Wells River High School - Chatterbox Yearbook (Wells River, VT)

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tion to answer. It’s simply because we’re so all-around perfect that nobody wants us! Do you believe it ? ♦(Author’s Note:— M.L.S. stands for Miserable Ladies’ Society) NANCY GOULD, ’49 ---WRHS----- WAYS OF COMMITTING SUICIDE There are many ways of committing suicide. Some people just pick up a .3K automatic and blow their brains out. (If they have any.) Almost anyone can kill himself, as it doesn't take an enormous amount of brains. An overdose of sleeping pills is the favorite way of the Broadway and Hollywood stars to end it all. With great courage they sit down and write a farewell letter to the world. I just can’t bear to go on living now that John has asked for a divorce.’ 1 hey swallow about ten sleeping bills, take a long drink of Scotch, smoke their last Marijuana”, climb gallantly into bed and die. That’s just about the best way I know of. Of course there’s the energetic type who goes to all the work of tying a rope around a rafter. Then he stands in a chair, ties the rope around his neck and jumps off. Next there is the extrava- gant type who spends a buck and a quarter to go to the top of the Empire State building to jump off. There are some who walk to the highest bridge and jump off. That is a little too cold a way to suit me. I can’t forget the ones that take poison. To me that is one of the worst ways to end one’s life. Half of the time someone finds you, takes you to a hospital where they proceed to fill your stomach full of junk to make you decide to have the poison leave your body. So leave it, it does. There is one case about a man who was very determined to commit suicide. It seems that this man was driving along in his car when he decided that he was sick of living. He picked out one of the numerous elms along the highway and proceeded to wrap his car around it. When this failed to kill him, he grabbed some glass from the shattered wind- shield and slashed his throat. When this also failed his intent, he ran to the nearby river, jumped in and was drowned. So you see my fellow classmates, committing suicide sometimes takes a lot of work, so don’t try it. It won’t do any good anyway. KEITH BIDWELL, ’49 — Eighteen —

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 Miss Stearns, who is the main character in the well known book, 'Oliver Twist’ by Charles Dickens?” I had heard of him, but I didn’t have the slightest idea as to the answer, I walked away with bowed head and a carton of tooth paste, leaving the $20,000 behind! Then I remembered — Mrs. Gibson, my English teacher, had told me to read that book when I was in high school last year! That’s why I should read ! PATRICIA STEARNS, ’49 ---WRHS-- THE BIG THREE OR THE M. L. S. I wonder what will become of us. Bet we’ll be old maids. Oh, it couldn’t be as bad as that. But the men don’t need to start bragging. After all, not many of them are fortunate enough to beguile a woman as brilliant and praise-worthy as one of us. As for looks, why we’ve got beauty-plus! Just look at those lovely soft curls and those ruby red lips. And nothing goes better with golden brown hair than flashing blue eyes. Our husbands wouldn’t have to go to the movies to see a beauty parade; just put us on a pedestal and there they have it. Speak- ing of personality, why we’ve got that too — high-octane in value. We never get cross or angry at anything. Go ahead men; date another woman if you like. We don’t get irritated! We just light up an Old Gold. We’re so kind and generous; there’s nothing we won’t do for a person if we possibly can do it. We’d give Mrs. Cartwheel the clothes off our backs if it would help her any. If we dropped a dime we wouldn't be like the Scotchman who dug the Grand Canyon look- ing for a lost dime. And we mustn’t forget to mention our ability. Not only can we cook, sew, launder, and dust with care to the nth degree, but we can drive a car with unequalled skill. Of course, I’ll admit that we occasionally miss a few fe’nceposts, but what of it? That lessens the number for somebody else to run into. I’ll bet we could even pilot a plane if the men would only let us try. We can run rivit machines, too. So you see, there’s just no end to the things we can do. Well, if that’s true, why must we expect to become old maids? That’s an easy ques- — Seventeen —

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BY PRISCILLA PUDVAH, BARBARA SAWYER, AND ELLEN BAILEY, ’50 PHILIP BASCH Phil If you see a well-dressed guy walk into the school building, that’s Philip Basch. He is the lady-killer” of the Senior Class. Phil is another one of the basketball Marooncrs” who wdl most certainly be missed next year. He is also kept busy working in Clark's Store — could he be responsible for the on- coming trade?? We are not sure what he plans to do but it will either be the Marines or Northampton Commercial College. KEITH BIDWELL Keith High scorer in basketball and co-captain of the team, that's Keith Bidwell. He is the David Muzzey” of the Senior Class. He also has a knack of making the girls’ hearts jump when he calls them Cutie.” Keith loves to argue with the teachers but he usual- ly gets put out in the first round. He plans to go into the paper making industry. We know he 11 make good, because he has what it takes, and how! Good luck, Bidwell! — Nineteen —