West High School - Westerner Yearbook (Denver, CO)

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SENIOR CLASS OFFICERS HOWX'ARD CIIRISTENBIIRXW .... President .... Howium Cumsrnismmr IV11I.LAM IXIOBIDO ........ Vice President .......... WILBUR VVEISZ MARY IVIADDOX .... . . . Secretary . . . .... LILLY EDQITIST Lso Dowxsa ..... Treasurer .. .... LEO Dowxi-:R SENIOR CLASS HISTORY In tl1e fall of the sixteenth year of the twentieth century a goodly com- pany of ladies and youths pilgrimaged to a land that to them had been un- known. It was not, however, an unheard-of place: for many and thrilling were the tales coming from the 'tlllestf' Having declared it a city villa of that world-famous tribe of 1920, they proceeded to civilize it according to their own customs. But all could not be done in a day. The denizens of that land were slow to understand the new order of things: but the light began to dawn upon them when o11e of the illustrious newcomers XVOII the Mary Louise IVhite contest. In time minor reforms were brought about, such as proving that ta-1-lijzzai'-I-Qab-I-lf, and that Latin is a dead language, to say nothing of their convincing essays on 'tHow I Spent Last Summer. Also thev could answer the most difficult questions in Greek and Roman history with apparent UH ease. Still much remained to be done, and, after lecturing in the motherland for a brief three months' furlough, they returned with different titles. having learned that the term '4Freshma.nl' was a discordant sound to the natives. In this year, true to form, they retook the Mary Louise Ivhite prize, and also captured the Prize Debate. Having made a little headway the previous year, the colonists scattered, some continuing their former occupations, and others turning to new fields. In this manner Ft. Latin was strengthened and Mathematics continued on the immense Plane, Geometry. Port. English-had been established the preceding year, and was not left Shorthanded at thetimc. Gen. Science was followed by a group of stalwart pioneers who learned from him that all was l10t gold that glittered. This year they also expounded the history of England to the natives. They were somewhat surprised to find that said natives knew something about England. It seems that the natives, had, by tradition and crude inscriptions on parchment, kept a fragmentary record of what was told them by early explorers. Much help was gained in military matters by the study of Caesars Gallic IVars in the original language. This led to the organization of an Army called the H. S. Vfs fHouse Servants and Valetsj. They were clothed at their own expense in uniforms resembling those of a modern bell-hop. The year following, leaving most of the established settlements in the hands of successors, they made great headway in their scholastic undertaking. The arrogant inhabitants, being forced out by the steady progress of the set- tlers, were at that time greatly diminished in numbers, and bade fair to become extinct, while at the same time showing no evidences of becoming civilized. The colonists predominated in everything pertaining to the place, both literary and physical. These sturdy people went so far as to win from the natives at track meets and the like, and startled the wo1'ld by their watery victory in the famous Tug of VVar. A democ1'atic form of government was established at that time, and continues to this day. This was due to a new idea introduced to them by Medicine Man Morris who patiently set forth his theory until it was thoroughly imbedded in their minds. A movement was also put on foot Page Eleven

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to teach the natives something about Physics. One group of informers worked on thirteen different cases, teaching each a littleg but only one, Hocus Pocus Fergus, was able to survive the terrific mental strain of more than a month's work. Others studied solids in the University of Geometry, and discovered many perfect ones, some resembling to a marked degree the human head. During June of that year, a dread disease called Graduation carried off all but one or two of the original population, leaving the control in the hands of the settlers. The disease also took two or three of the settlers themselves who had been too diligent and were therefore too weak to throw off the con- tagion. Still, this was the greatest year that the domain had ever witnessed. The colonists were called ttSeniors, a derivation of the word t'Seigneur,', meaning ttnoblemanf' As would be expected, they ruled wisely and justly tsee Appendix, Note lj. By this time they had become highly intellectual and would tolerate no common literature. A work by one Edmund Burke was even criticised and condemned. Finding prose too dull, they read the poelns of Milton, Burns, and Shakespeare, This too became tiresome, so, for recrea- tion, they read at odd times a worthy contemporary work called t'Bill Nye's History of the U. S. Under Hocus Pocus Fergus, they studied the compo- sition of compounds, using a text-book on Alchemy tderived from Chemistryj. Perhaps the most familiar was a compound made of saccharine matter, lac- teal fluid, and cocoa. At the University of Geometry tsee Appendix, Note QQ, Analytics was studied, combined with a subject known as Algebra. Dominating in all branches of learning and athletics, they now give prom- ise of making Burke and the Admiralble Crichton shiver in their graves, and were Milton alive, he would not need eyes to see the brilliance of their careers. Should that plague, Graduation, e'er return, let us hope that all or none may gog and that in the future state all may strive even more nobly and with more success than they did as the Class of ttTwenty', in old iVest Side. APPENDIX Note 1. The signing of the Declaration of Independence will be celebrated hereafter on the fourth day of July of each year, except when that date falls on Sundayg in such case it will be observed either Saturday or Monday. Note 2. The first sleeping cars were used on the Cumberland Valley road between Harrisburg and Chambersburg in 1938. ACKNOVVLE DGMENTS Annual, 1918. Annual, 1919. Bulfinch's Age of Fables. Oliver Typewriter, Esq. Et cetera. Ad iufinitum. ' FARNUM ST. Joris. Page Twelve