Warrensburg High School - Arrow Yearbook (Warrensburg, MO)

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V M' -fswvs V!Q7YfXx7XV , , V I W-. wif-bl:sss.QfQ.Dsmfe J N-Q4 A wsfsfy. sr QQ ' a I ,e's GTB nan ing say, ind hy, res. lad Hg. the ' to 63.1 :ask -ogs -ads all in! ou v Ol A Say, did you know the world's celebrating your birthday this year? ' . What? Why of course we know you were born two thousand years ago, this is Just a reminder we celebrate for all great men, like George Washington and Abra- ham Lincoln, and- ' You don't know them? Well, I guess they wouldn't run around with your gang? they'd probably stick around the American quarters. You don't think much of celebrating your birthday when you can't attend? Say, you got the wrong idea. We don't throw a party-no, nor a banquet. Oh, yes, we do have banquets. We have a Junior-Senior banquet and- What do we eat? Oh, chicken, ice cream-no, we don't pour libations to Bacchus, you see we've outlawed Bacchus in this country. Oh, then you don't know about the Eighteenth Amendment! My! I thought everybody knew that. You would if you went to our school. You say Bacchus doesn't look worried? Wcll, you see, we still use his grape juice. Naples is building you a fine monument and putting out 160,000 bucks for it too. No, no, it's not to bury you under-of course you can't be buried again-it's a kind of tribute to your poetry, you know. How do we study your poetry? Why, work out that old dactylic hexameter, translate it, parse it, when we can't possibly talk the teacher out of it. The teacher? Her name's Ryburn. You never heard of her? Say, you're lucky! We often wish we hadn't. Did you copy your dope from that old Greek Homer? Now, now, don't get huffy. I didn't say you did-l've never even read his stuff myself, but a lot of these fellows we call 'critics' say you did. No, but they know as much about that as they do about anything, I reckon. Another thing, how could all four winds blow at one time, as you say they did before old Neptune cracked down on them with his trident? Nothing wrong with it? Why, man, its's unscientihc. You just ought to study Science with our Mr. Campbell! It makes a better story? But my goodness-oh, well, never mind. And how about that conceited bounder Aeneas, getting that pretty, trusting widow to fall for him, even to the point where she was willing to be step-mother to that spoilt kid Ascanius and then practically killing her off? Was that 'pious'? You had to kill her off to make way for Labinia? Why, I didn't know fellows did that sort of thing in your day, too. We're told our' generation's the worst. Oh, yes, I guess you did write 'The Aeneid' to please Augustus and not us, but we like it pretty well-what we know about it-we'd make a few changes, fewer new words, and- The clock strikes-he wakes- lVIy, twelve o'clock! Only ten lines of Vergil translated! Thirty more! Oh, well, guess I'll go to bed. v Y V K. 4 v v V ' X9Xf7Y7i'lN VWVV5' V' Page Sixty-nine E 3 . 1 I . :J if! Us Vie ,nw i . ya l I A. if i .U W, il J 1 1 l 'a I I ls B+! 25 :li E1 i 2 ! H .U il ,. il: ,Ifl lil if I1 ti M: tl . 1 .lb 'FQ it v 1 l i r t u i 11 .ry ll' .1 ,, I .it Y i I il ii 1 ll r 1 ei 1 1 1 1 ! A l 5 1 a i i I 2 Q

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HP LLO VERGILIUS' 4 . vwv 'VVVX 9Q'A'7Y'fQ7'x' V97 V fvxfxfx fXfX!XfX S92 fNi'X,fNi7'N' 3 ,V.V 9 ,Q g,0oo in QV, AAANA A AA AAA- AAAA1 mx J Q I high school youth + a certain well-marked, blue'-backed Latin book : a situation in which Morpheus is soon in ascendancy. And then-hark! P1uto's palace, please, Central. What! you don't know Pluto! Well, hegs boss of Hades. No, I'm not getting upstage, Hades does not mean Hell , Call down there and ask for Vergil. ' You never heard of him? Well, believe me, I've heard of him-and how! More than one Vergil? I don't know, this is 'the Vergil', the great Roman poet-wrote 'The Aeneid'. Vociferous snoring-our hero had pudding for supper. V Then- ' Q, hello Publius, gee, I'm-What? I'm an impertinent young rascal, calling you by your first name? Why we always call fellows we know real well by their first names-and say, man, if you think I don't know you! I'm Murray Williams of Warrensburg High. Aw, say, I, can't call you 'Vergilius Dominus'g it's too long, it don't sound familiar. You say if my Latin is as bad as my English, it must be pretty punk? Why, what's wrong now?' Oh! 'it don't' gets on your nerves, does it? I didn't know dead men had nerves. Anyhow, it can't possibly get on your nerves like your old 'Aeneid' does on mine. What? Well, I will make it snappy. Gee, that's too bad you had to leave! the banquet for this call, but I'm glad I got you, the rest of my Latin class will be green with envy when I tell 'e1n. What do we do in Latin class? Why, study your 'Aeneid'. You didn't? Well, there hasnt been a Vergil class here for ever so long. They've just read Caesars campaigns, Caesarls stuff is dry? I'll say it is-and hard! Julius puffed up, because his wars are read! Well, it wouldn't give him the swell head to hear what kids say about his work. Your 'Aeneid's' lots bette1'. Why it's just like making an honorary fraternity to inake the Vergil class. Only nine of our high school even tried it. They're real smart and- ' ' Q You say 'smart' people must be scarce if I'm a fair sample. Say, now, I ask you, was that kind? I don't Want to get rude but- - What's that horrible noise? Cerberus? Gosh, I thought that mut'd be dead by now: I didn't know dogs lived so long. He must be a real live dog, judging by the bark-but three heads barking would make' quite a noise, I guess. - Why keep a watch-dog in Hades anyway? Nobody wants to get in and you all couldn't get out, could you? He might keep pests like me out? Now, there you are, all sarcastic again! VVell, you didn't count on the telephone, did you? You can't keep us out, S0 you might as well tame old 'Cerbie' for a pet. Vv sfv' Y vvvww 0 vvvv vvvvv ' V s 4 5, VV Pa ge S ixty-eight

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