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Page 27 text:
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THE CRIMSON AND GRAY 17 Miss Putnam — And when people can make pottery they are no longer savages. Tillyer — Then am I a savage ? I can ' t make pottery. Miss Putnam — The Egyptians differ from us in that they had no coin. LaBelle — Neither have we. In Latin II — Miss Helen Clark translating Caesar In our father ' s memory. Question, Smith?- said Miss Putnam. Smith — What does that mean? Miss Putnam very patiently (?) explains Smith — I knew it couldn ' t mean my father. They ' re off cried Miss Sullivan as she viewed the inmates of an insane asylum. Alice had a little lamb It followed her to school She went to take a test and She flunked it like a fool So Alice changed her plan, they say And took a bull next day, And when she got her paper back She pulled a nice big A. Carney — They wouldn ' t let me play any kind instrument at the orchestra rehearsal this afternoon. Hall — Bass horn or Sax? Carney — neither, electric fan. They tell me that the Eskimo Can go to sleep in beds of snow, That the curious little Jap Curled upon the floor can take a nap And in the realms of quaint Bengal They never use a bed at all, If this is so, come tell me more How do they sleep and sometimes snore, On oyster beds in Baltimore? Hall (at a music store) — Have you Hot Lips ? She (behind the counter) — No. Mine are chapped, but that ' s none of your business. Miss Earls — You know this Cream-O-Wheat nigger. He ' s gone into the movies. Potter — No really. M ' ss Earls — Yup, I ' ve seen him in lots of Cereal pictures. Ju?t think, said a tourist passing through Southbr ' dge, I carf- e all the way from Ohio just to See your worderful sun?et. Some one ' s been strinpn ' ye, stranger, an- swered TilTyer, it awt mine. A tramp — Would you believe it folks, one day, I didn ' t have a thing to eat for a wee k, and I lived on water for a month. Sympathetic Fitzgerald — You poor man, where were you? Tramp — I was on the Ocean. Simonds selling papers : Carnegie leaves an- other library. Paper Mister ? Mr. Gibbons, My, Andrew Carnegie must have been a very rich man to leave so many libraries. Simonds — Lincoln must have been pretty rich too. Mr. Gibbons, How ' s that ? Simonds, He left a whole lot of Lincoln pen- nies around the country. Two High School jokes, so people say, Were walking down a street one day When one joke to the other cried Come on, let ' s cross to the shady side. I saw the anguish on his face While great salty tears he shed What sorrow can be yours ? I cried, Alas! he said, My engine ' s dead. Hebert — I ' m going to buy a revolver. Morse — A six shooter! Hebert — No, nine. I want to kill a cat. I Mr. Gibb ns Miss A U coin Miss Co R bin Miss F innegan Miss Sulliv A n Miss Cro C ker Miss P U tnam Miss O ' Donnel L Miss Swet T Mr. Do Y le T abor Lite H field Tilly E r F itzgerald Ben it Ga U mond Leclai R H all Mcntag U e Ha N son Bir D sail r i aylo R Cam E y Rei D el
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Page 26 text:
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KhW$ In ancient History. Miss Putnam — For what is Lydia noted? Simonds — Vegetable Compound. Heard in the Freshmen Exams A blizzard is the inside of a hen. A circle is a curved straight line with a hole in the middle. A mountain range is a large cookstove. Achilles was dipped in the river Styx to make him normal. Fascination prevents Typhoid Fever. She — Wallace, why did you turn the speed- ometer back to zero? Wallace — I wanted to see how far we could go before reaching home. Hall — I wonder what kind of a noise does a banana make when it peals. Heard in the Senior Class Meeting President — How can we raise some dough? Deep( thinking.) Hall — Put some yeast cakes in the treasury. Miss Putnam — What was the last thing Co- lumbus did? Miss Williams — He died. Miss Putnam — Why is 1619 important? Miss Berry — Women were brought to Amer- ica and the owners received tobacco in ex- change for them. Editor ' s Note — Marion ' s ancestors must have sent over a large number of women as her father still makes cigars. Miss Sullivan — Do you think Shakespeare in- herited his good imagination? Cormack — Well, Shakespeare ' s father drank and all men that drink have good imagina- tions. Mrs. Goodell — Boys here ' s your new tutor. Goodell Twins— Well, why doesn ' t he toot? Wilcox — Talk about salesmanship. Hanson — Yeah, what? Wilcox — I just sold the night watchman in the mill a pair of Sun glasses. When Tabor takes his mother out A riding in his flivver, He uses both of his arms to steer And drives without a quiver. But when he takes his best girl Beside him in his lizzie One arm is on the steering-wheel The other one is busy. It ' s King Tut pearls, It ' s King Tut girls, It ' s King Tut ring, It ' s King Tut hose, It ' s King Tut clothes, It ' s King Tut everything. Now you have heard And I have heard Our modern woman rave. From what I can see They ' ll soon have me, Inhabiting a cave. 1925— A Little Bit of News Tessier hasn ' t grown any. Smithy and Montague grow taller every min- ute. Lucille Leclair still goes with Ally. Louise Nolan still lives in Sturbridge. Ray Allard still shines with some of the ju- nior girls. Tessier — Oh mother, look at that man with white pants. Mother — Those are his flannels, dear. Tessier — But mother, father ' s are red. Miss Sullivan — What race of people have black eyes? Tibor — Sheiks and prize fighters. Mss C. Clark — Tillyer, are you strong? D : ck — (modestJy) Rather so, why? Mss Clark — I wmted to know if ycu can break a twenty -dollar bill. Ir Ancient History — li; s Putnam — Simonds, what neans of transportation did the Egyptians have? kimonds — Flivvc rx.
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