Waltham High School - Mirror Yearbook (Waltham, MA)

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PROPH ECY fiourishing suburb of a great city of the middle of the twentieth century, and I rec- ognized in the green outlines the growing city of VValtham. The season was about the beginning of summer, when the noisy bees in the bright, blossoming gardens vie with each other in their errands of diligence, and tirelessly chant their nasal refrains on frugality and husbandry. XVith buoyant spirits and with footsteps lighter than Day, too happy for artificial aid, I stretched my ambulatory segments and at- tacked the city by a most circuitous route. I was amply repaid for my pains: for as I approached the city in the course of the North VVind, a series of explosions shocked my ears. I stepped back and scanned the horizon. Many stone-throw's distant, bath- ing his feet in the Cambridge XVater Basin and sitting on the rocky crest of Prospect Hill, was our lofty and respected president, james Frederic VVright Clark. Exuberant at the sight of one sympathetic mortal, he churned the rocky waters in delight. He smiled from ear to ear, and modulated these words in his cupped hands: Oh dear and long lost brother, welcome back to our midst! The way of the world is hard, but the weight of the icemen is worse. Rejoice in your heart, and all is well. Cf course, such an inquisitive individual as I could not refrain from asking foolish questions. He was in the employ of the Edison Electric Light Company, making light of bad matters. Wfhat these bad mat- ters were he did not say, but I could easily imagine. He had put Atlas out of business by standing on his earthen pedestal and shoving the sky up several hundred feet, and that poor worthy had died between sor- row and joy at the loss of his life-long oc- cupation. Of course, this was a rare streak of luck for the undertakers, but a poor day for Frederic. Henceforth Frederic must support the sky which, indeed, left him little enough to support a family. He had displayed his aggressive and enterprising disposition by making a corner on the sun for his employers, which, al- though it severely burned his thumb and forefinger, made a fortune for his firm. Fred didn't stop to take the shells off the peanuts! No!! He could easily clean out a bakery at one sitting. But he could at a pinch be appeased by such articles as apple- trees and the like. Of the first he would spit out the roots which, being chewed up fine, made excellent kindling wood, while animals he ate much as we eat apples, spit- ting out the skin at each mouthful. He was the terror of aeronauts, from whose ma- chines he would eat the wings and whom, to their great alarm, he would drop from some fabulous height to certain, sudden death, only to save them by sticking out his leg to watch them slide down his shin and glide off his big to-e, for like the great Gunga Din of yore, a twisty piece of rag and a goat-skin water-bag was all the field equip- ment 'e could find that was anyway near big enough. The reason for his great size, he said, was a slight mistake he had made when back in the high school while trying to find out what Hydrogen Sulph-ate. XVith his peculiar guttural .sounds he directed me to every member of our glorious class and promised me his well-wishes and even as- sistance. Thrice he spat lustily upon his hands and anointed my head with the same. A strange power came over me and I was able to render myself either visible or invisible as desire and necessity came upon me. Light of heart and limb I ad- vanced and turned my attention to our charming secretary and treasurer. There she sat in the chimney-corner in a ripe, old age, or rather in a rocking chair worn out with old age, her cheeks glowing in the light and heat of a smouldering fire, also, perhaps, in the excitement obtained from dashing off harmless-looking little notes en- titled, Class of 1912, Dr., Szoof' If your name was on it, blush, but blushing won't

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Prophecy of the Class of 1912 0 the casual observer it must seem pathetic, exasperating and embarras- sing that I, a humble and a peaceful citizen, should insolently vaunt myself the most sensible person along the entire course of the river Charles, and immediately thereafter i aver my immaculate modesty. Nevertheless, these are factsg and I facts have proof. Un the thirteenth instant of this preceding month, the mighty Charles turn- ed over in his bed. All Vlfaltham was shaken by the shock. But, I hum- bly assert and do sol- emnly attest that I, and I only, was sensible to the shock, and that I only was consciously shocked, although it is asserted that at some time between the hours of twelve and one that night, as the water began to flow up instead of down the dam, the machinery of the Boston Manufacturing Company, which by the way is run by wateri- power, did for a while go backwards, and instead of turning out the usual woolen stuffs, turned out instead lambs, with the first letter slightly modified. It is also said that at about this time the Compasses of the good ship Hercules did for a while point every which way, but this I ascribe more to the violent somnambulistic delusions which Captain Cobb was about this time under- going than to the disturbance of the water. He was stealing bases in the Newton game. But how, why, or wherefore I sho-uld be abroad at this ghastly hour is not for the vulgar ken and inquiring looks of men. Sufhce to say, here I was, with the stiff, bending rows of artificial lights receding into the distance and the prancing ripples playfully reliecting the cream-like effusion of my stern light. Irresistibly I dangled my hand in the mellow waters. The boat waved gently up and do-wn, for that ever efficient and sufficient body, known as the Illetropolitan Park Commission, were in- dustriously engaged in dredging a grape-arbor in the cemetery. I glid- ed softly on. Then- horrible d i c t u - th e above mentioned shock occurred, and a most horrible prodigy pre- sented itself to my eyes. As sometimes a muddy stream cleaves the bank of a snow-white course and pollutes this stream with its sluggish waters, my hand destroyed the sparkling purity of our delightful Charles. At this ominous sight a terrible faintness overcame me while the all-sympa- thetic eyes of heaven twinkled in silent mirth at my most child-like horror. Then my hand and eyes were overcome by an indescribable itching and smarting and I was compelled to rub them. No sooner had my dripping hand lent its moisture to my burning eye-balls than a blinding flash al- most destroyed my vision. Even now when I stare at the starry heavens, a bright glare stretches across the sky, and it still strange- ly affects my eyes to stare at the sun. Then gradually the glaring blindness was swept away from my eyes and the bright light seemed to melt into the form of a

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PROPHECY ever get the class a red cent. At her dainty feet lay a half finished manuscript entitled, BarryCersj Burst Away, or Moody's Glooin in a Gloomy Moodf' and Prom- enading as a FINE Art. Here she was after a somewhat turbulent passage on Life's uncertain course. She still retained her ro-sy cheeks and genial smile which was wont to broaden into a grin as she told of a certain little notice appearing on the board in Room 19: If Jack Frost paid his class dews, would Jeannette Daboll ? But there is money in our midst. Law- rence says there is great money in Al-hens. Verily, we believe you, Lawrence, but bad news, like bad eggs, should be broken gently. Pst! Lawrence, Rachel Sawyer! By the way, Claribel and Lawrence are en- gaged in the production of hens and hen- kind out on Bacon street, where Allen is continually startling the world with his strange discoveries. Qnly yesterday he an- nounced that he had found a yoke of oxen in a hard boiled egg. Notice that we say hard bo-iled, for we had quite an argu- ment with Lawrence over the same, and finally arrived at the conclusion that a hardly boiled egg is not the required result. But for the benefit of history in general let me state that Lawrence always preferred teacher's understudying to studying under teachers. And Warren, too, had other Ames. The youngest died last week, leaving one soli- tary aim-self destruction. He said it was because he couldn't make Alice VVheelerg but then, we don't know. Perhaps you thought Alice was intended for another! But this is as we found them, and sew is so and fairs are fouls, if you didn't see the umpire last. And what became of Fred Stearns, you ask! Oh! after breaking the Edison record for distinct speaking into a phonograph horn, Fred accepted an import- ant diplomatic position in Turkey, and was finally adopted by the Kaliph. As he found this life very congenial, he settled down there and wrote several exhausting treatises on Shakespeare. Now for Alfred Paul Behrman, that worthy who, it is asserted by one of our illustrious contemporaries, attained his highest degree of development at the age of fourteen and thenceforth lived in a state of child-like innocence. True to his nature, disposition and inclination, boys will be boys and Alfy is Alfy. VVhen I saw him he was in the same old business. He was running a nursery. He was, however, at that time making a specialty of Geometries and Ambushes. He said there was money in both, and of course I believed him. But we always suspected Alfy of medical in- clinations: he was such a good German. But that was probably spoiled by sitting so near that Brackett. Richard, by the way, was enjoying the sweet distinction of being the lirst Speaker of the House from Wal- tham. His famous speech to the School Board denouncing the study of Latin in the public schools is now read all over the country, and Richard with his fetching smile and manly tread is Speaker of the House-er, that is, he is supposed to be. But you can imagine how much Richard would say with Louise Taylor in the same House. Lucy, too, had gathered world- wide note in her famous fight for the quart- measure, abolition of drying towels, and by her third oration asking how much the im- provement of our water-ways. But still the end is not always governed at the start. Take Richard Burckes, for in- stance. Although he was always good at making faces, who ever suspected such an inattentive, mischievous scamp as Dicky of making watches. But perhaps it was through -the second virtue, for, as his card signified, we found him as Richard Burckes, Vice-president, XValtham XVatch Company. And speaking of Burckes, reminds one of Biscuits Hazel was president of the fa- mous Elysium Club, an amalgamation of live, whose roll embraced Hazel Elizabeth