Wells High School - Crimson and Gray Yearbook (Southbridge, MA)

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Miss Dube, in General Science — Where does steel wool come from? A. Proulx — Off the sheep in the Iron Mountains, of course. Football is known familiarly as the pig- skin game. We suppose that it is because of the many rooters it has. Knight — Price has a trick car. O ' Shaughnessey — Howzat ? Knight — It plays dead in the most con- venient places. T. Clemence — Why does a hen lay eggs during the day instead of at night? Sherman — I give up. T. Clemence — Because at night she is a rooster. Rawson — Ireland should be the richest country in the world. Snell— Why is that? Rawson — Her capital has been Dublin for many years. Teacher — Who was the smallest man in history? Clever Freshie — The Roman soldier who went to sleep on his watch. Miss Taylor — Has Miss Wheeler a very good musical education? Wesson — Splendid, you can tell her the name of a song, and she can tell you what ' s on the other side of the record. Deneault — What is the difference be- tween ammonia and pneumonia? Rosenthal — Search me. Deneault — Why ammonia comes in bot- tles, and pneumonia comes in chests. Miss Bingley — Were you ever alarmed about your studies? F. Hall — Yes, every morning at six o ' clock. E. Walsh — How did you manage to get home so early last night? Renaud — Oh, I had tough luck. I leaned against her door bell. You mean to tell me you fell from the Woolworth Building and you ' re still living? Sure, I only fell from the first floor. Is Detroit the third or Ford city of the United States? Officer — Hey, you, mark time ! Plebe— With my feet, sir? Officer — Have you ever seen anything mark time with its hands? Plebe— Clocks do, sir. Dumb — Heard the Waiter Song? Still Dumber— No, what is it? Dumb — Show me the Waiter go home. And the little rabbits all exclaimed — ' We ' re game. Miss Cortiss — I want a peck of apples. Clerk — Do you want Baldwins? Mijss Cortiss — Sure. Did you think I wanted some with hair on them? Son — Pa, where does ink come from? M. Parent — From incubators, son. Sopho — Work is my meat. More — Well, I ' m a vegetarian.

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THE CRIMSON AND GRAY 13 It caused much excitement among the pu- pils, but when next day there was another notice saying that there would be a meeting of the M. F., and underneath that a code, their excitement knew no bounds. Similar notices were posted during the year, but after a while they began to calm down. About the first of June, things began to disappear in the different class rooms, and in each place the sign M. F. was found. Everyone began to suspect everyone else, and a feeling of uneasiness ran through the school. Finally, one morning in assembly, the principal spoke about it and also about the necessity of honesty, especially in the high school where the older ones are supposed to set good examples for the lower schools. The next day another notice was posted, this time requesting everyone to be present at a meeting after school that afternoon, and signed M. F. That afternoon the air was tense as though some mystery were going to be re- vealed, and so it was. The curtain parted at last, and there on the stage stood the Fresh- man President. Everything became quiet, and he began to speak. This meeting was called to clear the name of the ' M. F. ' he said. In the first place, ' M. F. ' stands for ' Mysterious Freshmen. ' The reason for starting this thing was be- cause we didn ' t like having the upper-class- men treat us v as if we were infants, so we got together and decided to have some fun with them, and formed this club. He went on to say that whoever had taken those things thought that he could lay the blame on the M. F. because every Fresh- man had said on his honor that he had not seen or taken those things. He finished by saying that he hoped that they would all be found before school closed. Everyone was amazed, but at last they came to their senses. They hadn ' t expected anything like this, and while some of them were angry, most of them took it as a good joke. Later everything was returned, and no one ever found out who it was that had taken them. That Freshman Class was remembered for years afterward as one of the brightest classes in that school. Phylis Craig, ' 30. FALL Fall is the playtime of the elves, Who paint the trees so bright, With colors artists can ' t surpass, Though they try with all their might. Through woodlands, lanes and pathways, Thickly laden with the leaves, Showing all their brilliant colors, None are prettier than these. Bonfires, burning in the evenings, Children dancing round it all, Can there be a better playtime For the children than the Fall? Doris Claflin, ' 30.

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THE CRIMSON AND GRAY 15 Teacher — Give me a sentence with the Old Lady — Is this a through train? word viaduct. Conductor — Yes, we ' re through for the Pupil — He threw a tomato at me, and day. that ' s viaduct. He, as a salesman — I get only two kinds McKinstry— He suffers from head of orders. noises. Him — What are they? Werner— Probably caused by the band on He— Get out and stay out. his hat. It always makes me laugh, Dennison— What are you doing now? So wonderful a treat, Thibeault— Buying old wells, sawing To see an athlete run a mile, them up and selling them for post holes. An d only move two feet. Mr. McMahon, after lesson on horse- power — Are there any questions? W. O ' Shaughnessey — Y es, sir, how do you calculate the horse power in a donkey there wasn ' t? Lesneweski — There ain ' t no Santa Glaus. Miss McGilvray — Why, there must be. How could they make pictures of him if engine Miss Higgins — Have Indians any dis- Tate — I made the team, fellows. tinct social groups? Edwards — Quit your kidding. When did Miss Grant— Sure, haven ' t you heard of you become coach? those Indian clubs? Miss MacLean— I wish you wouldn ' t Miss Martin— Can you imagine anyone chew gum. Don ' t you know it ' s made out of somg to bed with his shoes on? horses ' hoofs? H. Montigny — Sure, that ' s why I get a kick out of it. Miss Whitehead— Who does that? Miss Martin — My horse. Shiek — Where have I seen your face be- fore? Flapper — Right where it is now. Miss Dartt — And where was Sheridan when he took his famous twenty-mile ride? Junior — On a horse. Durant — It ' s sure cold this morning. Fli bet it ' s zero. LaPointe— Well, that ' s nothing. She, at the County Fair — Look at the people. Aren ' t they numerous? He — Yes, and ain ' t there a lot of them? Miss Darling — What did you have for dinner? Miss Callahan — Two guesses. Miss Darling — No Wonder you are go hungry tonight. Inquisitive — What ' s the matter over there? Disgusted — A Boy Scout did so many good turns he got dizzy. Captain — What is the best method to pre- vent the diseases caused by biting insects? Corporal — Don ' t bite the insects. Miss McAllister — Why do snowflakes dance? Lady — I ' ll give you something to eat if Paquette- I don ' t know, unless they ' re you ' ll get that axe and- BAf.iV.ino- for f.hp «nnwh n » Tramp— Oh, I won t need it, lady, my teeth are all right. practicing for the snowball. Do you know Adolph, the butcher boy? Well, he just dropped 60 feet. Sixty feet? Did it kill him? No, they were pigs ' feet. A sign on a bus on Market Street reads, Miss Atlantic City. Rube wants to know why anyone should want to miss Atlantic City.