Wells High School - Crimson and Gray Yearbook (Southbridge, MA)

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THE CRIMSON AND GRAY 15 Dublin, said the judge. And I have stood in the ministry for 25 years at Navan, said the priest. That settles the question said the land- lord : — The aged priest has stood for 25 years so he has the best right to the bed. of my IT DEPENDED Host: — Won ' t you try a piece wife ' s angel cake? Guest: — Will it make an angel of me? Host: — That depends upon the kind of a life you have led. Chairman, (at concept) — Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Brown will now sing ' Only Once more. ' Sarcastic Critic : — Thank goodness for that. Chairman (coming forward again) — Ladies and gentlemen, instead of singing Only Once More ' , Miss Brown will sing ' Forever and Ever. ' A drill sergeant was drilling the recruit squad in the use of the rifle. Everything went smoothly until blank cartridges were distributed. The recruits were instructed to load their pieces and stand at ready, and then the sergeant gave the command : Fire at will! Private Perilous was puzzled. He low- ered his gun. Which one is will? he ask- ed. Teacher : — What are principle parts of pugno? Student, who always got his informa- tion from the boy in the back, heard the boy in the back say I dono, so the studeut in front said, I dono, I donare, I donavi, I donatus. a i Tillyer: (browsing in a book store) Last days of Pompeii ' , what did he die of? ' Bookseller: — Oh, some sort of erup- tion. — Editor, Geoi ' ge Darling. ®

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JOKES Teacher: — Tell us what you know about Abraham Lincoln. Student — (Standing up and sticking out his chest) : He built the cabin he was born in. Teacher:— Oh, those Freshmen! Bobby, asked the teacher at school, what was the name of the first man? George Washington, replied Bobby with conviction. Oh, no, Bobby, Washington didn ' t come till long afterwards. Adam was the first man. Ah, well, snorted Bobby in disgust, of course, if you ' re talking about for- eigners. Teacher: — We borrowed our numerals from the Arabs, our calendar from the Ro- mans. Can you think of one other exam- ple? Willie Willis: — Our lawnmower from the Smiths and our baby carriage from the bumps. Youthful but absent-minded Professor: — I went down with little Tommy to post this letter and it is still in my hand. Wife: — Good heavens! You haven ' t thrown Tommy in the box, have you? Teacher: — What is the second person of the pronoun? Scholar:— You. Teacher: — Quite right. Now if your father said, T am going out, ' what would your mother say? You are going to stay home. Band Director: — So, that chap is the on e who taught you that trumpet affair for the band. Sour: — Yes, he was the first footer I studied under. Mr. Murphy, announcing: — The school band is going to play for us this afternoon. If you like it we will continue having it every Saturday. After the band played the first piece, a man walked slowly over to the conductor and said, Do you play by request? The conductor replied, Yes, certainly sir. The man said, Will you play pinochle till I finish my dinner? Teacher: — Johnnie, who was Homer? Student: — - He was the fellow who made Babe Ruth famous. Johnny, what is a cannibal? I don ' t know. Well, if you ate your father and mother what would that make you? An orphan. Teacher of Hygiene : — Why must we always be careful to keep our homes clean and neat? Little Girl : — Because company may walk in at any time. A footman proud of his grammar usher- ed into the drawing room a Mr. Foot and his two daughters with this introduction : Mr. Foot and the two Misses Feet. QUICK TO CATCH ON Carl , said a restaurant manager to a waiter, Why did that man from table No. 7 leave so suddenly? Well, sir, said the waiter, after sit- ting down he ordered sausages and I told him we were out of them, but if he would wait a few minutes I would get the cook to make some. When I went to the kitchen and called out the order, I accidentally stepped on the dog ' s tail, and, of course it yelped. The man got up right away, sir, and ran out. A judge, a military officer and a priest applied for lodging at an inn where there was only one spare bed, so the landlord had to decide: I have. lain in garrison for 15 years at Birr, said the officer. I have sat as a judge for 20 years in

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EXCHANGES With the publication of the first issue of our paper begins our desire to improve. We want to expand our Exchange and add new names to our list of Exchanges. How can we best accomplish our purpose? Your comments and suggestions can help. Can you add your school paper to our list of exchanges? If you can do this, and we know that you will have many suggestions, our paper is certain to improve in the fu- ture. We acknowledge and comment upon the following: Gove Arrow — Denver, Colorado. Well planned Commencement issue. Novel class prophecy. Lack of advertisements. Where do you conceal your Exchanges? Conspic- uous sport page. Pasadena Chronicle — Pasadena Junior College, Pasadena, California. Excellent sport page. Much space devoted to locals. Where are your Exchanges? We like your poetry. More stories would be an improve- ment. Scotland Courier — Scotland, Pennsylva- nia. Outstanding Alumni page. Evidence of school spirit. Space devoted to Dormi- toryettes. Why not expand your Literary department? Continual appearance of your paper in our school. The Massachusetts Collegian — Massa- chusetts Agricultural College, Amherst Massachusetts. Apparent importance of locals. Absence of Exchanges. Why not en- courage more literary effort? Your adver- tisements are good. . SOME PRAISE AND SOME ADVICE FOR US The 1930 Commencement Number is a great book. It is interesting. It has a good word for all the seniors. The essays were rather long for a school publication. Good arrangement. The jokes were funny and not just foolish. The Class Prophecy had a new idea for its theme. — The Westfield High School Herald, Westfield High School — Westfield, Massachusetts.