Wells High School - Crimson and Gray Yearbook (Southbridge, MA)

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P ov- v t. W , There was once a far-sighted Mr, Who called on his girl he kr. When he turned on the light, He found to his-f right That it wasn ' t his girl, but her sr. Knowles — Shall we go out and look at the moon? She — But there isn ' t any moon. Knowles — Well, that was just a rhetorical question, anyway. Him — What are the last -,steps ih the latest dance? Her — The front porch. Durgin — Women are wearing their stock- ings in sausage fashion now. Labelle— Howzat? Durgin — Below knees. She — You must be absent-minded — you ' re twenty minutes late for our swim. He — Well, you see, I left my watch home, and when I went to take it out to see if I had time to go back to get it, I didn ' t have it with me. Miss H. Lucier — Got a thumb tack? Middleton — No, but I have a fingernail. Hermon Goodell — He ' s a good fellow, but he ' s too loquacious. Herbert Goodell — Yeah, and besides he talks too much. Customer (very indignant) — Why, I be- lieve the soles of these shoes are made of paper. O ' Shaughnessy ( in Edwards Co.) — Well, if they aren ' t, they are a mighty good imita- tion. The runners were lined up, tense and eager. A deathlike hush gripped the people in the stands. The starter stood ready with his gun raised above his head. On your marks ! The runners crouched down. Get set ! They leaned forward. The pistol cracked. They were off with a leap and down the track. But they had to be called back because the pistol had cracked and a new one had to be procured. The Male— Wilt thou? The Female — Only in very hot weather. Teacher — Now what do little folks do be- fore they go to sleep? Little Folk — Dey closes dere peepers. R. Hall — I ' ve been clipping coupons. D. Simonds — From bonds? Hall — Naw, from magazines for shaving soap.

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14 THE CRIMSON AND GRAY Miss Exoa Fairfield, class of ' 25, has en- tered the employ of the American Optical Company. Miss Felicia Kane is attending Becker ' s Business College, Worcester. Hector Leclair, class of ' 25, of the Mary E. Wells High School, is in Gardner as a re- porter for the Worcester Telegram. Miss Gertrude Ouellette, class of ' 25, is at- tending Boston University, taking the secre- tarial course. Lawrence Litchfield, class of ' 25, is in the research department of the American Opti- cal Company. Charles Tessier, class of ' 25, has entered the employ of the American Optical Com- pany. Louis Allard, class of ' 25, has entered the employ of the American Optical Company. Miss Olivette Bonin, class of ' 25, is attend- ing Post ' s Business School in Worcester. Robert Brown, class of ' 25, has entered the employ of the Dudley Paper Mills. Theogene Benoit is employed by his father, who is a contractor in Southbridge.

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16 THE CRIMSON AND GRAY Black boy, what you-all doin ' ? I ain ' t doin ' nothing, Mammy. My, but you is gettin ' mo ' like yo ' Pappy every day. After the Woodstock game, Miss Cath- arine Clarke was ready to swear that a cow can block traffic most effectually. H. Clarke— If I didn ' t tell you that I only paid $19.98 for this suit, you ' d think I paid $60 for it, wouldn ' t you? Schumacher — Yes, if you told me over the phone. Teacher (reading) — . Then came the green dragon belching forth. Little Johnny — Didn ' t he excuse him- self? Miss W. Chamberlain — Officer, some men are shooting dice down on the corner. Officer — What do you think I am, a game warden ? Poeton — Why did you leave your girl ' s house so early tonight? Oldham — ' Cause the lights went out, and I didn ' t want to sit there in the dark. Mary had a little lamb, (The plot begins to thicken) , She sold it to a restaurant, And now they call it chicken. Miss H. Clarke (working in the library) — What kind of a book were you looking for? Little Boy — An animal story. Miss Clarke — Here ' s a circus story, ' The Taming of the Shrew. ' Litchfield — Do you use tooth-paste? Phil Renaud — Of course not. None of my teeth are loose. Wesson — Do you want to hear something great? Dennison — Sure. Wesson — Rub two bricks together. Litchfield — Part of the ships built by the government were sold. Smith— Why didn ' t they sell whole ships? Simonds — Henry Ford bought a lot of scrap-ships. Benoit — Is a scrap-ship the same as a battle-ship? Miss E. Moore — At Lexington the Eng- lish destroyed three men. He — I just went out to get a breath of air. She— Yes, I can smell it. Visitor — You fellows sure are tough; don ' t even wear hats, do you ? O ' Shaughnessy — Naw, they muss up our hair and take off all the shine. Miss McGilvary — What is the greatest necessity in all walks of life? Miss Morey— Shoes. Lezneski — Have you corrected my paper yet? One of our Faculty — Why, no. Lezneski — Well, when you do, remember it ' s mercy I want, not justice. Miss Wriston — I just found a needle. Rosenthal — Now find a haystack and we ' ll have some fun. Schumacher — Why are you always play- ing so much golf? Edwards — Oh, it keeps me fit. Schumacher — Yes, but fit for what? Edwards — For more golf. Customer — I ' d like to have you pick out a set of false teeth for me. Dentist — Would you like to have me brush them for you also? Did you steal the coat you are wearing? Your Honor, I decline to satisfy the mor- bid curiosity of the court by responding to the interrogation. Newspaper Reader — I see here where a boy set a barn on fire. What kind of an of- fense do you call that? Lawyer — Why, that ' s arson. N. R. — Oh, I beg your pardon, I didn ' t know it was one of your family. Customer — Say, have you any good pork? Grocer— Say, I ' ve got some pork that