Waterford High School - Fordian Yearbook (Waterford, NY)

Page 27 text:

b' O R D I A N Quandt and Jackson, Funeral Directors—We cheerfully bury you for practically nothing. The United States Soccer Team, led by “Bub” Flynn, stellar center forward, and Captain Fred Weir, defeated the British I earn in an international match in London yesterday. Oscar Fodder, goalie, proved himself a tower of strength on the defense and saved goal after goal by his miraculous stops. It was announced after the game by “General” Schofield, manager of the American Team, that they will next play the Czechoslovakian Team in Paris. ROXY’S—On All This Week—The Famous Singer Midgets. Included in this group are Mabel Perkins, Jessica Velie and Robert Stark, known from coast to coast. Miss Flora Hamilton, professor of chemistry at Vassar College, has just received the Nobel Prize for several hygienic discoveries which have revolutionized the preparation of food in the canning industry. Miss Hamilton disclaimed all credit when interviewed yesterday, stat- ing that Miss Aurore Clement, assistant to her, is, in reality, the one who made the discoveries. There will be a broadcast of the Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra this evening over the N.B.C. hook-up. The orchestra will be led as usual by Leopold Stowkoski. Miss Grace Hardee will render a guitar solo. Albert Wells and George Parker will give a trumpet duet. This is the feature program of the week. Barnum and Ba'ley’s Circus Opened in Madison Square Garden Barnum and Bailey’s Circus opened today in the Garden. All the acts were about as usual with the exception of the Gimmelli Sisters, Catharine and Carmel. They give an aerial act which is the most thrill- ing ever presented by either sex and carry it on without the aid of a net. Well, the old saying is “more fun more people killed”. Polar Expedition Lost The polar expedition led by the fearless Neison Costello and his brave little wife Mrs. Betty Cummings Costello was believed to be lost in the vast Antartic Continent. The last wireless report received from them stated they were within a radius of 150 miles of the Pole. Miss Monica Guira’s Recipas Acclaimad Throughout tha Land Miss Monica Guire, who is noted for her recipes for salads, yester- day was given a gold medal by housewives throughout the land who have used her recipes to their own great advantage and delight.

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PO R 1 I A N CLASS PROPHECY Turner Summoned to White House for Conference New developments in the plans for increasing the gold supply of the nation were negotiated today between the President and Mr. Gordon Turner, well known international banker. It was revealed today that the plans were to be similar to those negotiated by J. P. Morgan and President Cleveland in 1895, at which time Mr. Morgan was considered as Mr. Turner is today, the most powerful financial figure in America. Yanks to Play Tigars in Championship Game for American League Two teams have come down the stretch in the American League and today it is expected that the Yankees will gain the top rung of the ladder with a victory over the Tigers. The reason for this state- ment may be summed up in a few words when it is understood that King, phenomenal hurler, and Willets the great backstop will be the battery for the Yanks. King has mowed down batters in the American League relentlessly and Willetts’ pegs to bases are at times little short of miracles. Colonel Collins made the following statement this morn- ing: “1 consider the price paid for these boys, two hundred thousand dollars, a trivial sum for they are actually worth their weight in gold”. The six day bicycle race ending last evening at the Veledrome m New ork City, was won by Don Mebbs, Shell Oil Co. representa- tive. Don stated that he tirst learned to ride in Waterford, N. Y. John Drake, known to the world as the “king of toothpick manu- facturers”, arrived last night in the U. S. A. after a trip to Europe. He was aboard the S. S. Majestic. Miss Thelma Bourgeous, holding the title of “Miss Universe”, has entered the moving pictures. The premiere opening of her first picture will take place in about six months. Tomorrow evening at Carnegie Hall the piano trio, Misses Doris Hammersley and Dorothy Hemstead and Mr. Ignace Paderwski, known throughout the world as the “finger marvels” will again unite their eftorts to entertain suffering humanity. Maurice Larkins, newest motion picture “find”, will make his lust public appearance with his leading lady Miss Edna Weber, who gave such a sterling performance in Maurice’s last picture, “The Sin of the Fathers”.

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F OKDIA X LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT We, the class of nineteen hundred thirty-two, of the Town of Waterford, in the County of Saratoga and the State of New York, being of sound mind and memory, do make, publish and declare this our Last Will and Testament in manner following, that is to say: First—We direct that all our just debts be paid. Second—To Jane McGrievey we gratefully bequeath Joseph Willetts’ deep bass mumble which he uses to such good advantage in bawling out the “Fordian” staff. Third—To Harry Seifert is given “Pinky” Wells’ genius in the radio world. Harry, we hope, will be a worthy successor to our “Pinky”. Fourth—William Murray is awarded Robert King’s superb tenor voice. Through the aid of this unequalled warbling “Billy” will not stop till he has reached the highest peak in crooning. Fifth—We give to Gordon Turner Warren Collins’ ability to keep the class quiet during class meetings, and to address said class in the manner of a learned barrister addressing a jury. Sixth—lo Elizabeth Canev we will Doris Hammersley’s piano playing so she can take Doris’ place in the school orchestra. Seventh—To Gardiner McGrievey is given Maurice Larkins’ place on the varsity. Eighth lo Frederick Moore one seat in the science room vacated by George Parker. Ninth—To Roger Busha is bequeathed Robert King’s ability to pester teacheis, especially those who preside over the drawing room. Tenth—To Albert Shulusky we donate Warren Collins’ position as goal tender of the soccer team. Eleventh—We give Elaine Germain in keeping the Union Bridge warm. Betty Cummings’ prowness , J w Ifth We give Ruth Parker Doris Hammersley’s ability in the French room. J Thirteenth—We bequeath to “Little Willie” Farrell Robert Stark s rotundity. We hope he will make use of it so that the teachers will be able to see him. '.himv°UNteen aV,0 A?ert P,allozzi we Sive Carl Sorenson’s boxing ship v N A ierl Wl!1 surely capture the paper-weight champion-