Wells High School - Crimson and Gray Yearbook (Southbridge, MA)

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THE CRIMSON AND GRAY 15 Teacher — Give me a sentence with the Old Lady — Is this a through train? word viaduct. Conductor — Yes, we ' re through for the Pupil — He threw a tomato at me, and day. that ' s viaduct. He, as a salesman — I get only two kinds McKinstry— He suffers from head of orders. noises. Him — What are they? Werner— Probably caused by the band on He— Get out and stay out. his hat. It always makes me laugh, Dennison— What are you doing now? So wonderful a treat, Thibeault— Buying old wells, sawing To see an athlete run a mile, them up and selling them for post holes. An d only move two feet. Mr. McMahon, after lesson on horse- power — Are there any questions? W. O ' Shaughnessey — Y es, sir, how do you calculate the horse power in a donkey there wasn ' t? Lesneweski — There ain ' t no Santa Glaus. Miss McGilvray — Why, there must be. How could they make pictures of him if engine Miss Higgins — Have Indians any dis- Tate — I made the team, fellows. tinct social groups? Edwards — Quit your kidding. When did Miss Grant— Sure, haven ' t you heard of you become coach? those Indian clubs? Miss MacLean— I wish you wouldn ' t Miss Martin— Can you imagine anyone chew gum. Don ' t you know it ' s made out of somg to bed with his shoes on? horses ' hoofs? H. Montigny — Sure, that ' s why I get a kick out of it. Miss Whitehead— Who does that? Miss Martin — My horse. Shiek — Where have I seen your face be- fore? Flapper — Right where it is now. Miss Dartt — And where was Sheridan when he took his famous twenty-mile ride? Junior — On a horse. Durant — It ' s sure cold this morning. Fli bet it ' s zero. LaPointe— Well, that ' s nothing. She, at the County Fair — Look at the people. Aren ' t they numerous? He — Yes, and ain ' t there a lot of them? Miss Darling — What did you have for dinner? Miss Callahan — Two guesses. Miss Darling — No Wonder you are go hungry tonight. Inquisitive — What ' s the matter over there? Disgusted — A Boy Scout did so many good turns he got dizzy. Captain — What is the best method to pre- vent the diseases caused by biting insects? Corporal — Don ' t bite the insects. Miss McAllister — Why do snowflakes dance? Lady — I ' ll give you something to eat if Paquette- I don ' t know, unless they ' re you ' ll get that axe and- BAf.iV.ino- for f.hp «nnwh n » Tramp— Oh, I won t need it, lady, my teeth are all right. practicing for the snowball. Do you know Adolph, the butcher boy? Well, he just dropped 60 feet. Sixty feet? Did it kill him? No, they were pigs ' feet. A sign on a bus on Market Street reads, Miss Atlantic City. Rube wants to know why anyone should want to miss Atlantic City.

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Miss Dube, in General Science — Where does steel wool come from? A. Proulx — Off the sheep in the Iron Mountains, of course. Football is known familiarly as the pig- skin game. We suppose that it is because of the many rooters it has. Knight — Price has a trick car. O ' Shaughnessey — Howzat ? Knight — It plays dead in the most con- venient places. T. Clemence — Why does a hen lay eggs during the day instead of at night? Sherman — I give up. T. Clemence — Because at night she is a rooster. Rawson — Ireland should be the richest country in the world. Snell— Why is that? Rawson — Her capital has been Dublin for many years. Teacher — Who was the smallest man in history? Clever Freshie — The Roman soldier who went to sleep on his watch. Miss Taylor — Has Miss Wheeler a very good musical education? Wesson — Splendid, you can tell her the name of a song, and she can tell you what ' s on the other side of the record. Deneault — What is the difference be- tween ammonia and pneumonia? Rosenthal — Search me. Deneault — Why ammonia comes in bot- tles, and pneumonia comes in chests. Miss Bingley — Were you ever alarmed about your studies? F. Hall — Yes, every morning at six o ' clock. E. Walsh — How did you manage to get home so early last night? Renaud — Oh, I had tough luck. I leaned against her door bell. You mean to tell me you fell from the Woolworth Building and you ' re still living? Sure, I only fell from the first floor. Is Detroit the third or Ford city of the United States? Officer — Hey, you, mark time ! Plebe— With my feet, sir? Officer — Have you ever seen anything mark time with its hands? Plebe— Clocks do, sir. Dumb — Heard the Waiter Song? Still Dumber— No, what is it? Dumb — Show me the Waiter go home. And the little rabbits all exclaimed — ' We ' re game. Miss Cortiss — I want a peck of apples. Clerk — Do you want Baldwins? Mijss Cortiss — Sure. Did you think I wanted some with hair on them? Son — Pa, where does ink come from? M. Parent — From incubators, son. Sopho — Work is my meat. More — Well, I ' m a vegetarian.

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16 THE CRIMSON AND GRAY Teacher — Where do pearls come from? Little Boy— Oysters. Teacher — And where do diamonds come from? Little Girl— From fish. Soph — What are you thinking about? Fresh — Thanks for the compliment. Bridget, weeping — Someone told my Pat that he could get his pants pressed by al- lowing a steam roller to run over them. Well, what of it? Pat forgot to take the pants off. Well, Tommy, how would you like your hair cut? Like father ' s, with a hole in the middle. If William Orzeck went out riding in his Ford, ran out of gas, and was forced to push the machine back to town, could you say that the Ford was moving by Will power? Edwards — Had your iron for today? Ryan — No, but I ' m chewing my nails. Blanchard — Has your order been taken? Customer — Yes, and so has Bunker Hill. Teacher — Joseph, what are you going to give your little sister for a birthday pres- ent? Joseph — I dunno, last year I gave her the chicken pox. Some jokes get old waiting for some nervy joke editor to come along.