West Salem High School - Hi Lite Yearbook (West Salem, IL)

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CLASS PROPHECY Russell Winchell Joan Hallbeck NEWS FLASH: The men from Mars were experimenting with radar and accidentally contacted one of West Salem’s party lines and this is some of the things they heard: Did you hear, Mary, that: Miss Bonnie Giese is now a missionary at the South Pole, teaching penguins how to ice skate. Iva Lou Knakmus, the well known designer, is now designing dog sweaters made from bird feathers. And say, Mary, did you know that: Mrs. Jack Grobleben, the former Miss Inez Poynter, has decided that she likes West Salem so well she has married one of its natives, and is going to make it her home. While Jack, her ever-loving husband, is trying to cross jack rabbits and horses in an effort to give horses a quick start and win the Kentucky Derby. You don’t say, well, I heard the other day that: Mrs. Bill Kerster, the former Miss Dot Fritchley, has been helping her husband in his experiments in trying to find the fourth dimension. While Bill, her devoted husband, blew his arm off a week ago experimenting with atomic power trying to see if it would clean his finger nails. John Howard, that handsome newspaper man, has a new column entitled, “Stay away from dames and live longer” or “How to live happy and die young.” Oh, yes, and did you know that: Williams Store has now employed three models that graduated from the West Salem High School ten years ago and have been living in New York all this time going to finishing schools out there. They are. and are all very pretty—Mary Ellen Provine, Mary Ann Marx, and Clarabel Clodfelter. Yes, Mary, but the worst I’ve heard yet is that: Harold Hardy has now become a great explorer in the vast wild wilderness of Alaska and has a Harem Scarem of eleven Eskimo Squaws. And it’s utterally disgraceful that: Miss Koertge, once a country gal, is now hitting all the night clubs of West Salem, with Everett Beehn, her latest love. Everett Beehn who has inherited the Southern Illinois Lumber Company is work- ing on the project of building roads and walks out of wood.

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And one of the most outrageous things is: Miss Libby Mason is now married to Don Miller and is living in Reno and is helping him with his tricks! Mainly cards. Ruth Pixley is now teaching night school at Little Brick, the subject being love. And also: Mrs. Cowling, formally Miss Adamae Weber, and her husband have applied for homestead rights on the moon. They want to raise cows. Bertha Pixley is now teaching driving in What-not-to-do at the new West Salem High School. Norma Jean Meisenheimer is now the belle of the town and has been seen lately with several boys from Albion. Roy Slunaker is in the army in Alaska teaching seals how to play basketball. Roberta Brant is now taking Diana Shore’s place on the radio and is known as the Diana Shore of West Salem. Evelyn Lawrence, the great doctor, is trying to find a cure for that well-known, almost fatal disease known as puppy love. Since we have all suffered from this im- mensely, we hope she succeeds.