Wells High School - Crimson and Gray Yearbook (Southbridge, MA)

Page 20 text:

JOKES Teacher: — Tell us what you know about Abraham Lincoln. Student — (Standing up and sticking out his chest) : He built the cabin he was born in. Teacher:— Oh, those Freshmen! Bobby, asked the teacher at school, what was the name of the first man? George Washington, replied Bobby with conviction. Oh, no, Bobby, Washington didn ' t come till long afterwards. Adam was the first man. Ah, well, snorted Bobby in disgust, of course, if you ' re talking about for- eigners. Teacher: — We borrowed our numerals from the Arabs, our calendar from the Ro- mans. Can you think of one other exam- ple? Willie Willis: — Our lawnmower from the Smiths and our baby carriage from the bumps. Youthful but absent-minded Professor: — I went down with little Tommy to post this letter and it is still in my hand. Wife: — Good heavens! You haven ' t thrown Tommy in the box, have you? Teacher: — What is the second person of the pronoun? Scholar:— You. Teacher: — Quite right. Now if your father said, T am going out, ' what would your mother say? You are going to stay home. Band Director: — So, that chap is the on e who taught you that trumpet affair for the band. Sour: — Yes, he was the first footer I studied under. Mr. Murphy, announcing: — The school band is going to play for us this afternoon. If you like it we will continue having it every Saturday. After the band played the first piece, a man walked slowly over to the conductor and said, Do you play by request? The conductor replied, Yes, certainly sir. The man said, Will you play pinochle till I finish my dinner? Teacher: — Johnnie, who was Homer? Student: — - He was the fellow who made Babe Ruth famous. Johnny, what is a cannibal? I don ' t know. Well, if you ate your father and mother what would that make you? An orphan. Teacher of Hygiene : — Why must we always be careful to keep our homes clean and neat? Little Girl : — Because company may walk in at any time. A footman proud of his grammar usher- ed into the drawing room a Mr. Foot and his two daughters with this introduction : Mr. Foot and the two Misses Feet. QUICK TO CATCH ON Carl , said a restaurant manager to a waiter, Why did that man from table No. 7 leave so suddenly? Well, sir, said the waiter, after sit- ting down he ordered sausages and I told him we were out of them, but if he would wait a few minutes I would get the cook to make some. When I went to the kitchen and called out the order, I accidentally stepped on the dog ' s tail, and, of course it yelped. The man got up right away, sir, and ran out. A judge, a military officer and a priest applied for lodging at an inn where there was only one spare bed, so the landlord had to decide: I have. lain in garrison for 15 years at Birr, said the officer. I have sat as a judge for 20 years in

Page 19 text:

THE CRIMSON AND GRAY 13 Secretary Louise Kershaw Treasurer . , ' ....-. Frederick Waite SOPHOMORES President Charles Tremblay Vice President . Albina Savage Secretary Carrie La Belle Treasurer Edward Kelly FRESHMAN President John Martin Vice President Helen Kelly Secretary Esther Skinner Treasurer . Armand Cieri PICKLES Aha! Your mouth waters — but you are to receive a slight disappointment. They are not to eat. Pickles is the name of the Operetta selected by the Glee Club this year. We will have the honor of watching it the 6th of February, 1931, as the lehear- sals were well started for the past few weeks. The characters are as follows: Hans Maier John Steen Louise Carrie La Belle Captain Kinski William Tillyer Bumski . Frank Buckley Rumski Douglas Southall J. Jennison Jones Valentine Wilson Jigo Nestor Pontbriand Ilona Bernice Hunt Arthur Crefont Roland Gauthier June Pennington . . . . Wanda Kwarciak Jonas H. Pennington Eugene Scharschmidt Lady Vivian Delaney Ruth Clough The plot — but if we tell you the plot you will not enjoy the operetta itself as much as you will if we do not tell you. MEDLEY OF THOUGHTS Somewhere it has been written that the staff should cease appealing for support on the basis of student loyalty and school spirit and devote all their attention to mak- ing the newspaper so interesting that everybody would want it (rather drastic). This cannot be done. We need the help from the gaping ambitious Freshmen to the snub-nosed Senior (both heaven-ward bound) to lay an offering of themes, poems and other meritorious work, to make our magazine so urgently demanded. Preaching at this point would seem more or less a folly, and there is no need of inserting round about ways of denning school-spirit, its work and result. We all know the meaning and significance of this demi-god. No doubt, now and then, we look through cob-webby eyes and deign that no such thing exists. How absurb ! It just makes us more poignantly aware of it. No one compels you to bring material, no one entreats you for any, — that is no one should. Isn ' t there more satisfaction in knowing, that you, yourself, took the in- itiative and contributed some masterpiece? In that case there is no feeling or superior- ity on either side. Yes, you may even go strutting around like a peacock, if need be. If there is one thing that is annoying and especially to the fairer sex is the fail- ure of being noticed. Through having your name connected with the Nobel prize as the great incen- tive in putting poor bewildered humanity on its pedestal, you should be noticed. However, keep this in mind, we are not begging you to share your Shakespearean genius with us, but we would deem it a great honor if you would. We surely would. HONOR ROLL SENIORS ALL A ' S Catherine McKin.stry ALL A ' S AND B ' S Wanda Kwarciak Rita Earls Lottie Peioquin Lorraine Gabree Gertrude Schwartzberg Beatrice Girouard John Steen Wilhemina Kania Jeannette Theriault SOPHOMORES ALL A ' S AND B ' S Bertha Bourdeau Rita Livernois Alice Bucklin Lucille Monroe Romeo Dumais John Tobia JUNIORS ALL A ' S AND B ' S Louise Gabree Blanche Metivier Chester Gates John Poeton Rita Gaudette Frederick Waite Edward Kaszyneski George Wood Wallace Maclean FRESHMEN ALL A ' S AND B ' S Arthur Renaud Eleanor Williams

Page 21 text:

THE CRIMSON AND GRAY 15 Dublin, said the judge. And I have stood in the ministry for 25 years at Navan, said the priest. That settles the question said the land- lord : — The aged priest has stood for 25 years so he has the best right to the bed. of my IT DEPENDED Host: — Won ' t you try a piece wife ' s angel cake? Guest: — Will it make an angel of me? Host: — That depends upon the kind of a life you have led. Chairman, (at concept) — Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Brown will now sing ' Only Once more. ' Sarcastic Critic : — Thank goodness for that. Chairman (coming forward again) — Ladies and gentlemen, instead of singing Only Once More ' , Miss Brown will sing ' Forever and Ever. ' A drill sergeant was drilling the recruit squad in the use of the rifle. Everything went smoothly until blank cartridges were distributed. The recruits were instructed to load their pieces and stand at ready, and then the sergeant gave the command : Fire at will! Private Perilous was puzzled. He low- ered his gun. Which one is will? he ask- ed. Teacher : — What are principle parts of pugno? Student, who always got his informa- tion from the boy in the back, heard the boy in the back say I dono, so the studeut in front said, I dono, I donare, I donavi, I donatus. a i Tillyer: (browsing in a book store) Last days of Pompeii ' , what did he die of? ' Bookseller: — Oh, some sort of erup- tion. — Editor, Geoi ' ge Darling. ®