Waltham High School - Mirror Yearbook (Waltham, MA)

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bachelor's touring car. Glancy waited until the refreshment hour and then told his plan. The irresistible argument and eloquence of l1is speech will never be forgotten 3 your children study it now in place of Burke's Conciliation Speech . Briefly, his plan was this : the class of '09 was so superior to the rest of the Ameri- cans that it was wrong for them to have to mingle with the vulgar herdn. Glancy had found the Garden of Eden. where every inch of the land was fertile, and where the hills abounded in minerals and precious stones. He proposed that the class go there, establish a government, and live in peace and plenty forever after. Everybody, except Ed Cooper, was delighted with the idea, and it was decided to go then and there. Cooper, at that time reform candidate for mayor of Wayland, said that it wouldn't do at all, but did not give any reasons for his objection. Of course, some had suggestions to make. Mrs. George Lewis, the widow of a former Harvard man, moved that they have woman suffrage. None of the other girls had life enough to second the motion, but Phil Hawley, who had been asleep, suddenly woke up, and, seeing that some motion had been made, seconded it with such prestige, it simply had to go through. After Ben Ela had been elected President and Agnes Rhodes, Vice-presi- dent, the memorable meeting adjourned. By the next summer, the government was established, and the class of '09 was the Be- public of Edin. From this point on, I shall make the history more biographical, for, as Carlyle says, f'Biography is the most universally pleasant and prohtable of all reading. Ben Ela, the man from Charles street, is still President, mainly because of good looks and woman suffrage. Most. of his time is spent in taking vacations and writing poetry. Agnes Rhodes decided, after her first term, that she wanted a more strenuous ,job than that of Vice- presideut, and declined reelection. Since then, she has made herself famous by her lectures on Buoyancy of Spirit, When, Where, and How to Gigglef' and The Art of Being Popular. Majorie Hartwell succeeded Agnes as Vice-president, and has graced that position ever since, her former experience standing her in good stead. She is President of the Senateg anyone desiring the fioor has to wink, and if Marjorie winks back, all right, if not he's dished.,' The Secretary of State is Paul Bartel, and the fact that there has never been the least sign of trouble with any outside power is convincing proof of his skill. He, however, is a very sad man since he found that a certain girl didn't want to be called Florence Bartel. She, it seems, didn't care for Paul at all. Alice Cone is watch dog,-excuse me, Secretary, of the Treasury and she is such an able keeper that it has not been found necessary even to put the money of the state in vaults. Many a citizen has said that he would rather starve to death than to be a day late with his taxes. An important oflicer of the government is Irving Richardson, Secre- tary of Agriculture. Most of his time is spent in chasing farmers off the hillsides, and Hirting with his two assistants, Elsie and Laura Silman. The romantic, autocratic, energetic Speaker of the House is Alice Merrill Lewis. Clancy is leader ofthe opposition. To a visitor, one of the most interesting sights of Eden is the resplendant figure of Major-General Boynton, com mander-in-chief of the volunteer militia, the best drilled army in the world. A favorite form of entertainment at social functions is a drill by Boyntonis famous squad of three privates. Of the city officers, the most famous is Chief of Police King, better known as Karl Konig. As a result of the efforts of Ed Cooper, drinking and smoking are prohibited in Eden, and it is safe to say that King has not allowed a drop of liquor or an ounce of tobacco to escape con- fiscation in all the time that he has been chief, although no one seems to know what becomes of it after he takes it. He is given a good deal of trouble by girls, who like ull Penreroso , 7

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are fond of the moonlight. The two that bother him most persistently, Ada Bailey and Addie Stevens, have been at these tricks ever since they went to Washington in 1909, if not before. However, the city has an excellent criminal record. Only one arrest has been made, and the guilty party, Marion Bingay, was placed on probation. She was accused of stealing time by working twenty-five hours a day. The celebrated lady sleuth, Alice Kelly, is head of the Secret Service Bureau. Let me give an example of her work that puts anything of Sherlock Holmes's in the shade. One dark night, she actually succeeded in following the trail of Otis Berry and Mabel Johnson into the country and taking a fiashlight photograph of them on the branch of a cherry tree without their knowledge. The city has an excellent educational department. Annabel Carter is the Superintendent of Schools, and a more able one it would be hard to find. The superintendent's private secre- tary is Ruth Paul. The principal of the high school is Alice Wellcome, who also has charge of the declamations. The teacher of physical culture is Addie Stevens and the teacher of Latin is Meriam Wellington. As there is no Piety Corner in Eden, the high school has an athletic field. The coach of the football team, which is the champion team ol the world, is Melvin Bradbury. Melvin is also a well-known and strenuous politician. The most important of the private corporations is the Eden Gas and Hot Air Trust, of which Raymond Wigmore is president. Another big concern is Bartlettfs Airship, Automo- bile and Motor Boat Factory, where the help have to work only two hours a day. By special permission from Chief Konig, they are given a smoking room in which they can spend the remainder of the day. The manager of the telephone exchange is Jimmie Faden. With the exception of Getchell, Jimmie is the only bald-headed man in Eden. Getcbell kept company with so many girls when in school that he had no hair when he entered Eden. Jimmie lost his his by inventing an automatic exchange. When the hello girls, Ada Bailey, Bessie Carroll and, Maude Stanley, found that they were to lose their jobs, they became angry and pulled his hair' out. The largest store in Eden is Jordan's Big Dry Goods Department Store. Let me cite an excellent example of the way in which he does business. His men's hosiery display, and it is a magniticient one, has been completely changed every day for the past ten years. Then, too, a great amount of his success is due to his head salesgirls, Ruby Fleming and Barbara .Dennen. Barbara and Ruby take more than ordinary interest in the business. Just to help George along, and incidentally, it made Marion so jealous that she cut him, they give a ,free concert in the store every Saturday night. Ruby renders the latest popular airs vocally from the ribbon counter, while Barbara accompanies her on the piano. Edwin Smith's drug store is the largest of its kind in the city. The loudness of his dress attracts people from blocks around, they buy soda checks, and then, unable to stand the noise behind the counter, go out-, leaving the soda untouched. In the same building is the photographic studio of the Misses Lemont and Rowe. Faden poses here once a month regularly, and Smith and Parker would like to, but the office door is locked whenever they are heard coming, to save having the camera insured. The leading dressmaker is Marjorie Braman, whose princess and sheath gowns have made Paris a bankrupt city. Margaret Mullen is a milliner, Once, when the city needed a new reservoir, they bought one of her hats, and found it plenty large enough. Levi Clark married Gladys Drew shortly after coming to Eden, and now they run a big chicken farm. Albion Davis, the man from Missouri, runs a big produce farm. He has an evaporated peach orchard, a banana path, and a strawberry grove. Fannie Cutler is proprietress of a home bakery. One of the best known places in Eden is Mrs. Virginia Vasco Bayard's hash- 8