Warren Hospital School of Nursing - Lamp Yearbook (Warren, PA)

Page 47 text:

Forty-one Safe and Sound fa momlj Stop and let the train go by, It hardly takes a minute, Your car starts off again intact, And better still you're in it. ..WSH- Doctor: Hllll examine you for five dollars. Patient: HO. K. Doc, if you find it welll spilt fifty-fiftyfl LWSHL At a profit. A doctor had just finished taking the temperature of a stock broker who was suffering from a raging fever. ffIt's gone to lOZ, he announced in a hushed voice, eyeing the thermometer. The half-conscious patient raised himself on his elbow - SellI Sell! he shouted. -.VVSH- Our richest and our poorest families are alike, nobody works in either. -WSH- Conceil f'Why is Bessie insisting on being married in an aeroplane? Pat: Well, she's so conceited that she thinks no man on earth is good enough for her. -wsH- , More Truth fhan Poetry Little Phil, she used to live, But now she lives no more, For what she thought was H20 Was H2 Soi -WSH- Face lifting may be a new thing, but nose tilting has been going on for ages. -.WSH-. The teacher was asking her class to define various words. One precocious boy on being asked what a husband was replied, It's something no respectable family should be withoutfl ..WSH-. Phil VV.: 'fMy father weighed only ZZ pounds when he was born. Mary C.: f'Oh, gee, did he live?

Page 46 text:

4 c l F ' 'y C5110 Lamp The Show-Dofwn f'Are you the trained nurse that sister said was coming to stay with us a While? asked Richard. HYes, I'm the trained nursef' 'fWell, come on thenf' said Richard. 'fWe're having a circus out in our barn and the fellows are all Wanting to see you do some of your tricks. -WSH- Dr. Clinger: f'When is quinin given for malaria?'l Bob Bogart: HFifteen minutes before a chill. -WSH- Dr. Clinger: 'fWhat is the action of thymol on hook worms? joe Gardner: HIt paralyzes them and they drop off. LWSHL Correct Diagnosis An exceptionally wealthy patient had been brought to the hos- pital, suffering with a complicated malady, and a major operation was indicated. The eminent house surgeon examined the patient carefully on the morning after his arrival at the hospital. HDo you thinkfl asked an interne after the examination had been concluded, Hthat there is any change in the patient's condition?'l f'Any change, exclaimed the famous surgeon. My boy, there's big money in it. -WSH.. An operation no woman enjoys is having her credit cut off at stores. -WSH.. Miss Ward, to Probie: 'lAre you Hxing that tray for the nephri- tic? Probie: L'No this is for the Russian. 7 LWSH1 Miss Willianis, to Intermediate: l'What's angina pectoris? Intermediate: UIt's a condition of the mouth. What is it when ou're married twice at the same time? Y HPolygamy. l'VVhat When you're only married once? Monatomyf' .1WSH,- E. Burke: UChester, you should think of the future. Chet.: HI canlt. It's Dot's birthday, and I have to think of the present.

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rfy- I 'LU u who Lamp L . ' , ' ' yilanillii .TQ ?: lt 5 V' ess -lin f. ' F J I ack again. lt's great to say Good Morning, And, it's line to say Hello, But better still to grasp the hand Of a loyal friend you know. XVe notice several of the girls VVho for years have heen away, Returning to our dear old State, And we hope, are going to stay. l'll tell you folks, it's mighty line, To have with us once more, So many of our graduates, As in the days of yore. Q CJ0I1f7 l.!7Ill't'tII -HSM- Ijfflilll-fllflll of zz l'l7'l'L'Ild A friend is one who stieks around and pats you on the baek while the rest of the world goes by. -wSn- Kay NVatson tells us: Some lips are made to kiss And some are made over afterwards. -WSH- Squirt: Hasn't Nliss Smith a wieked line? Southern Gentleman: Yes, suh, an' she shoe strings it out -WSHH VVhen the royal doetors lind the little prince all covered with red speekles, do you suppose the diagnosis reads, Chicken pox a la King?