Waverly High School - Novel Yearbook (Waverly, OH)

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MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED Regina Kohut Gene Stouder

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Ho-ha--we had a lead. We traced the light bulbs to the Stouder Company, and through simple deduction, we found that Henix wasn’t guilty--but the Killer was. Now to find the Killer! We talked with his mother, and she told us that he was probably at his fiancee’s house and that his fiancee was none other than Barbara Hibben. We spoke to Miss Hibben as she plowed Jordan’s field of marijuana, and she said she knew nothing of the Killer's whereabouts. This left us from whence we had preceded previously to commence. . .what? Meanwhile, back on the trail of the Killer. We stopped at Shirley Alexander’s Truck Shop and asked her cashier, Gracie Mae Altman, if she knew anything of the Killer’s whereabouts. After her blunt negative reply, we decided to look elsewhere. We went to the Jerry Annis Auto Shop where we asked Chief Mechanic Ronnie Ramsey if he knew the whereabouts of his roommate from the boarding house run by Jeannine Bond. Mechanic Ramsey knew nothing of the incident. We then went to the Cool Malt Shop, owned by John Cool, and spoke with the milk-mixer and malt-masher, Marcia Parsley. She said that the last time Killer had been in the malt shop she had to refuse credit to him, and she told him that he couldn’t have any more double chocolates on the rocks. He had been greatly disturbed, and she hated to see a grown man cry. As he ran from the shop, it seems that the Killer had run over and mutilated Jimmy Lipsey, who was carrying a large bag of light bulbs. We went to the hospital and talked with the receptionist, Janet Wood, who showed us to Mr. Lipsey’s room. Dr. David Moats and Nurse Barbara Chase were just leaving. They said we could stay only a few moments for Lipsey was in bad shape. He had a fractured left big toe and an amputated fingernail. He was in excruciating pain, so we made our visit brief and to the point. When we placed the question, Where did you get the light bulbs?,” he replied in a barely audible voice, From the syndicate, and then lapsed into a coma. This excluded Killer Jordan from the bulb-snatching incident. We had finally found the bulb snatcher. Jimmy Lipsey confessed and was sentenced to thirty lashes with a wet noodle. After admitting his guilt, he did promise never to steal bulbs or walk in front of malt shops again. As I was congratulated by Inspector Stephens, I suddenly remembered that Washburn was still missing. I immediately rushed to Washburn’s home to find that he had returned the night before after taking an unscheduled fishing trip into the lower regions of the Scioto River with Gibby the Tank and his boys from the syndicate. Now that the case was officially closed, I returned to the rocket base and prepared for my return trip to Saturn, the brownie planet with the ring around its nose. I spoke with the flight dispatcher, Linda Palmer, who told me that weather on Saturn was quite turbulent and that the trip would be extremely hazardous. As I climbed into my huge passenger rocket, my stewardesses, Kay Piatt and Joan Stevenson, said that we had a passenger who had to be taken care of extremely well. It seems that Cecil Murray, the passenger, had just had his appendix taken out and was still quite ill. I reassured Mr. Murray, and we blasted off for Saturn!!! The trip was quite uneventful; and, if it hadn't been for the large meteor that ripped the frannistan from the inverted musterdmill, the trip would not have been exciting at all. As I fought my way through the turbulent weather of Saturn, my engineer, Dick Bauer, said we had just enough fuel left for two more light years of flight. Luckily, we made it safe and sound to the Axolotl Space Station. The tower operators, Alta Stulley and Judith Pearson, closed down the field for further flights because of the adverse weather conditions. I went into the snack bar, and waitress Vivian Howerton served me my dinner. As I saw a young lady cleaning light bulbs in the waiting room, it brought back memories of the great bulb-snatching incident. 1 walked over to speak to the young lady, Regina Kohut. She said that there had been so many bulbs stolen from the spaceport that the company was going out of business. Ho-ha—another mystery!! ! However, not wanting to become involved in another incident, I ran from the station screaming and ran into the only woman chief of police of Axolotl, Linda Annis, who was glad to see me back. I explained the situation to her, and she agreed to have her best detectives, Pat McAllister and Patty Kuhn, get right on the case. I attended late that evening the Axolotl Symphony Orchestra where the tickets were taken up by Leona Detillion, and I was ushered to my seat by two beautiful usherettes, Betty Wogan and Carol Puckett. As the curtain dosed on the concert featuring Diane Neal on the bassoon, Pat Mathews on the piano, and Joyce Howell on the bass drum playing the Yugoslavian Wine Polka, my mind once again played over the memories of my school days with all my old friends that I had possibly left for the last time. I had but one thing to say, It’s too bad I didn’t graduate until 1962! 23 By Errol Wells

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 EST LOOKING .oretta Klinker Willis •airy Downing