice Sehomberg: Pretense. Jim W: What would you do if you found a horse in your bathtub? Leonard A: Search me. Jim: Pull out the plug. Boy: Do you know the difference between a taxi and a trolley ? Girl: No. Boy Then we’ll take the trolley. Mrs. Miller: Eat your spinach, dear. Carlet Miller: Aw, ma, I don’t like spinach. Mrs. Miller: Just make believe you like it. Carlet: I’d rather make believe I’m eatin’ it. Roscoe Young: Your method of cultivating your crops is old-fashioned. I’d be surprised if you get more than ten pounds of apples oIT that tree. Rex Dunlap. So would I. It’s a pear tree. Poly: Well, I knocked ’em cold in geometry, all right. Roy Havens: What did you get? Poly: Zero. Stranger: Is your mother at home? Robert Mau: Of course! Do you suppose I’m mowing this lawn because the grass is long? Joe Spacek: I used to snore so loud that I’d wake myself up, but I’ve cured myself. Emil A: How? Joe: I sleep in the next room now. Raymond D: W'hich would you ra'her be. a postage stamp or a boy? Maynard D: I think I’d rather be a stamp because it can be licked only Katherine Jackson: Why do Indians wear fur caps? Ruth Olson: To keep their wig-wam. Marlon S: Last night I woke up all of a sudden, and I thought my wrist watch was gone. Milton S: Was it? Marlon S: No, but it was going. Mr. Tweed: What is the easiest way to keep water out of a house ? Joe Green: Don’t pay the water bill. A Junior: Excuse me, Gerald, I had quite forgotten about giving you a bid to the prom. I’m so absent-minded, don’t you know. Gerald: Yes, I have noticed the absence of mind. Roland L. (visiting asylum): How Ion'? have you been insane? Inmate: Ever since the people on the outside found out 1 knew they were crazy. Harold Hanson: In which zone are the United States of America. Kenneth S: In the temperance zone. Mr. Miller: What does “60 on your report card mean, Willis? Willis M: Oh-er-that must have been the temperature in the room where I took the test. Guide: And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a skyscraper. Ruth Schwartz: Oh, when can we see it work ? Miss Gay: Who was the greatest actor of antiquity ? Richy G: Samson. He brought down the house.

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FREE EXPRESSION HUMOR 0 0' SPRING FEVER I must down to my books again, To my lonely books, and dry, And all I ask is a stick of gum, And a voice with which to sigh. Mary C. A boy came strutting down the aisle, His hopes for marks were soaring, When accidentally a well placed foot Set the assembly roaring. Albert L. Off to Ag. class we do go To learn of things we do not know, And into our chairs we do relax To watch Mr. Rowe play with grafting wax. Lyle Vogel 1 found a fat box elder bug, Crawling along the floor. I decided to take it with me, Until I collected some more. Dorothy II. Geometry with circles and angles, To me will always be Getting itself into tangles And leaving the solution to me. Alberta M. Three senior girls on pleasure bent Vamped a trio and were content To linger just two blocks away And let the teachers fret that day. The seventh of September, first day of school. Rid Salem homes of many a fool. With heads a-droop like rained-on fowl, We all did enter, each with a scowl. In serving hot lunches, the freshies are keen, The dishes and sinks are always left clean. “Who ate those crackers , inquired Miss Peck. No one answers; who cares to get heck? Ruth Olson When teachers say with scornful looks, “We must go faster to finish our books”, Then I wish that summer would come With glorious vacation and lots of fun. Willis Sherman The names jotted down by Prof, and Rowe Are not as numerous as some may know, But Tweed, with his glasses, fools many a kid And very effectively puts on the lid. ENGLISH III When I think of English Class, I greatly fear that I won’t pass. When the teacher askes me a question 1 get an attack of indigestion. Does she assign long lessons? Plenty! From sixty-six to one hundred twenty On top of that, Miss Alice Lound Makes us learn passages of “Snowbound.” Life is Real! Life is Earnest! But the guy that gets ahead Is the one that studies English When he ought to be in bed. Bernie Kruger There are many students of Salem high Who study enough to just get by, But there are others who work quite hard And think of nothing but a good report card. Dougald Blackburn PROM NIGHT LAMENT I bought a swell suit; I bought a keen lid; I dated a girl, But got no bid! I took back the suit; Got cash for the lid; Give girlie the air, For I got no bid. Richmond G. Junior Answer To Frcshie Lament Maybe we should have changed our plans Before the night did come, And allowed the Freshies at our Prom So they could chew their gum. Robert McDonald WHEN C LASSES COME Listen my children and you shall hear The buzzer ring when the time is near; For classes to pass, for students to go From classrooms to an assembly row. And then the shuttle of moving feet, Comes to your ears, Ah! how sweet, Then all arc quiet and watchful once more, Waiting for the buzzer to ring as before. Ken H. “ROWE” Of all the men 1 ever met, This one is in a hurry, You see him evervwhere you go He’s always got to scurrv. No matter what he has to do He’s always up and coming, Rowe’s got pep and sr.up enough, To keep the whole world humming. Leonard A. WANTED 1. Any number of private secretaries and a good adding machine.—Richmond Griswold. 2. An automobile. Will trade my Ford for one.—Wilbur L. 3. More volume, better harmony and a little appreciation.—Boys Glee Club. 4. A section of the magazine rods devoted to Wild West and Movie magazines.—Joe Green and Margaret McEldowney. 5. Candy sacks that do not produce telltale crumpling noises when contents are removed.—Candy Eaters. 6. A nation-wide search for undiscovered vaudeville stars.—Nlesen Heel Clickers. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF— Bud Blackburn had no more hair lubrication. I eonard Atwater h ad to walk. Elmer Mau swapped characters with his brother. Louise Wakefield was put in a straight jacket. Margaret McEldownev got lockiaw. Wilbui4 Labus was big enough to pick on. Thermostats were fool-proof. Students knew enough to contradict Miss Lound. And excuse blanks had to tell t he truth. —o— SOCIAL HOUR Some slide, Some prance. While talking twaddle; Some glide, Some dance, Some merely waddle. G odly R everent A ctive D etermined U seful A ccurate T houghtful E xquisite —o— FAREWELL School pals, farewell. School days are through, The time has come to bid adieu. My pals, farewell. This grand old building 1 once did hate, I’ve learned to love; to appreciate. My school, farewell. My teachers, too, 1 now adore, They’re not the tyrants they seemed before. My teachers, farewell. But most of all, those mixer nights, Those petty quarrels, my loves, my fights. Oh, youth, farewell.

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0 '...................... mu.....................• .... .....................................................................[i| OVERFLOW and JOKES FORENSICS (Continued from page 20) of the Sparta High School teachers were secured as judges, and their decisions were as follows: oratory, Richmond Griswold 1st and Melvin Olson 2nd; declamatory, Alice Griswold 1st and Lillian Jones 2nd; extemporaneous reading, Florence Clements 1st and Arline Cassel 2nd. The winners represented West Salem in the Coulee Conference Contest which was held at Bangor on April 26th. Bangor, with eleven points to her credit, won the championship cup. While West Salem was the nearest rival with nine points. Alice Griswold was the only one to win a banner for West Salem with her declamation “Keeping a Seat at the Benefit.” Richmond Griswold, who spoke “Theodore Roosevelt” was awarded 2nd place in oratory. Florence Clements, reading “Lincoln, the Man of the People” won 4th place in that event. As winners of first and second places in the oratorical and declamatory events at the Coulee Conference were given the privilege to speak at the district contest held at La Crosse, West Salem was represented bv Richmond Griswold and Alice Griswold. The La Crosse District includes some forty odd high schools, and, as each of the various leagues sent two contestants. it was necessary to have elimination congests during the day to determine which speakers should aonear on the evening program. Richmond, being awarded first place in the preliminary contest of his grouo, spoke in the final contest. Although our contestants did not win any of the high r'aces in the district. contest, we feel that onr school made an excellent showing in forensics this year. We have high hopes that another year mav bring the conference cup to West Salem. JUNIOR CLASS PROPHECY (Continued from page 11) Of course we went to the circus; The side shows were a sight! But David attracted the most attention As the fat man in a fight! At West Point we also stopped To watch the cadets at their drill, (Maybe we weren’t surprised to see Malvin!) He was dressed up “fit to kill”. Elaine N . joined up with the follies, And she surely has made a hit While she’s worked her way to the top Charmingly, and bit by bit. We didn’t see Charles, but we’ve heard of him For he’s the “Paderewski” of the day. He’s giving concerts all over the country, And oh, how he can play! We saw Helen in Chicago And where do you suppose she was? In her own beauty shoppe A curling and combing fuzz. Away off in Los Angeles In a well-known library Was a girl of familiar countenance, We all remember her as “JefTy”. In Pasedena, Audrey and June we met As we were walking down the street, They said they were not married yet And didn’t intend to be! Audrey was teaching music school, And June was helping her. W’e knew they’d make a success in life As brilliant they always were. To Chicago we came and again did stop Where Purnie and Ann we met. Thev told us of their lingerie shop On Fourth and Nicollete. From there we visited a hospital Of great farre and renown. And here we met a surgeon Robed in a sterile gown. This surgeon was Willis S. Assisting him we were surprised to see, A familiar person clad in white Who should it be but our Marie B! We entered the Wrigley Building Which was gumming up so fast. W’e interviewed the manager— None other than Goodwin Hass. His secretary 1 soon met With whom I went to tea. Her classmates she remembered yet, Our dear friend Vera E. Next we went abroad the steamer, The waves Were dashing high But our fears were soon squelched When we heard that Cap’n. Joseph was nigh. One night in New York we went to the movies. Where a fat boy ushered us up in the balcony! We hardly recognized Anker For he had grown as fat as a bolony! Upon the stage stood “Chattarand” The world wide famous magician Garbed in black and waving his arms ft was Ken! He really had quite a position. Thus the story endeth, And we hope you’ve not been bored While reading this tale of adventure; Rather we hope that with you we have scored. Vera Erickson Elaine Jeffers Jim: Who’s Andy Gump? Poly: Don’t you ever read “Who’s Who in America?” —o— Bob: Lois, dear, anything you say goes. Lois: Bob. —o— Mr. Rowe (to country boy): How can you afford to sell your melons at ten cents apiece? Are they windfalls? DISTRICT TRACK MEET On Saturday May 14, our track team went to La Crosse to participate in the District track meet. We were in Class C along with Galesville, Blair, La Farge, Viola, Ontario, Ca.f h-ton, Holmen, Onalaska and Bangor. Galesville won with 25 points. Viola was second with 19 U, Blair had 17, La Farge 16, West Salem 12%, Bangor 5, Onalaska 3Vi, Holmen 3, Cash-ton Vi, and Ontario 0. Earl Havens won the pole vault at 10 ft. 3 in. He also took second in the half mile and third in the discus. Robert Peterson tied with Viola and La Farge for first place in the high jump at 5 ft. 8 in. Roy Havens was in a four way tie for third in the pole vault. Grocer: Well, here’s the molasses. Where’s your money? Fay Cullmann: In the bottom of the jug. Mr. Rowe: Name one of the principal uses of cowhide. Willard S: It holds the cow together. Mr. Tweed: Did you get all the questions in the test? Earl L: Oh, yes! But it was the answers that bothered. —o— Miss Gay: George Washington couldn’t tell a lie. Windy F: I can the minute I hear one. —o— Mr. Tweed: We’ll have a quiz today. Class: W’e haven’t any paper. Mr. Tweed: I’ll get some, but, in the meantime, copy these questions. —o— Arline C: Little things are the things that tell—especially little sisters and brothers. —o— Mr. Tweed: What this track team needs is life. Francis C. (thinking it meant imprisonment): Oh, my! Don’t you think thirty days would be plenty? —o— Mr. Tweed: Did you get hit in the fracas ? John S: No, I was hit on the head. —o— Florence C: Handsome men are al-way conceited. Charles T: Not always. I’m not. —o— Miss Lound: What are you doing Elaine ? Elaine N: Nothing. Miss Lound: Ann, what are you doing? Ann B: I’m helping Elaine.