Waltham High School - Mirror Yearbook (Waltham, MA)

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THE MIRROR 23 lass Trolohecy On this fifteenth day of June, nine- teen hundred and thirty-nine, I, on my deathbed as the result of guz- zling a beverage concocted by the con- cern of William Turner and Com- pany, dealers in milk, moose milk, feel it my profound duty to publish these memoirs of the class of '29. I earnestly beseech you to let me waste a little of your valuable time while you listen to a bit of extraca- nonical exposition, done solely for the purpose of acquainting you with yourselves. I pray that through any agony I may thrust upon you, you will have longanimity and sympathize with me in my most sincere effort. QI'm glad that's over.j Last week Phil Burke, still my buxom friend, asked me to locate him a book entitled Domestic Ani- mals and Their Care. I wondered what he wanted with such a book un- til I discovered that he and his wife, nee Hazel lVIcDonough, were blessed with a new and first addition to their family. Desiring to help poor'Phil, I mean the lucky father, I stopped at my favorite bookstore. To my surprise Benny Cutler, the proprietor, with his great horn-rimmed glasses and brilliant red vest seeming too small to circumscribe his equatorial regions, dashed into the store immediately at my request and returned shortly with a book. It was the wrong book, of course, but the title-Psychic Revelations of Professor Raymona' Smith--interesb ed me greatly, as I hadxno idea that M a fellow of such boisterous tempera- ment could restrain himself to in- dulge in writing a book on so heavy a subject. I walked off, turning the pages of the book at random, uncon- sciously leaving Ben pulling his hair at my utter neglect of re-embursing him for the volume. As I turned the pages, I came up- on a chapter head: The Psychoanal- ysis of the Human Mind. A thrill traversed my spine and I read on. Here are the very words that our il- lustrious Professor Smith had Writ- ten: lWy dear readers, I am very sure it is not apparent to your infe- rior intellects what the mental pecu- liarities of the animal scientifically classified as Homo Sapiens are. For example, among all people there is a definite connection, something that acts like radio waves. By a process long known by the Hindoos, it is pos- sible to concentrate these lines of force and by so doing to establish a connection between the parties in question. In this process it is nec- essary to have two people of equal mentality who, wanting to see a de- sired person, sit one on each side of a narrow table with knees touching and hands grasped gently but firmly and eyes gazing in a steadfast man- ner at each other-somehow this sounded familiar-and concentrate on the person in question. This formula invariably works if carried out in absolute accordance with di- rections, with the effect that the per- sons concentrating will be in actual association with the person being concentrated upon.

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THE Mrnnon 25 lWy curiosity led me to want to use this discovery as soon as possible. Consequently I immediately began to think of a person of a mentality equal to mine. I had been walking down the side- walk all the time I had been read- ing. When I looked up, I saw a very attractive sign slung above me on which was written: MacNeil, Jus- tice of the Peace . 'cEqual mental- ity-Arthur MacNeil-just the fel- low, thought I. I rushed into Arthur's office and in a few moments he and I were con- centrating for all we were Worth on Shirley Sweeney. The effort was a complete flop, however, either Shir- ley had no mind at all or Arthur's mentality was inferior to mine Qand I had my suspicions about Arthur.j Disgusted, I was about to leave the office when Clifford Maney and Glenna lVIacBride entered to be tied into a matrimonial knot or what not. Very much surprised, I asked Glenna if she wasn't still married to Lawrence McNamara. She admitted that she was, but declared that she was tired of his flirting with the customers at his beauty parlor and consequently wanted to get hitched up with a good respectable baker like cliff. A It took Arthur and me a full hour to convince Glenna that being mar- ried to two men was a bit irregular and that she had better return to her beauty specialist. When she had left, I turned to Cliff, who had been stand- ing passively by during the argu- ment, and shook his hand, for here was a person whose mind coincided with mine :-Why, I can remember how it had embarrassed me in school when his homework and mine were identical. I pushed him into the back room and soon we were concentrating on Shirley Sweeney again. Wonder of wonders, this time it worked. But what a sight we saw--Shirley sitting in a rocking chair with spectacles on the end of her nose, knitting--Who would have thought that our peppy Shirley would turn out to be a spin- ster? We were downcast. This cer- tainly is a mighty queer world. Cliff and I prepared ourselves for a surprise and concentrated on Mor- ton Ginsburg. A scene in a Turkish courtyard came before us. We saw Morty under a great bear skin hat slashing away at a group of Turks. I thought that he was doing a solo until I saw Lawson Hill rolling around on the ground trying to ex- tract his head from a brother to Mor- ty's hat and Arthur Weinstein busily slaying the victims of Morty's sword. I I wondered what the fray could be about until I saw Frank White, standing on a wall with his arms folded, looking very much like a Turk, leering at ithe scene with a wicked eye. A multitude of women were ar- ranged in picturesque positions in a nearby garden. Then I decided that Frank must have been hounded so by the women in America that he had been forced to retire to Turkey with a few of his favorites. At last Mor- ty slew his last Turk and dashed into the Harem. He seized a woman tenderly and soon was riding away on a gallant charger with her safe in his arms. I noticed when they passed that the woman was Frances Frazer. Lawson and Arthur had followed suit, rescuing Marjorie Bolio and Evelyn Cossaboon respectively-these lads were still evidently the same gallant fellows they had been in school. The scene faded, but we still had Frank White on our minds and we revived the scene to see if Frank really had had the whole female sec-