Warren Easton High School - Eagle Yearbook (New Orleans, LA)

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that he had married no less than five wives. He had been able to deceive two preachers. Levin and Cohn, and three Justices of Peace, Candilora. Bordcs and Boyd. But St. Patrick showed him the red lightw when he wanted to enter heaven and he was cast down into the pit. Satan. however. revised his previous judgment and made both of them special inspectors of 'I'artarns. 'l'he next was the most important of all cases on the docket. lt was termed by the clerk as the Whig evolution casei, or the missing link. This case was considered the greatest farce of the age and it was the most talked of item until the great radio hook-up with Mars was accomplished by the five greatcst scientists of the age-Klcinfelt, Cahen. Foley. Maltry, and Hoffman. Wi-ll. to get back to facts we find that there were a group of scientists, the two Zarrilis. Perez, Magne, and Autfarber. who wanted to prove that the Dar- winian theory was correct. After advertising for some explorers in the Eagle, a great daily owned by Aucoin, Darby, Hoover and Barosse. a company of explorers-Hall. Bendler. Wretl, Chapman, Beer, Dailey. and P. Da-Blanc. headed by Tessicr. applied. ln order to linance the explorers a company called the Missing Link was formed. The corporation was headed hy the two Englehardts. The board of directors consisted of Schuuck. Viosca. Beards- Icy. Deloteus and DiCarlo. Bonds were floated and the chief citizens of the town-Pohl. Hartley, Ricketts, H. DeBlauc and Aertker speculated. After a few years the explorers returned to civilization with an animal which they claimed to he the missing link. It really did seem to hc a cross between man and beast. The great scientists put all their tests to the creature and concluded that it was the link, and in exchange for it the explorers were given a large sum of money. The scientists toured the country and were making a pretty nice pile when one day they were amazed to find their link gone. They claimed that it had been stolen by the two Williaiilses. who had a large circus. But as event succeeded event the link was finally found. In the course of the excitement that naturally came about as a result of the loss of the link one of the explorers broke down and confessed that it was nothing more than a mere gorilla which had been caught by the ex- plorers and had been trained to act like a human being. The case so amused Satan that he made most of the explorers his private jestcrs and absolutely refused to even hear of revoking their sentences. fm'-f'f' 1

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Info Ratclifle, Schwertz, Caldwell, France, Mobley, Hunn and Villere. Your own private staff of prosecutors Pradel, Roberts, Gregg, Bill Gerber and Honnoll will uphold your side of the casef, One of the prosecutors then proceeds to outline the case. These bootleggers were convicted of selling what is known in the external regions as 'cat gut' whiskey and they were the sworn enemies ol' a gang of hi-jackers composed of Thomas, Spooner, the Grazianni brothers. Terranova, Read and Huettmann. It scents that there were three men Dres- ner, Fatter and Kober who invented a concoction consisting of 50f4 alcohol to 50'Z Pluto Water, thereby insulting your infernal highness's favorite stim- ulant. They then sold their rights to these bootleggers who suceeded in making a 'pile' on it. But along cattle this corporation of hi-jackers from the nnderworld ol' the external regions whose 'racket' was anything from diaper pills to zeppelins. stole their concoction and gave it a new name--Plutal. The 'hig shots' of the hi-jackers' corporation, amongst whom were Vorhaben. Rau. Gordon. Lafourcade and Gilmore, succeeded in dodging the law ol' the upper world because of their 'jerkl with the politicians of the city. Patrolmen Miller, Napolitano, Dwyer and Norris were directly connected with them. The lnayor of the city, Mullins, and his commission council consisting of Gollmer. Barrow, Smith and Guerin, received most of the 'graftf They were so influential that they had four judges Freishon. Peters. Yvolfe Gerber and McHugh on their payroll. Whell the Lord sent this gang to Hades your highness was so delighted that you inaugurated a special banquet day in their honor. You even had old Georgie Hartman's 'Devil Syncopators' composed ol' our old friends Spencer, Dupas, Renter, Fitzpatrick. Zech. Delaune, Cos- tello, Chin Bing, Chiro and Bruno. If your diabolical highness should revoke the sentences ol' these miserable sinners it would bring down the wrath of the Lord upon your head and you should also have them teach you their methods of dealingf' Satan answered that he would heed his advice and beckoned to his clerk to go with the next case. Wlio should ascend the rostrum of Justice after hearing their names called but our old friends Vocke, Jacob, Jacobsen and Kirchem. who were all convicted of Hstutfingu the ballot box in a campaign for head of the garbage collectors of the city. Mechler was their proud candidate for the position. Besides him Mercier. Wooflcock and Bergeron ran for the office. The stuffing of the boxes came as a grand climax to a day full of excite- ment in which six people Gray, Sanders, Southerland, Beckham. Torre. and Lange were injured. Old Satan sympathized with them because he knew that if he'd have a chance to stuff the box if he and his Master were run- ning for oflice that he would gladly seize the opportunity, so he revised their sentences 1-llld they were made fire tenders, in which position four of their former comrades Biggio, Trahan, Mcclaill and Suares had already seen active service. The next case ou thc docket were two charges of polygamy against none other than little Hanemann and Harvey. Of the two, Hanemann's case was the more astollnding. ln the Lordis own book was written evidence showing -7- . -f r , . . - , . , . .

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