Waltham High School - Mirror Yearbook (Waltham, MA)

Page 16 text:

14 THE MIRROR Miss Ober, who has voiced a pref- erence for the Scotch race, is hereby presented a Highland costume, in- cluding imported Scotch bagpipes, and a book of rare Scotch jokes, if such a book can be found. To Miss Cutting and her sewing classes we bequeath a supply of silk parachutes to insure their safety in their little cubby-hole classroom un- der the eves in case the roof should be wafted away by a playful breeze. if Pk Pk 31 For Miss Woodward we have or- dered a dainty steel Robot who will grant her slightest wish by merely whispering in his ear. Not only will he take dictation, typewrite, and cor- rect exams, but also serve as substi- tute teacher while she hurries about the school on various missions. if Pk 21 Pk Mr. Ward, whose forceful speech- es on the most popular American drink, milk-milady's fashions, and the danger in playing bridge have stirred his attentive English classes, will soon enlighten the world on the above-mentioned, for WLEX has re- ceived our order to install a ,micro- phone in Room 14. However, should Mr. Ward continue to wear his Ham- ing red tie to school, this legacy will be struck out by our administrators. 231 P21 all Pk Mr. Hodge's suppressed desire will soon be granted. To him we sympa- thetically leave a class of D pupils, with the hope that the monotony of writing A's and B's will cease to trouble him. This legacy will like- wise be struck from this document if Mr. Hodge should attempt to fright- en his classes next September, as he did our's last fall, by shaving off his moustache. No longer will Mr. Hollis have cause to complain about dish-washing that falls to his lot at school as well as at home. To this long-suffering gentleman we present a portable dish-washing and drying machine that will keep his laboratory utensils spotless. if P21 Pk Pk To Miss Burgess we leave a model studio equipped with a sufficient number of non-shimmying desks and non-skid paint jars, in addition to the promise of a peaceful future minus boys like Roger Wolcott- sweet little boys who will not ever think of bellowing Sonny Boy into the fortunately deaf ear of the plas- ter-cast baby. -I, J, J, xl, -.- -1- -1- fb A recent survey of.Miss Hall's Latin classes revealed the appalling fact that 92 2X3 per cent of her pu- pils were suffering from severe cases of Stretcfzeci-Nec!znfi5, a direct result of the Wfonder-zuh0'5 next disease. If Miss Hall, the indirect cause of this malady will discard her little white cards, we shall take special steps to procure an 'imported bronze sun-dial for her flower garden. . :k nk :fc 2: I A grandfather clock, guaranteed to keep irnPEPtFECT time, is be- queathed to Mr. Goodrich, who will some day experience the thrill, the excitement of being late to school. Because French is such a throat- tickling subject, we leave a life-long supply of cough-drops to Miss Clement, if, however, cough-drops should become hopelessly old-fash- ioned, the above endowment will be declared null and void, and a car- load of those famous coughless cig- arettes will be substituted.

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THE MIRROR 13 The Wi!! of the Clam of 1929 The witching hour, descending up- on the sleeping city of Waltham last night, was marked with a drow- sy, solemn clanging by the bell in t.ie Universalist Church tower. For many weeks the joints of the old high school across the way had squeaked in joyful anticipation of this magic hour, the time that had been set for the re-union of the class spirits. Before the twelfth clang faded into the darkness, flickering lights appeared in the corridors, the silence was broken by the sound of merry voices. Into the deserted class- rooms danced the merry spirits, out into the corridors again, then up the stairs to the assembly hall where they seated themselves in the very places you now are occupying! The Spirit of Waltham High School in her soft, Howing robes of red and white ascended the platform followed by a smaller spirit draped in rose and sand. A hush fell upon the assem- bly as the former stepped forward, raised her hand, and declared the meeting open: Members of the Waltham High School Association of Class Spirits, she announced, before a candidate may become a certified member of our organization, his last VVill and Testament must be drawn up, wit- nessed, and sealed before this as- sembly. We are gathered, therefore, to pass judgment on the Will of Class 1929 The spirit in robes of rose and sand stepped to the pulpit, unfolded a scroll, and began to read: We, the Class of 1929, of the City of Waltham, County of Middlesex, and state of Massachusetts, being of sound mind, memory, and under- standing Qin spite of the numerous doubts that the faculty may have had to the contrary, do make, publish, and declare this to be our last Will and Testament. We hereby revoke all wills, codicils, or testamentary instruments by us at any time hereto- fore made. VVe, therefore, do de- vise and bequeath all our property real and otherwise as follows: To the class of '30, now our inex- perienced Juniors who are so easily puzzled by the intricacies of voting, we hereby present the sacred title, inalienable rights and privileges of this passing class, in addition to an automatic voting machine, guaran- teed to prevent more votes from be- ing cast than members present at fu- ture meetings. 4- eff -1, ef, ,je fp ,js fp We bequeath ten ,barrels of en- couragement to our shy little Sopho- mores to induce them to develop a few A pupils. VVhen their Honor Roll is announced in the future, we hope that Mr. Burke will be forced to take a fifteen-minute rest, during which time his hoarse voice will be restored to its normal, sweet tones. To Mr. Burke, our principal, whom numerous autograph books re- veal to be instructor of spanking, we leave permission to exercise the re- quirements of this position-after we have passed on.

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THE MIRROR 15 We hereby deposit the entire sum in the treasury to the account of Waltham High, with the assurance and confidence that the accumulated interest will purchase a sorely-need- ed new school. , X Pk X X We promise the teachers in the tin garages that the best classrooms in the new school will be reserved for the.n as a reward for their trials in their metal coops. Miss Rand is henceforth promoted to the position of Dramatic Director in the above-mentioned school, with permission to stage her productions in the spacious assembly hall of said building. 1 1 x 1 91 X is 4- Pr A sunny, airy gym is likewise be- queathed to Miss Sewall and Mr. Leary. In addition to the most mod- ern apparatus and shower rooms, we present aforesaid persons with pre- served specimens of splinters gath- ered in the old gym floor. Pk P24 Dk if We leave Alice Cosgrove's desire for snake dances to any one display- ing similar preference, but warn the person interested to purchase apair of non-skid shoes. ' Dk PK P34 X The hero of the Class Play, The Show-Ojjf, bequeathes his monocle, cane, and innumerable special abili- ties to an unsuspecting victim. For Bub Storer's roadster-built- for-two we leave a safety railing to keep Betty from bouncing out. .-, .11 . , .o- .I. ,,. 1 K 1,- Avery Steele is hereby bequeathed permission to marry a tall, blonde miss. P11 254 221 if A barrel of peroxide is, therefore, presented to Olive Buttrick. 221 Pk X Pk To Loretta Gannon we leave a Spanish shawl and a red, red rose. J1 x 1 1 a fs A 2? Pk To the school in general we leave our fostered hopes for a new Wal- tham High School, a building that will be worthy of our wonderful works of art, our carefully selected library, and our teachers. A J. 1, , fp I. :Ex In witness thereof the spirits of previously graduated classes will sign, and seal this instrument as our last Will and Testament, on this twenty-first day of June, in the year of our Lord 1929. L-ei When the reading of the will ended, the class spirits arose from their seats, ascended the platform with their flickering lights, ,and af- fixed their signatures to the docu- ment of their newest member. In the church tower the bell clanged once. The witching hour had passed, and the lights and merry voices dis- appeared. The old school, now de- serted and still, gathered another memory to its dear old heart. RUTH SIROUM