West Plains High School - Zizzer Yearbook (West Plains, MO)

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by taking in the washing of two prominent citizens, T, Kenny and P. Mantz. Senator paused with awe as he looked at the names of these great men, and then passed on with the greatest disappointment. Iris Trimble, the baby of the class, weak and mild and endear- ed to all because of her taking ways, suffered worse than ordinary humans can endure. She it was who married the owner of the St. Louis Browns . As for Margaret Williams, the last on the list, Hogan could tlnd no record of her whereabouts. The last which had been heard of her was On one cold winter's night, when she eloped with a deacon, and disap- peared forever from civilization. Hogan sadly clo ed the book, and as he sat meditating over their careers, the beauti- ful and touching words of Gra.y's Elegy flit- ted through his uneducated mind, The boast of Heraldy, 'the pomp of Power, All that beauty, all that wealth e're gave. Await alike the inevitable hour- The paths of glory lead but to the grave. T, K. and H. M. '14, THAT NEW VVOMAN. 3 'Twas once upon a summer day, I saw a maiden fair, Her eyes were blue, her cheeks were pink, And sea green was her hair. The brows were blackened with utmost care, Her nose no shade at all. With fiery red, her lips were touched, All dressed for the Charity Ball. But stay, for I forgot her gown, Which was important still, Aftho it's use has clauged gt lot, 'Tis now a drape and ilill. 1 Of course this gown was scant at feet, And slit to be in style, 'Twas made of red, and green, and blue, And could be heard a mile. And round her neck, so tall so straight, A velvet band did go. But as I looked I hurt my eyes, lt was the last tango. I passed her by amidst the throng, She was just one of those, lVho sell their souls in vain pursuit Of stylish Paris clothes. A. M. '16. THE TALE OF THE JUNIORS ' Once in the early year With examinations near, Strange things did happen here H I Around the High School ,sl For, on the building fair fl as Floating upon the air, Appeared a blue pennant there, Attached to the ilag pole. 2 'Mazed were the students all On the campus and in hall And they did wonder all, How it was reared there Proud were the Juniors then For it was within their ken To explain how, why and when, It had appeared there I 3 Alas for the Juniors pride, For trouble did preside, And did for them betide, A fate quite tragic. Tho that night with greatest care The Juniors guarded there, That llag did disappear As if by magic. A 4 And now it was only meet That the Juniors pride should fleet, When they learned that their little feat Some shingles injured. And the school board stern and cool, Had forthwith made a rule That who had thus played the fool Be sternly censured. 5 Then the stern professor said Ten cents must by each be paid, For those shingles, or else thy grades Shall be withholden. Then had the class a pain, And sorrow deep did reign, Each countenance Kin vain! Looked worn and olden 6 For slowly, all in time, Each handed out his dime, And then did the Juniors pine, For their grades were lowest, And as thro this they passed, They a lesson learned at last And now thy're a modest class. 'rue rest thbu knowest, ' ' 1' I ., . L,.y,,f6fI9 f J QQ Cf if ' ,L',9V2e.,!fLf-ft .ff 4.4-V' fx C ii. Z,

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SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY. It was in the year 1949. Senator Hogan, the enterprising editor of the Zizzer, was painfully compiling the list of the alumni of West Plains High School. He reached the 'class of '14, a class once large and fortunate but now small and neglected. Musing over the hard fates, of 'the once happy pupils, the editor let his mind wander, in fancy, over their lives. He first came to the name, Maud Benton. What a disappointment there had been here. Destined for a great career, heralded from one end of the country to the other as the greatest interpreter of Shakespear's heroines since the days of Julia Marlowe, a. woman whom Maud far sur- passed in beauty, she gave all this up, and marrying a poor Methodist preacher, buried herself in the wilds of Kansas. What the world lost by the failure of this great charac- ter can never be estimated, Slowly the editor passed to the next name -Miss Bessie Bogard, A. B., M. A., Mo., U. Ph. D., Vassar. Here was the place for greatness, if such ever existed. Positions were offered her in all the principal women's colleges in the United States, but she chose to confine herself to the measly little English Class in the West Plain High School. What worse thing could have happened to a woman on earth? Only one thing could have been worse! See Trimble's History. Phyllis Dressler came next-Phyllis, the kindest and truest of all creatures, Un- doubtedly she was destined for a better fateg surely the Fates never intended for her to traverse the stormy path of life without a strong protector. But 'there is a Supreme Being, and his will, not hers, was exercised. A lump came into the boy's throat as he gazed at the name of Ruby Henry. Here was a gi-rl of whom no accomplishment could be denied. Famed as a reader and elocution- lst, she was offered contracts from the man. agers of the largest Lyceum circuits of the country, but she preferred to wed a prof- essor. The cognomen of Elton M. Hyder next attracted attention. Elton the renowned mln- strel, that second Mark Twain, that noblest of men-it was just what we expected of him. His moral and uplifting book, Broken Beer-Bottles Break Bones in Bad Boys' Backs, earned for him such a place in literature that he was given a place as postman in Ring- ling's Circus. Closely connected with Elton was that other genius, Lord Clint T. Johnson, a second Demosthenes, and the greatest orator since the days of William Jennings Bryan, A copy of Johnson's famous oration, on the affirma- tive of the question, Resolved, that since the Civil War is now eighty years past, we should no longer wear Union Suits, lay on the table. This oration, delivered at the ,Peace Conference at Lebo, Missouri, won for its composer great fame, both at home and abroad. After this, desiring to devote all his time to oratory, Lord Clint even re- fused a job in a harness shop, which is said to have paid fifteen dollars per. With all his good qualities, he was a great man with the ladies, and it has been said that he has had twelve wives. This is probably a mls- take, as but eleven are certainly known of. Reluctantly leaving the record of this magnificent character, Senator 'turned the page. The man whose name he next noticed had been such a terrific failure! He stopped and thought of Morwood's past life. He remembered that even when Clyde was a mere boy he invented a wagon from spools and toothpick-s, and as the boy grew older and reluctantly left his fa.ther's knee, his genius remained with him. At the young and ten- der age of eighteen, we find him offering to the New York Zoological Society a plan for raising star-fish in trees. Altho the attempt was rt failure, nevertheless it showed Mor- wood's great powers of thought to all the world, and seemingly put him on the high road to fortune. But the ways of the world are hard. and insanity always claims its victims, sooner or later. One day Clyde attempted tn tly from the Woolworth Building to the ground with a pair of water-wings, and so painfully crushed his noble and well-filled craniuin. Brief and simple was the life of the next. Madge Morton, the dearest of all sphinxes. finally induced a poor simp to marry her on her forty-fifth birthday: but after endeavor- ing vainly for four days to say one single word, 'the poor man yielded up the ghost and went to his long home. Madge's heart was broken. and she was buried with him. Poor-man! How different was the fate of her friend, Geneva Pease, who. accustomed to all the luv-'nrv of her father's household, was united in holy matrimony at the tender age otnine- teen to a prominent nurserymen. and retired with him to South Fork. After many years of trial and tribulation, she went to the thriving village of Hardscrabble. where she supported her shiftless and worthless husband

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CASIPUS SNAP-SHOTS