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Page 14 text:
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!K KNOW THYSELF. SENIOR!” Name Expression Hobby Accomplishment Ambition Characteristic Fate James D. Smith Now, now Teasing Making others .. miserable To look swell Funny noises General in the army James H. Smith Studious Track Athletics To beat Pavo Nurmi Pretty smile President of the dairymen’s league Francis Thayer Pretty Snorky Janitor of Music Hall Blowing smoke rings To pass Economics Wavy hair Traffic cop “Art” Woodward No kidding Playing the piano Eating cream puffs unaided To give up Six feet 2 Owner of Coney Island “Bill” Maltbie Blank Skipping school Running a flivver To chauffeur for Henry Ford Nice ties Old Man’s Home “Roy” Dickinson (Censored) Fishing Advanced Algebra “SX” Red hair Great Grand- daddy Sheldon Reynolds Well I can’t help it Being useless Flaming youth To graduate (if possible) Reddish hair Mechanic “Bill” Peck “Aw” A front seat with Leda French III To play a Sax” Hair like Paderewsky.’s Ballet dancer George Remington Darn it Playing a violin Eating rhubarb pie a la “mud” To fly Small hands Champion of the Lady Wrestlers Marion Lane Nothin’ doin’ Embroidering Singing To grow thin Dignity Old maid Lois Russell Well Asking questions Knowledge Telephone oper- ator Scowling Missionary Muriel Turner For Lord’s sake “Dicky” Mathematics To be “Duby’s” double Double chin Elevator operator Kathleen Goodrich “Bill” Dancing Looking dignified in a flivver Beauty specialist Stoutness Mother of twenty- five children “Mad” Fassett Well I can’t talk any louder “Franty” Thayer Being silly Cicero teacher My Baby’s Back To get it where the chicken got 4 I a A Edith Fuller I don’t know Running a Ford Reading Hasn’t any Frankness the axe First Lady of the T » Laura Cameron “Huh?” Speaking in Eng- lish IV class Always busy Astronomer Red hair I.«and Proprietor of a Chinese laundry “Nat” Lewis Gott in Himmel Playing tennis Marvin To get to History C on time Innocence (fake) Society matron Mary Webster Mercy Advanced Algebra laughing leader in the next Polar expedition Talking Conductor of an evening train Helen Crandall Well, who cares? Changing seats in English IV class Writing Secretary to the President Pep Owner of the world’s largest to 3 9 £ §1 a f i •:a S, g 8 Beauty Parlor [Bananfi? sfinfo i iSz-iQz ngg ■ j Sfiffififi?- ■ finanfir 2 } £: £■ sanfir ■ ; j
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Page 13 text:
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I THE CYCLONE READ ’EM AND WEEP Thayer—“She’s a wow; she’s the kind of a girl boys write home for.” Shelly—“Write home for what?” Thayer—“Write home for money. Dick—“Shall I take you to the zoo?” Muriel—“No, If they want me they will come after ne. Mick—“I am going to have to stop drink- ing coffee for breakfast.” Myrtle—“Why so?” Mick ”1 can’t sleep in any of my classes any more.” Art—“Doctor. 1 am going to die.” Doc—“What makes you think so?” Art—“My life-time fountain pen just broke!” Zim—“Do you remember the old days when movie houses were as dark as pitch and the click of the camera drowned out all else?” H. Gordon— Yes, darn it, 1 was eight years old then.” Ripton—“Len, you’re the most valuable man in class.” Len—“How’s that?” Ripton—“You snore in your sleep and so keep the other students awake.” Duby (In Astronomy Class)—“Anyone wishing to look at Venus please see me.” James D. Smith to June—“Say. listen: If you took lessons for three years, maybe you could play the piano half as well as you think you can play it now If you thought you played it twice as well as you think you do now—maybe.” Lois—“It says here. ‘A preposition is a poor word to end a sentence with.’ ” Stogie—“That’s the bunk. What’d you want to get that book to be read out of from for?” Arthur D.—“Why, when my father was in condition, he could dive over a hundred feet into two feet of water.” Monty— That’s nothing; my father once dove off the Eiffel Tower onto a damp rag.” Marion—“Do you believe there’s a heav- en?” Jimmie H.—“I know it!” H. Gordon—“You are perfectly normal?” I. aney—“Yes.” H. Gordon—“You light your cigarette with your left hand?” Laney—“Yes.” H. Gordon—“That’s not normal. Most people use a match.” Ruth—“Have you no ambition in life? Wouldn’t you like to do something big— something that would create a great commo- tion in the world?” Woodie—“Yes. Ruth. I’d just love to throw a bushel of eggs into an electric fan.” George—“James D. Smith’s name ought to be “July.” Helen—“Why?” George—“Because he is always after June.” Duby—“What is the declination of the Sun?” Marvin—“When the Sun declines to thine.” Miss Lemmle—“Len. why are you walking so slowly?” Len— So if I drop asleep, I won’t fall so hard.” Lois—“Don’t you just adore Kipling?” Mad—“I don’t know. How do you kipple?” Charlie Wilsey (in English class)—“If ’race’ is cognate object in ‘run a race what is ’drink a quart’? Arnold— That’s a drunk!” Miss Lemmle (in Latin class)—Sheldon, what is “hora?” Sheldon—“Er. oh—hour (Auer).” Miss Lemmle (dreamily)—“Not quite.” Miss DuBois (in P. G.)—“Laura, what comes from Arizona?” Laura (in the clouds)—“Hugh Mosher.” Helen— What’s your favorite breakfast food?” George—“Mush.” Fortune Teller— You will marry a tall, good-looking young man with blue eyes and brown hair.” Mit—“Haven’t you made a mistake about the color of his hair?” Mr. Young (looking at figure Geometry pupil has put on board)—“Now if I had a figure like that. I’d change it.” Smart Pupil—“You’d need to!” il § •a « ■M
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