Waukee High School - Warrior Yearbook (Waukee, IA)

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Heaven W H S A Raid on Scene — Up in Heaven. Time — 6 A. M. Characters — St. Peter and Memibers of the Senior class. Curtain Rises — St. Peter opens his eyes, stretches yawns, and reaches over to shut off the alarm clock. He looks out the window and gives a gasp of astonishment as he sees the whole Sr. class waiting to be admitted through heaven’s pearly gates. He jumps out of bed, grabs his record book, and rushes out. Leo Butler walks up to him and says Howdy, howdy, folkses all I’ve come from earth afar To enter heaven and get a harp In place of my guitar.” St. Peter looks him over then says: If I should let you in Before the clock strikes seven All your girls from Adel and Dallas Would want to come to heaven.’’ Kenny walks up and shakes hands with St. Peter like he was a pump and his arm a pump handle. Says: Hello, St. Pete, How are you today? I’ve sure worked hard getting here, Gosh! I hope I’ll stay.” St. Peter shook his head, looked at Kenny with a frown, then said, 'Tm afraid you can’t get in less we tear the gates down. Besides I’ve heard from all the boys. They said at basketball games you passed the ball so hard you made half of ’em lame. Then what’s this I hear about you teasing all the girls, making Esther .fall down and pulling Violette’s curls?” •Miles walks up, stumbles on St. Peter’s foot and hits his pet corn. “Ouch!” says St. Peter, gives (Miles a dirty glare. Miles sidles right up to him and gives him stare for stare. St. Peter says to him, “You great big awkward brute. I’ve got a real good notion to send you down the chute.” “Oh, woodman, spare this tree”, cries Miles in great despair. “I’m afraid' I’ll tear my breetches a slicing down that stair.” St. Peter says, “For just this time, I’ll let you through the door although in History class you always used to snore.” Ernest straightens his tie then walks up to St. Peter. “I hear up here in heaven the grass grows very long and thought you’d ned a lawn mower pusher among the angelic throng. St. Peter eyes Ernest awhile then says, “While you -were a grocer boy a working by the hour, you sent a lady soap chips when she ordered pancake flour.” Marianne walks up and says, “Pleased to meetcha, St. Peter. Now that long dresses are stylish I thought I’d come up for a while and get me some long flowing robes so I can be right up in style.” St. Peter says, “Tf a should let you in would you really stay and not be running down to Osceola every cay?” 19 3 1 h

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• Y II S He also wills that ‘darky” grease paint and wig that he used in the play last year to Gertrude Jones. Now 3he can doll all up and be that “Bootiful Black Angel” and Miles will have another Pendy to make love to. Kate Longmire leaves Bob Wilson a fudge recipe so that he can keep Violette’s temper sweet, thus avoiding showers of flat irons, kettles and dishes as otherwise might result. Marianne Crispin wills her basketball trunks to Clara Carlo. She says they are kind of ragged since the tournament over at Dallas Center but that won’t hurt anything. Pauline Snyder leaves Everett Hbugham the national heavyweight title for ptrize fighting that she won not so long ago with instructions not to kill anyone. Ernest Duprez says that since he’s pushed a lawn mower around so many times in the Senior Class .play he’s finally found out which end of a lawn mower you push and he wills this secret together with his specs and red hair to Carroll Smity. Now wasn't Ernest kind, Carroll? Arloe Berg, alias Percy, wills his book “How to be Dominant” to Dean Clark and says it would be a good idea to practice on taming Dorotha. Bur-ton Shannon wills his red necktie and his dhort stature to Hugh Clark. Charles Carlo will give his aristocratic strut to John Cunningham very willingly. Miles Sines wills his reckless driving to Henry Leonard because he never has any wrecks. “Is that O. K.?” chorused the class. “Perfect.” answered Mr. Bone. “All right, then, it is ‘SWORN BY WE, THE CLASS OF 1931, OF WAUKEE HIGH SCHOOL, ON MARCH 30, 1931 .” 19 3 1

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W 11 s Burton hops up the last stair, strides over to St. Peter and says: “I’ve traveled tar to heaven. Many a danger did I dare all to get a halo like the other angels wear.” St. Peter says, “What good would it do you to put a halo on your pate? You’d only knock it off as you entered -the pearly gate. Besides, you are so tall from your head down -to hoof you’d probably scrape all the stars off the heavenly roof.” Esther walks up chewing a stick of gum vigorously. “How do you do, Ole Dear?” she says. “I hear up here in heaven you all wear golden shoes. I thought I’d get a pair; Could- I have diamond1 ones if I choose.” St. Peter looked in his recoid book. “Of all this bunch of seniors you’re the worst in all the gang. Think I want you up here teaching the angels slang.” Charles Carlo walks up to St. Peter very dignified. “I always have been crazy about aeroplanes and such things so I thought I’d come up and get myself a pair of angel wings.” St. Peter turns a leaf and says, “Esther would probably show them the wrong way to talk. If I let you in the very first thing you’d be showing them the new cake walk.” Evelyn Stump walks up and says to St. Pete, “I’d like to get in this joint. I hear up here in heaven they sing the triumph sor.g. I’d like to add any beeootiful -voice to the others in the throng.” St. Peter says, “I hear one cay in Spatz’s room, oh, back a month or more, you sat down in a chair and it spilled you on the floor. You might bust up our furniture and we’d never get any more.” Arloe slouches up and says, “Howdy, Old Boy, they say the girls up here are so nice and have such style. I thought I’d come up to investigate and maybe stay awhile.” St. Peter scratches his head then says, “Seems that I remember you broke a golden rule and one Friday afternoon played hooky from school. And instead of reading Macbeth and of the heavenly glories you used to spend too much time a reading snappy stories.” •Beulah walks up and says, “Hello, Mr. St. Peter. I lost my ticket but can I still get into heaven? They say if you go to the other place you’ll burn and that’s no fooling. I thought that I would rather go where the atmosphere’s more cooling.” St. Peter looks at Beulah then says, “Once you slapped Leo Butler and almost knocked him down. I’m sure that even our angels won’t let you slap them around.” Kathryn Longmire is seen just appe-arang on the stairs. She arrives much out of breath. “I hear that here in heaven is a good place to rest. After working all these years at Kent’s won’t you grant my last request?” St. Peter says, “You charged1 -two bits for a hot dog. Of course, it was only a mishap. But besides you dropped a chocolate pie in one of the customers’ lap.” Evelyn Graham steps up and says tearfully, “Where’s Harry Kennedy? On earth •he won my heart. Now if we’re both in heaven we’ll never have to part.” St. Peter hands her a handkerchief then says, “Goodness, gracious, Evelyn, I’d like to let you in but the way you mispronounced your Caesar certainly was a sin.” Pauline Snyder steps up and says, “Blow me down Popeye. Does youse wanta fight? Bend down a little closer and I’ll jab ye with my right.” St. Peter looks startled then says fearfully, “Now -don’t get excited, Polly, let’s v.ot have a row. Keep your temper down and I’ll let you in right now.” Pauline takes a step closer says, “You let these other guys in or I’ll sock you in the eye.” St. Peter takes the golden key, opens the gate with a sigh, and the Seniors all troop in. —E. E. H.