Waltham High School - Mirror Yearbook (Waltham, MA)

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THE MIRROR 25 As I turned around to return from the fire, I bump-ed into Beatrice Annis and Peg Burns who were carrying roller skates and had parachutes strapped to their backs. They were going for an ear- oplane ride with Joe G'Dea and Charlie Cahill and weren't taking any chances of walking home. Having nothing else to do I set out to see the city. I came to a huge edifice, which, on entering, I found to be the public library. At the main desk the li- brarian, who was none other than Doro- thy Murphy, warned me that unless I kept silent the attendant would put me out. I discovered the attendant to be Phil Baineg he was partly hidden under a pile of books and explained that he was looking for book-worn1s to go fish- ing with. At an adjoining table sat Lil- lian Grieg, who seemed to be studying. She informed me that she had settled .down and was taking a course in home- cooking from the Charles Mann corres- pondence school. Leaving the Library I came to a tall dome-shaped building surrounded with towers and a maze of wires. Whom should I meet there but Phil Vlfarren. He told me that I was in the municipal ra- dio station and as he had plenty of spare time, being chief operator, he would show me around. tFirst we entered the studio where Cliff Grr was entertaining the widely spread population with weird strains from Soup, played with variations on an electric piano. The violin obbligato was by Clarence Wheeler while Kingman Smith sang On his big base-viol. The next feature was George Newton Hatfield who had formed a Big Brother Club in Glympia. His secretary Helen Chandler had been swamped with mail all day so her assistant Clara Bagley read the list of new members which included such familiar names as Thorning Hardy, Glive Jaynes, Edith Edgcomb, and Francis Mc- Namara. Newt. then announced that he would read a chapter from the life of Dorman Hayes, the Daniel Webster of Olympia. VVe then visited the transmitting room where Newell Havener and Garfield An- derson were engaged in repairing a trans- mitter which had been broken a few days before when Dorothy Smith, a prominent woman dentist, had attempted to give a lecture on extracting teeth from the mouth of a river. After leaving the radio station, as I walked along the main street, II was startled, however, by a voice crying junk, I turned and recognized the owner of the voice as Eddie Collins. He informed me that he had gone into the junking business because it was picking u . PI continued on my way, soon coming to a massive structure. I went in and found that I had entered 'the federal building, the seat of the government in Glympia. On the first Hoor, near the entrance, I saw a charming young lady masticating chicle rapidly and seated be- hind a desk marked Information I walked over to her and found that it was none other than Louise McCullough. She was delighted to see me again, and, as I remembered that she always had a great deal to talk about, I stopped to chat for a while. I learned from her that practic- ally all the governing in the city was done by women. Being somewhat upset by this statement, I asked her the reason for this rapid rise of the feminine sex to pow- er. Her reply was that they had lost all faith in masculine officials when Grrin VVinn, the last mayor, had granted Mil- ton Stinehour a permit to keep pigs with- in the city limits. She further informed me that on the top floor I could find the offices of the mayoress and her assist- ants. I immediately jumped into an elevator run by Ruth Mace who said that she did- n't see why people needed to go up in elevators anyhow when they only had to come back down again. Nevertheless I was whisked up to the top Hoor where I found an office boy asleep at his desk with a big burlap bag tied over his head. I aroused him from his slumbers by bang- ing on the desk. VVhen the bag was re- moved I discovered that he was Saro Campesi. NVhen I asked him what the bag was for, he pointed over his should- er and said that it was the only way he could get any rest with those two chattering all the time. I looked in the directio-n of the two and saw Elta G'Brien and Stacia Valely, two more or less busy stenographers, engaged in argu- ing whether O'Brien was a name of Celtic or Gallic origin.

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24 THE lvtlRROR while experimenting with the rotating of the F. dimension, or something like that, that the Olympians had caused the whole class of 1925 fexcepting myselfl which had been at that very moment holding a reunion on Prospect Hill, to leave Earth and fall on Olympia. As the experiment could not be reversed, my class mates had been obliged to remain. The Olympians had received them into their society, taught them new things. and helped them found a colony. I had arrived on this new world by a repeti- tion of this same experiment. IVhen I asked Bob how they had been able to converse with the Olympians, he said that no language was necessary because the Olympians carried on all communi- cation by transmission of thought. On looking over the side of the plane, I saw that we were approaching a huge city of white, well-matched buildings, situated by the side of a large lake. On the outskirts of the city was a great field, surrounded by enormous barn-like struc- tures, and dotted here and there with aer- oplanes. Evidently we were to land there, for Bob turned off the motor and the great fbird glided downward. NVe struck the ground with a slight bump and rolled swiftly past a huge bulk to which my companion threw a rope. As the plane came to a sudden stop, the bulk disentangled itself from the rope and came towards us. It was Eric Is- aacson. He told me that as the planes were not built large enough to occom- modate him comfortably, he was em- ployed as landing ballastf Bob then ex- cused himself and hurried away as he said that he had an appointment with Phil Dubin, who was selling gold bricks for building purposes. I started to walk towards the city alone, but I had not gone far before a small, ramshackle automobile, whose rightful place was in a museum, drew up beside me. In the front seat I recognized Mike Marshall and Squeak Pierce. Af- ter shaking hands heartily they told me that having just bought the car from Rudden and Kearsley, promising dealers in worn-out automobiles, they had gone on a fishing trip. Although they had not caught any fish, they said that they had picked one up on the road. Sure enough-there was Bud Donahue in the back seat.I jumped in and we started for town. IVith Marshall pushing the car up hill and Pierce chas- ing it down hill, we made pretty good time. XYe entered the city and stopped be- fore a huge white building. Donahue told me that it was the court of justice, and invited me to go in with him as he was a witness in the case being tried. I entered and took a seat near the door. Alton March was pleading in a loud voice for the culprit, Irving Lohnesg but words seemed to have no effect on the stern- faced judge, whom I recognized as Carl Mullen. It seems that Irve, while sipping tea with Nigel Pattershall in the Parrot Tea- room, which was run by Bertha Pollay and Doris Dickey, had been seized by a fit of jealous rage because Nigel had beaten him at a game of checkers. In his wrath Lohnes had thrown a sugar bowl at Nigel, but had missed and had hit Elma Davis, a waitress, on the head. Bertha was suing Irve for breaking the sugar bowl. The jury, headed by Roy Petrie, was about to deliver its verdict when I was aroused by cries fire out in the street. I rushed from the building and looking over head saw the aerial fire department winging its way to a house a few blocks away, from which belched clouds of smoke. Even before the plane had half landed in the street an excited individual, whom I recognized as Paul Linthwaite jumped out and rushed into the building. I reached the place just in time to hear Paul say disgustedly, False alarm! It was only Honus Hicks and Dick Sut- ton enjoying their after-dinner pipe. I walked up to Paul as he started back for the plane. He informed me that after following his natural inclination, fires, for several years, he had finally been ap- pointed Chief of the Bull Durham fire department. His friends had generously presented him with a handsome pair of red flannel Ear Muffs. He had sworn in Fred Nies and NValter Brown as Deputy Chiefsg but as Fred was having his hair marcelled at Bernice Glycartys Beauty Parlor, and as Brownie had sprained his back trying to lift one of Bernard IfVolf's shoes, he had been obliged to fight fires alone for the time being.

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26 THE Instead of staying tohear the argu- ment I was ushered by Saro into a spa- cious office where I was pleasantly sur- prised by finding Ruth James. the mayor- ess-elect, dictating her official announce- ment to Bill Bailey, her private secre- tary. They were exceedingly glad to see me and Bill made me promise to attend a performance at George Morris' theatre later in the clay. I promised him that I would and then went away to look around a bit. In an adjoining office I found Doris lohnson, the Commissioner of Police. XYhile I was visiting her Leslie Talbot. a husky police woman. dragged in a cul- prit whom I recognized as Rollin Fer- nald. She reported that he was a baker, and that she had caught him in the act of stealing currants from the battery of Dorothy Delesdernieris automobile. Dor- is warned the prisoner to pick his cur- rants from the ocean the next time he had need of them, and then discharged him. I then bade them good-day and contin- ued on my tour of the building. After walking down a flight of stairs I came to the state research laboratory. I entered and found Donald Pattershall and Herbert johnson bossing around a couple of millions of atoms. I-Ierb. was making a molecule roll over while Don had a line of atoms dancing in ballet for- mation. After watching them for awhile I went along. At a bench not far away Esther Kimball was experimenting with various liquids and solids. She told me that she had succeeded in inventing a synthetic sugar with only one fault-it wasn't sweet. I suppose that didn't mat- ter as long as it was sugar. As I decided that I had seen enough of this building. I returned to the street and noticed over a large building the sign Mac Cleaves and I-Iodgson. Scien- tific Boxers. I went over expecting to enter a gymnasium. but found that the former pugilists were conducting an un- dertaking establishment. Further down the street after stopping at the Clifton and Cataldo one-arm lunch for a sandwich, I came to the office of the Olympian Star, a newspaper edited by Ture Lundell. As I entered, Ture grasp- eIDmy hand and asked me to sit down and visit for awhile. I seated myself and IVHRROR watched the confusion going on about me.. I-Ielen NYilbur and Louise NVayland, star reporters. were so busy punching the keys of their typewriters that they did- n't notice that there wasn't any paper in the machines. Doris Thompson, the as- sistant editor, rushed about, gathered up a copy, and sent it into the press room. Across the room I noticed XYalter john- sen, the sporting editor, busily engaged in pounding out an account of an excit- ing base-ball game. in which Ray Tier- ney's hustling bunch of Bull Throwersv had defeated Al Contant's crafty 'fCow Catchers' for the championship prize of Dlympia, a folding rubber row boat, gen- erously offered by Dennis Cronin, a sec- ond .ludge Landis. Soon a grimy indi- vidual covered with printers ink. whom I recognized as Clarence Isaacson, brought in a copy of the latest edition. The first page seemed to have much to do with my unexpected arrival in Olym- pia. As that did not interest me, I turned to the items of local interest-to see if by chance I could find any news of some of my old friends. Sure enough-There I read that Bob Muzzy had grown so large from eating grape-nuts that he felt embarrassed ev- ery time he went into a telephone booth. Further on I saw that Mary Pepper was working for the weather bureau analyz- ing the four seasons,-salt, sugar, mus- tard. and catsup. In another column I found that Dorothy Stewart and Marion Rimmele had left their positions as tele- phone operators to work as seamstress- es in the gown shop of Patten and Patten. Down in a corner of the page I noticed an advertisement which stated that Ruth Storer and Rita I-Ialleran solicited pupils to attend their combined dancing and physical culture classes. Another ad in- formed me that Nathan Canter, a pros- perous customs tailor, wanted three or four young women to sew buttons on the first floor of the Mercantile building. A few pages further on the glaring type in- formed me that, after years of courtship, Ed Moran and Ruth Holmes had been united in marriage by the Reverend Charles E. Chase: Evelyn Thompson and Edith Swanson being the attendants. After thoroughly perusing Norman Coodells page of comic cartoons I re-