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Page 20 text:
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JOKES Bob: Have you found your quarter yet?” Russ: Yes, Lunnie found it for me!” Bob. Then what are you looking for?” Russ: Lunnie.” Mr. Cornthwaite: Now Andy, if I subtract 20 from 45, what’s the difference?” Andy: That’s what I say, who cares?” Mrs. Gibson: Now, Dyke, which month has twenty-five days Dyke (after a long pause) : They all have.” Mrs. Gibson: Now Dave, if you were going to take an engin- eering course in college, should you have more mathematics?” Dave: I should have my head examined.” Buddy M.: Your fare.” Marlene C.: Your nice looking yourself.” P. S. She rode all day for nothing. Stanley: I hear Kaiser has taken a job.” Bidwell: Ain't it a shame what some guys will do for money?” Deli: Why are you wearing that toothbrush in your lapel?” Freeman: Oh, that's my class pin. I went to Colgate.” — Eighteen —
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Page 19 text:
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Bailey household we find Phil and his wife Elaine in the midst of a red-hot argument. Phil: I’m sick and tired of having everyone talking about me. All the people do in this town is gossip! Elaine: Are you sure what they’re saying isn’t true? Phil: What do you think? (Goes out and slams door.) Elain (talking to herself): Oh, why doesn’t he come home! If those rumors are true and he is out with that vulgar Miss Rowden — I’ll — I’ll — just kill myself, (sob sob). Elaine: I can’t stand this another minute. I've tot to to out and find him. Elaine (entering a swanky place called The Happy Hour) : Phil! Oh, Phil darling! How could you? It’s true you don’t love me any- more. You love that — that husband chaser! Oh, I’m going to kill myself!!!! (Runs out of Cafe into the traffic filled avenue.) Cab Driver: Git out uh th road lady! Ya wanna git kilt? My brakes — they won’t hold!!!! Git out uh th’ way I can’t stop! (Screech of tires, and blood curdling scream.) Announcer: Oh, what s going to happen to her? Listen in tomorrow to find the answer!! Now a statement from our sponsor. Sponsor: Maybe Mrs. Bailey has bad breath. Could it be that she has lost her husband because of bad breath ? Well, apparently she hasn’t heard of Doctor Fiske’s Non-Phew Life Savers. Don’t let this happen to you. Help keep your lover by taking these terrific life savers. (Four hours later) (Half hour later.) THE END DELI BAILEY, ’33 — Seventeen
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