West Fairmont High School - Maple Leaves Yearbook (Fairmont, WV)

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'Nw 'V Il IIIIPLEQLGAUES fisll g v Ii I 523551 ,.i,.,.,...,-..l-11-- Holding His Own Nut Jones- Do the girls lipstick? Red Hammondf They sure do. Soph.- February can't March, but April May. Fresh.- June know that or did July? Frog Mouth Booth fdiscussing the warJ- Do you believe in preparedness? Francis Watson- Well, I wouldn't mind lying in arms. Didja see Alice Terry in Sackcloth and Scarlet? No. but I saw Gilda Grey in purple tights. Love is like gold: it depends a lot on' the approach. HI-low old are you. Peggy? Why, I am eighteen. Jack. EighteenI Why you told me that five years ago. Well, I'm not one of those people that say one thing one day and another the next. Guide- Those ruins over there are four thousand years old. Roving Romeo-- Guan! This is only l926 now. Lady Cto legal friendl - You won't charge for a question. I hope? Lawyer-- No, only for the answer, of course. Bob Crusoe- Who was that man I saw you with Friday? Mrs. Friday- Yessah, dat was him. Maude Pollock- Does your canoe leak? Tom Fisher- Only at one end. We'll sit in the other. Mary Ellen Staggers is terribly dumb. She thinks Mussolini is a town in Austria. Francis Watson- You don't say. And where is it? Miss Watson - How do you like my room as a whole? Miss Smith- As a hole its fine. As a room, not so good. Fr. Funk- Can anyone tell me how a stove pipe is made Aubrey Taylor- First you take a big hole and wrap some tin around it? PM I asked her if I could see her home. And what did she say? Said she would send me a picture of it. This makes me see red. said the painter as he was crowned with a paint bucket. Lee Sat 1 Do you know why they've stopped putting horns on Fords? Bob Lowe- Sure, they look like the devil anyhow. Jack ought to be a knight. Why so. dearie? Why, last night when I got chilly, he made me a coat of arms! Absent-minded Vegetarian- Dear, dear! Was I going up or down the street when l met you? Mr. Bifchop- Why-er-up the street. Absent-minded Vegetarian- AhI Then I've had lunch. 'AGosh. you've got a terrible cold. I-low did you get it? I went to a masquerade party dressed as a flapperf' Mr. Hicks- We are going to have a lit- tle talk on wading birds. Of course, the stork is one-what are you laughing at, Jean? Jean H.- Oh, but teacher-the idea of there being any storks. Page 140

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Q 'rpm' IEE :W -cpf?L6Lf5nve3? ' Z fill One- My dear, don't be silly. I was wearing my new slippers. Co-Ed- Stop that man! He wanted to kiss mel Cop- 'I'hat's all right, Miss, there'll be another along in a minute. Applicant- How much do I get for do- ing the weepin' act in that show? Manager- Thirty-five cents an hour. Applicant- What? For crying out loud! Mr. Kahn Cin Geometryj- Marguerite Morris. please draw a figure on the board. She does so. Mr. Kahn- Linger, can you find any tri- angles on Miss Morris' figure? Victim- Say, that wasn't my tooth you pulled. Dentist- Be patient. I'm coming to it. He- Do you believe, 'Out of sight, out of mind?' She- No. He- Then I guess I'll turn off the light. Miss Kirk- Who is the greatest modern exponent of his native dialect Tensil Tennant Cat back of room, -- Louderl Miss Kirk- Correct How many deaths? asked the hospital physician while going his rounds. ?-1 Nine. Why, I ordered medicine for ten. Yes, but one refused to take it. Professor fto class in surgeryj -- The right leg of the patient, as you see. is shorter than the left, in consequence of which he limps. Now, what would you do in a case of this kind? Bright Student- Limp, too. Keep 'em alive. boy! Keep 'em alive! said an old physician to his young brother practitioner. Dead men pay no bills. Wife- Oh, doctor. Benjamin seems to be wandering in his mind Doctor fwho knows Benjamini- Don't trouble about that-he can't go far. YH Richard S.- Why don't you sit on my knee? Moselle J.- Because my mother told me to stay away from joints. Page 139 X 'QM ..-if -. 'Zi 9 A L. A Troublesome Miss POOR OL' LIZ Elizabeth is getting old: her tale of life is almost told. No matter how I cuss or scold, she will not function when she's cold. She lacks her old-time jazz and pep: she's getting by just on her rep. There's many a blemish on her skin-soon I must trade the old girl in. Another Ford I must get, you cannot beat them on a bet. Customer - I'm giving a reception in honor of a gentleman, and I'd like to get a cake. What kind would you recommend? Shop-Girl- I would suggest something appropriate to the gentleman's calling. ma- dam. If he's a sculptor. a marble cake: if an athlete, a cupcake: if a musician, an oat- cake: if a horticulturist, a seed-cake, and so on. What is the gentleman's profession. please? Customer- He's a pianist. Shop-Girl- Then, of course, you want a pound-cake. She lay in his arms! A surge of emo- tion rushed through her frail body! Ten- derly he caressed her! She looked up at him out of pleading. blue eyes! And then he said-he said: Poor kitty, did I step on your tail? Mr. Hicks- What is it that human be- ings have that none of the rest of the animal species have? Lee Satterfield-''I-Ialitosis. Miss Ramey- What kind of watch you got? Mr. Hicks- It is a wonder watch? Miss Ramey- Wonder Watch? Never heard of that before. Mr. Hicks- Well, you see. it's this way. Every time I look at it I wonder what time it is.

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eetbgtfnv -5 f fill Two negro women met on the street. Land sakes, Opal, said one, Why such elegant nnery on? You look like you might be huntin' fo' a husban'. I am, Lily, I am. Why, I thought you was married to that Rastus Brown? I am, that's the one I'm huntin' for. Flip- Why didn't you kiss her? Flash- Why should I? She doesn't bore me. English Visitor- But have you no leisure class over here? Hard-boiled Yank- Oh, yes, we have the coal miners. I must see the doctor today. I don't like the looks of my wife. I'll come with you, old man: I can't bear the sight of mine, either. Judge- This is the fourth time you've been here for stealing chickens, Rastus. What's your explanation? Rastus- Well, suh, Jedge, my onliest ex- plization is dat me or de night wuzn't dark enough. Si Mills- What shape is a kiss? E. Allard- I don't know. Si Mills- Give me one and we'll call it square. Ohl Woe is me, said the horse. as he came through the hole. Annie, called her mistress, just come into the dining room a moment. Now look at this. Watch me. I can write my name in the dust on this table. Annie grinned: It sure must be a grand thing, she said, to have a eddicationf' Pretty soft, said the star boarder as he ordered his morning egg. A Nightmare Page 141 Mike came home with his eye blackened and his nose and head bleeding terribly. He went directly to a basin and commenced washing the blood from his wounds. Mike, said his wife, who did this? Pat did it. You mean that you let that little red- headed, freckled-face runt beat you up this- a-way? she demanded. Shi Mary, ye mustn't speak evil of the dead. replied Mike. She-'iThis is the story of a man out west who traded his wife off for a horse. You wouldn't trade me for a horse, would you. darling? He- Of course not, but I'd hate to have anyone tempt me with a damn good car! Teacher- Now, children, who can tell me how much a pence is worth in American money? Sam Friedlander- Well, teacher, you can get a good pair for three dollars at my fad- der's. Sailor's Wife- So you'll be back in four years, will you? Sailor- Aye, but I may be a bit late on this trip. Sailor's Wife- Well, if you are, don't let's 'ave any of your old excuses about the ship going down and 'aving to walk home! Shiver my timbers, said the dance floor as 300 couples Charlestoned over it. My parents told me not to smoke, I don't. Nor listen to a naughty joke, I don't. They made it clear I mustn't wink At pretty girls, or even think About intoxicating drink, I don't. To flirt or dance is very wrong. I don't. Wild youth choose women, wine and song. I don't. I hiss no girls, not even one, I do not know how it is done. You wouIdn't think I had mach fun, I don't. Mother - And did my little pet learn anything today in school? Her Baby- I learned two kids betterin to call me 'Mama's little pet'!