Wellesley College - Legenda Yearbook (Wellesley, MA)

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28 i H K L E G E N D A THE TEACHER S MASTERPIECE Or, THE WONDERFUL CLASS IN DEBATES A I. () (i I ( A 1. S T () R Y YOU have heard of the Welle.sley-X ' assar debate? Delivered at such a logical rate That Wellesley ' s bosom with pride did inflate Till, all of a sudden, ' the Provost — but wait, Such an ending, of course, was due wholly to Fate. I ' ll tell you what ' s going to happen next year, There won ' t be the slightest possible fear, When the assar debaters next appear In Wellesley, in Massachusetts state. Year of nineteen hundred and two. Student government then was new, And other experiments not a few : That was the year when in Wellesley town The ' assar debaters won such renown And the Wellesley speakers, though !o done brown. Yet lost the desired laurel crown. ' Twas April when to Wellesley ' s disgrace. Our tirst intercollegiate debate took place. Now in training debaters. I tell you what, There is always some wliere a weakest spot, — In evidence, form, or delivery. In voice, or gesture, or manner free, In diction, or logic — somewhere you see Such a rock of offense there must always be. Above or below, or without or within. And that ' s the reason, I bet a pin. Why debaters are beaten and do not win. But the teacher declared, (as Teachers will With an It is a plan which I mean to fulfil ) She would train a team in English Fifteen That would beat any college that ever was seen, For, says the teacher, ' tis very plain That the weakest point must bear the strain. And the only way to avoid this bane, It must be confessed, Is to make that point as strong as the rest.

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NINETEEN ' I ' H R K E 27 THE LOST FAC ULTY I WAS seated one day at the or.oan, I was weary and ill at ease, 1 had played that same old prelude In seven different keys. The students had filled up the chapel, ' Twas long ago time to begin, But the leader expected that morning Had not yet api)eared on the scene. I started the March of the Magi, (The girls must l)e entertained) And, maligning the absent Professor, A dreamy indifference feigned. The choir appeared at the north door, Alas ! must our chapel today Go on wUhont that Professor Who is lost — or at least gone astray.? I do not know what I was playing. But 1 know I was pretty near floored. Toward the Faculty section appealing, I gazed — they looked equally bored. At last one observing instructor Comprehended my questioning frown And chased from her seat to the platform, { ' Twas lucky she ' d worn her black gown!) I heaved a sigh as the choir-girls. With their usual rhythmicgait. Marched up the aisle — rather briskly. But ' twas long after half-past eight. It may be that out on the campus I shall see that Professor again : It may be that only in heaven I shall know where she hid herself then. ir Jenkins, Quite often seen poling; I is for Idiots, j Try as you please, I You can ' t fnil i see one nauy of these ! Innumerable Idiots! ' jejune ' jenkins ! You can ' t fail to see one, ' ]iut oftener her eyes I here are so many of these ! Are with fine frenzy rollin.-

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NINETEEN T H R K K 29 So she ' s going to instruct lier class how to poke Into written papers, but not into folic For facts that cannot be bent nor broke, — To make their delivery clear and strong. They must practise late and practise long. Their form to improve, they must read up Hoar, Lincoln and Webster and clozens more. She ' ll put a stop to the a-a and er-r , Split intinitives shall not occur ; Logic they ' ll certainly learn from iier, ( For isn ' t it logic, I ' d like to know, To have a team where no weak points show. ' ' ) Rebuttals will fly from between their lips, And their siiarp points strike like liglUning c-li])s; Argument, valid through and through, VMgour, persuasion, and eloquence, too, Style of the finest, brightest and true ; How will she teach them thus to soar? Why, she ' ll make them give twenty debates or more, And certainly speak once a day from the floor — That is the way she will put them through. I think, says the teacher, then they ' ll do. Do ! I tell you, I rather guess ' Twill be a wonder, nothing less! Vassar will shudder, and Smith will flee. And Wellesley will jump up and down in glee. « Fear and depression — Where will they be? For no such defeat will come our wav As happened in Nineteen Two, one day. When nineteen hundred and three comes around ' Twill find the debaters strong and sound. By the time that Mid-years are here again Splendid speakers, they ' 11 call them then. The days go by; they work with a will. Practising longer, — longer still. March and April are flying fast And the month of the contest comes round at last. V ery few of us mortals here Could wake on the morn of such contests, I fear. Without both feeling and looking queer. In fact, there is nothing makes one so pale As the thought that perhaps the debate will fail. (This is universallv ti ' ue, I ween; At least, it ' s true in English Fifteen.) The day of the Intercollegiate debate They may tremble a little concerning their fate, —