Walt Whitman Junior High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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THEI WORLD'S Rxcngasr ITEENAGER Here I am the world's richest teenager preparing my last will and testament. It all happened so sud- denly. Mater called me down from the attic where I was studying my col- lection of rare meteorites and com- ets. In our dining room sat a repast of caviar and champagne. I remember the day well because Pater decreas- ed my allowance to 987 dollars a week. I was trying to drown my dis- appointment in champagne. Because six of our seven cooks had quit, Mater was upset. She bustled around with a worried look. I got on her nerves by trying to calm her. She yelled at me bluntly and said, nwhy don't you vamoose and leave me alonef I'll pay for your expenses.n My limousine was waiting outside, H1961 Rollsn, of course. But since my chauffeur was ill, I , myself, got behind the whee1.'First I head- ed for the stock market and bought 19,000 shares of A.T. and T. and 900 shares of T.N.T. On my way I U 0 , 0 X. X ffl . g X I .A A I 1 ho! , 4- .' H .iggsxi iigisaiix Q ggi WS - Jg .- naqxie ,I on Xsy- . ,o l 5. ,Q.ffb5'AIg, 40 bought Mater a present, an ermine coat with a mink collar. I spent more than I expected, S467,999. At the market I met Carbuncle, my seventeenth cousin, who is the fami- ly skinflint. He insisted I dine with him and I immediately accepted. I had already eaten but I cou1dn't pass up his treating me. As we head- ed toward the Wa1dorfT'I asked him what he was doing at the stock mar- ket. HNone of your blasted business? he snapped. I could not understand his sudden contempt. After thesnack I decided I had enough of his com- pany. So, I bid him farewell. But in my hurry to keep moving, I unwittingly stepped on the gas and crashed into a tree. I got away with a few broken bones and a slight concussion. Mater thoughtit best if I went to Europe to recu- perate. Mater, all excited, insis- ted that I take along my new solid diamond luggage set with gold trim, three butlers, three cooks, a chauf- feur,and my Rolls Royce. I bought outright the French liner, La Paris, Caccommodations had to be the bestbl The voyage to Europe was very pleasant. When I arrived in Paris,I bought a small but attractive villa in the suburbs. After a good night's rest, I went to see Pater's coal mine in Montmartre to find out how things were. As I entered the mine, the foreman invited me on an inspeo tion tour. The corridors were long and winding and soon I wanted to turn back. But I found myself alone and lost. First I kept calm. I knew there would be a search! But it was hours later that they found me. I had blacked out. Here I am in the hospi- tal again. The doctors have given me up as hopeless. MY only comfort is that Mater, Pater, and Carbuncle, my seventeenth cousin, are at my bedside to help perform the last rites! Neil Tereno

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,fsff narrowed the on the earth. Aram, the leader, de- cides that the three hundred must go underground. They dig, a matter of life and death, and find safety in a shallow pit protected by a cave. eband The men, women, and children experience their most anxious momems as ice crunches overhead. The ice has completely encircled the earth. ln the pit, to the surprise of the imprisoned multitude, there seems to be plenty of oxygen. A crack in the ice miraculously feeds an air supply. Now men, women, and children ex- plore the pit. They discover a huge cavern, miles long. The cavern is an underground utopia where animals, plants, rivers, and good soil for Xxx Thousands of years go by and the descendants of these people thrive in the cavern. They have developed a remarkable civilization. One day the cavern shudders with earthquakes. A volcano pushes its wav through the surface. Flowing lava kills the underground inhabi- tants. A young man and woman alone survive. They climb to a summit to save themselves as the lava flows into the cavern. Before them lie the rocks, the sea,and a blue sky. Now they walk through still meadows and lovely orchards. They do not know that future generations will call the place they have discovered The Garden' of Eden , and will re- member them as NAdamN and UEveN. Elliot Norse raising crops abound. 39

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TWO ESSAYS by AIICB Graifer ...i.... V - --Q-.....-o--.-.1-A T WINTER MADNESS y - r . a , , kai- XX K., ,Q .vii-t1Q I The white, velvety, and seeming- 'N- ,WRX -M ly harmless snow can transform it- ,-,,..,- - Q, m i self into a piercing needle. As .pf x f V fate would have it,the Devil receivw -aigggl: gf .- ed his due on a frosty, nipping 1 'R,sffhf Q noon-hour in a school neighborhood 'X ,agp of uniform tranquility. QQ F g me . m If this story were a fairytale, -'f11f- S '--.. X af-Sf' p -q f' w it would be proper for its author I fy ajgug f to state that the victim was inno- ......ri, ,.r-. ---rear -fuss V 1 cently walking along when she re- ceived her unjust dessert. Such was not the case. On one of my dai- ly quests for excitement the group didn't merely happen to stray over to the adjacent street. Not wishing to be excluded from an innocent ice ball fight that lads were engaging in,the girls literally flung right in. Suddenly, and naturally without warning, stars seemed to shoot and meteors to glare as the Devil's purpose became apparent. As the ice plummeted within an inch of my eye, an ear-piercing scream reverbera- ting came from my lusty lungs.After the initial shock wore off, the stinging pain proved only to cause the formation of a perfect mouse around the bruised eye. This start- ling, painful experience also serv- ed to teach its black-eyed victim a lesson. The perpetration of this deed did not go unpunished. News of the incident reached the ears of the school officials, and it was dealt with accordingly. vt-ki' THE TRUTH ABOUT BOYS It seems to me most strange that men should be considered the better half. The members of the supposed Hstrongern sex are terribly egotis- tical, wheedling, and usually suc- cessful in achieving their aims.My experience as a man-killer has been fairly limited as I have just reach- ed the tender age of thirteen-and- one-half. If only these Adonises did not have such Hnarcissusn com- plexes about themselves! The continentals that they some- how manage to climb into, do not do their flabby or number eleven figures any justice. Despite the sham that males put on to try to hide their boyishness, it somehow manages to evidence it- self in the little things that they say say and do. This devilish spir- it will grow as they grow. Let's hope they're not too tall. To put it bluntly, though, with- out them, what would little girls do? 'ki-ul' 41