Walt Whitman Junior High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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THE TIM MACHINE' The people called me mad.That's why they put me here. I could have done wonders for the scientific world if only given half the chance. But no one would listen to me. They told me to go away and bother someone else. Even as a boy I invented great things. When I was eighteen years old, I invented a super-duper atomic roach-pulver- izer. But when I tried to sell it, peopled laughed and told me to go back to my playpen. just a few months ago while I was working on my newest idea, a serum to cure the common cold, my laboratory caught fire. I ran out just before it exploded and ruined an entire block of buildings. It was then the police picked me up. They put me in that prison which slyly goes under the name of NMelvin Coutropsky Institute for the Mentally Handicappedn. That's right! They think I'm mad! For a man of my intelligence and abilities, the type of treat- ment I received there was very humiliating and degrading. Each time I told them I was Dr.Rudyard Oliver Browning, world famous inventor, poet, scientist, etc., etc., they said, HSure, sure, and this guy's Napoleon, and that fellow's Julius Caesarin In fact, I myself was beginning to think I was mad and that's why I had to make my escape. The one good thing about the Institution was the electricity shop where I built the machine which got me out. No, it wasn't an atomic ray-gun or a hydrogenicdriU. No, it wasn't a rocket ship either, but a small compact box I called the HBrowning Automatic Bra Eradi- catorn. Translation - A TimeMachine What's that you ask? You think 1f'S impossible for me to have built a time machine? Well, I'm not one to admit failure, but I will admit 42 UC yoj, 1 HD' YXHCHKNE was in its development- al stage. That is, I didn't know if it would work. But how else was I to find out unless I tested it? The only thing I knew about it was that it would only work twice: once to get me there and once to get me back. But I was confident.I wouldn't have to return, so that part did not matter. Let's see, the day I completed it was December l6,l96O. The next day was as good as any to take leave and so I did. I woke up at 6:45 the next morn- ing--ready for my adventure. I pressed the buttons--I felt drowsy and dizzy. I woke up. But where was I? It looked like some kind of large ship. I went over to someone and asked, NSay, old boy, where am I?U Hwhat do you mean? Where am I? You're on the good ship Titanic, the unsinkable vessel, the greatest of them all! Where am I? he says,n

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TWO ESSAYS by AIICB Graifer ...i.... V - --Q-.....-o--.-.1-A T WINTER MADNESS y - r . a , , kai- XX K., ,Q .vii-t1Q I The white, velvety, and seeming- 'N- ,WRX -M ly harmless snow can transform it- ,-,,..,- - Q, m i self into a piercing needle. As .pf x f V fate would have it,the Devil receivw -aigggl: gf .- ed his due on a frosty, nipping 1 'R,sffhf Q noon-hour in a school neighborhood 'X ,agp of uniform tranquility. QQ F g me . m If this story were a fairytale, -'f11f- S '--.. X af-Sf' p -q f' w it would be proper for its author I fy ajgug f to state that the victim was inno- ......ri, ,.r-. ---rear -fuss V 1 cently walking along when she re- ceived her unjust dessert. Such was not the case. On one of my dai- ly quests for excitement the group didn't merely happen to stray over to the adjacent street. Not wishing to be excluded from an innocent ice ball fight that lads were engaging in,the girls literally flung right in. Suddenly, and naturally without warning, stars seemed to shoot and meteors to glare as the Devil's purpose became apparent. As the ice plummeted within an inch of my eye, an ear-piercing scream reverbera- ting came from my lusty lungs.After the initial shock wore off, the stinging pain proved only to cause the formation of a perfect mouse around the bruised eye. This start- ling, painful experience also serv- ed to teach its black-eyed victim a lesson. The perpetration of this deed did not go unpunished. News of the incident reached the ears of the school officials, and it was dealt with accordingly. vt-ki' THE TRUTH ABOUT BOYS It seems to me most strange that men should be considered the better half. The members of the supposed Hstrongern sex are terribly egotis- tical, wheedling, and usually suc- cessful in achieving their aims.My experience as a man-killer has been fairly limited as I have just reach- ed the tender age of thirteen-and- one-half. If only these Adonises did not have such Hnarcissusn com- plexes about themselves! The continentals that they some- how manage to climb into, do not do their flabby or number eleven figures any justice. Despite the sham that males put on to try to hide their boyishness, it somehow manages to evidence it- self in the little things that they say say and do. This devilish spir- it will grow as they grow. Let's hope they're not too tall. To put it bluntly, though, with- out them, what would little girls do? 'ki-ul' 41

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and he walked away. I stood there frozen. I looked at my watch. If was five minutes past eight!! According to history, the Titanic was supposed to hit that fateful iceberg in seven minutes! what should I do? I wondered. I still had my time machine. I could go back to the Institution or I could take a chance and find myself in another time and place. I decided to take the chance. After a11,what could be worse then disaster on the Titanic. I ran out on deck and pressed the buttons and began getting drowsy and dizzy. I woke up in a sunny port. It looked as if I were in China or Japan from the way the people looked and dressed. I stood up. I knew my time machine was no good anymorefit could be used only twiceij so I threw it in the lake. Then I approached a man on deck. NGood morning,H I said cheerfully HHow do you do,H he answered. I asked as calmly as I could? Nwhere am 1 and what is the date?' nwhere are you?Uhe repeated, nwell the date is August 6,1945.The time is 9:12 A.M. and you are in Hiroshima, Japan.H It was then I fainted for I knew that in exactly three minutes I would find myself inevitably dead. For in three minutes the United States would drop the deadliestbomb ever used on the city in which I was standing. And so, Mr.Ange1, that is how I met my end. What is your verdict? UReport to cloud 347. There youU1 get your wings and harp. Oh, by the wayg it's nice to have you here. Welcomein Stephen Sidorsky 43