West Fairmont High School - Maple Leaves Yearbook (Fairmont, WV)

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eetbgtfnv -5 f fill Two negro women met on the street. Land sakes, Opal, said one, Why such elegant nnery on? You look like you might be huntin' fo' a husban'. I am, Lily, I am. Why, I thought you was married to that Rastus Brown? I am, that's the one I'm huntin' for. Flip- Why didn't you kiss her? Flash- Why should I? She doesn't bore me. English Visitor- But have you no leisure class over here? Hard-boiled Yank- Oh, yes, we have the coal miners. I must see the doctor today. I don't like the looks of my wife. I'll come with you, old man: I can't bear the sight of mine, either. Judge- This is the fourth time you've been here for stealing chickens, Rastus. What's your explanation? Rastus- Well, suh, Jedge, my onliest ex- plization is dat me or de night wuzn't dark enough. Si Mills- What shape is a kiss? E. Allard- I don't know. Si Mills- Give me one and we'll call it square. Ohl Woe is me, said the horse. as he came through the hole. Annie, called her mistress, just come into the dining room a moment. Now look at this. Watch me. I can write my name in the dust on this table. Annie grinned: It sure must be a grand thing, she said, to have a eddicationf' Pretty soft, said the star boarder as he ordered his morning egg. A Nightmare Page 141 Mike came home with his eye blackened and his nose and head bleeding terribly. He went directly to a basin and commenced washing the blood from his wounds. Mike, said his wife, who did this? Pat did it. You mean that you let that little red- headed, freckled-face runt beat you up this- a-way? she demanded. Shi Mary, ye mustn't speak evil of the dead. replied Mike. She-'iThis is the story of a man out west who traded his wife off for a horse. You wouldn't trade me for a horse, would you. darling? He- Of course not, but I'd hate to have anyone tempt me with a damn good car! Teacher- Now, children, who can tell me how much a pence is worth in American money? Sam Friedlander- Well, teacher, you can get a good pair for three dollars at my fad- der's. Sailor's Wife- So you'll be back in four years, will you? Sailor- Aye, but I may be a bit late on this trip. Sailor's Wife- Well, if you are, don't let's 'ave any of your old excuses about the ship going down and 'aving to walk home! Shiver my timbers, said the dance floor as 300 couples Charlestoned over it. My parents told me not to smoke, I don't. Nor listen to a naughty joke, I don't. They made it clear I mustn't wink At pretty girls, or even think About intoxicating drink, I don't. To flirt or dance is very wrong. I don't. Wild youth choose women, wine and song. I don't. I hiss no girls, not even one, I do not know how it is done. You wouIdn't think I had mach fun, I don't. Mother - And did my little pet learn anything today in school? Her Baby- I learned two kids betterin to call me 'Mama's little pet'!

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'Nw 'V Il IIIIPLEQLGAUES fisll g v Ii I 523551 ,.i,.,.,...,-..l-11-- Holding His Own Nut Jones- Do the girls lipstick? Red Hammondf They sure do. Soph.- February can't March, but April May. Fresh.- June know that or did July? Frog Mouth Booth fdiscussing the warJ- Do you believe in preparedness? Francis Watson- Well, I wouldn't mind lying in arms. Didja see Alice Terry in Sackcloth and Scarlet? No. but I saw Gilda Grey in purple tights. Love is like gold: it depends a lot on' the approach. HI-low old are you. Peggy? Why, I am eighteen. Jack. EighteenI Why you told me that five years ago. Well, I'm not one of those people that say one thing one day and another the next. Guide- Those ruins over there are four thousand years old. Roving Romeo-- Guan! This is only l926 now. Lady Cto legal friendl - You won't charge for a question. I hope? Lawyer-- No, only for the answer, of course. Bob Crusoe- Who was that man I saw you with Friday? Mrs. Friday- Yessah, dat was him. Maude Pollock- Does your canoe leak? Tom Fisher- Only at one end. We'll sit in the other. Mary Ellen Staggers is terribly dumb. She thinks Mussolini is a town in Austria. Francis Watson- You don't say. And where is it? Miss Watson - How do you like my room as a whole? Miss Smith- As a hole its fine. As a room, not so good. Fr. Funk- Can anyone tell me how a stove pipe is made Aubrey Taylor- First you take a big hole and wrap some tin around it? PM I asked her if I could see her home. And what did she say? Said she would send me a picture of it. This makes me see red. said the painter as he was crowned with a paint bucket. Lee Sat 1 Do you know why they've stopped putting horns on Fords? Bob Lowe- Sure, they look like the devil anyhow. Jack ought to be a knight. Why so. dearie? Why, last night when I got chilly, he made me a coat of arms! Absent-minded Vegetarian- Dear, dear! Was I going up or down the street when l met you? Mr. Bifchop- Why-er-up the street. Absent-minded Vegetarian- AhI Then I've had lunch. 'AGosh. you've got a terrible cold. I-low did you get it? I went to a masquerade party dressed as a flapperf' Mr. Hicks- We are going to have a lit- tle talk on wading birds. Of course, the stork is one-what are you laughing at, Jean? Jean H.- Oh, but teacher-the idea of there being any storks. Page 140

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,R -- wsmwi ll? IW -QPtl5ftGnvG3 Z i!! Happy- Out of my way! I'm off to be married! Wise- You sure are way off! ,. .l This is hard to take. said the burgler as he climbed over the fence with a piano on his back. ,i.l. -- Corporal- What's that on your neck? Sergent-- That's a frecklef' Corporal- Well, now, that's the first time I ever saw a freckle walk! ,lil- First Crap-Shooter - Shoots a dollar! Fade me. somebody, fade me! Second Sportsman- Fade you? Boy. you is already bleached! How much do you weigh, Cherie? Oh, not sufficient to spoil the crease in Monsieur's trousers. lratc Papa- What do you mean by com- ing home at 4 A. M? Flapper- For heaven's sake. pop. I have to patronize the old roost sometime. don't I iii- Mr. Hicks- Red, when you jumped over that fence you showed your agility. Red Hammond- I told maw to sew up that hole in my pants. Prosecutor- Did you see that man take his departure? Colored Witnessi No, sah, all I seen him take was his suitcase. ,illi- It's a dog's life. said the butcher as he dexteriously cut off three yards of bologny for the lady customer. lill- I am onto your line. said the sparrow to the old lady hanging out underwear. There's millions in it. said the inventor as he scratched his head. Personal fowl. said the old lady as she showed her guest her pet hen. I follow suit, said the tailor's bill as the tailor licked the stamp. - You can't get away with that stuff. said the cop as he shot the second-story man. They'll have to stop hanging around here. said the Governor as he ordered the electric chair to be put up. Let's have another beer, said the under- taker. as he dragged in the next victim. You'll have to hand it to him, said the football fan as the left end dropped the ball, forward pass. John-- What is life insurance? Bill- It's keepin' a man poor all his life so's he can die rich. M. L. H.- I wonder why we are grow- ing tired of each other. Brady- I haven't an idea. M. L. I-I.- 'I'hat's just the reason. Miss Myers- What can you tell about nitrates? Donald S.- They are cheaper than day rates. Bet I can make fifty tonight in my Ford. I could have just as good a time with one. Dana B.-- What are you doing for a living? Fred G.- Breathing John Cranwell was seen at a dance chew- ing Life-Savers to make his friends think he had been drinking! Do you like Codflsh balls. Curtis? l don't know, Miss, I never attended any. Helen Lake - So you are from Long Island? Harold Schimmel - Yes, indeed - A Great Necker. Where is that beautiful canary bird of yours that used to sing so sweetly? I had to sell it because my husband left it on the radio set and it learned static! 41705 :' , : .f .la 4... .'u.v : Material for a House-warming Party Page 1.52