Wainwright High School - Black and Gold Yearbook (Wainwright, Alberta Canada)

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A View Of The Old And The New By Elmer Tory Where Wainwright now stands, there was once a large lake- (A remnant still exists) On one side of the water lived Chief “Stuck-in-the-Muck” and his little son “Squirt-in-the-Dirt”. They hunted buffalo with bows and arrows made from beaver bone and shoe laces. Every day at sunrise the chief sped across the prairie on his horse, “Share the Ride”. Every night at sunset, he carried his steed back home on his shoulders. If hunting had been good he carried a buffalo too. Across the lake lived Mud-in-Your-Eye” and his beautiful daughter, Princess “Babe-with-Curves-makem-Wolf-Howl”. This chief was the owner of a company which manufactured a com¬ bination pipe of peace and tomahawk, scientifically combined on the basis of years of careful experimenting in smoking and scalp¬ ing. (No other tomahawk or pipe making company could make this claim.) But let us look in on this locality 200 years later. How things have changed! The weather is fine because the scientists have been splitting atoms for heat. (If it gets too hot, they will put them back together again). Robots are careening about the streets, shopping for their masters. Inside a large house, the family is eating a magnificent meal consisting of coffee capsules, potato pills, tomato tablets, and dessert drops. The little son and his visitor from Venus are arguing about which is the better planet. The father has a sad face because his “Earth to Mars” Taxi Company has not been doing much business lately because people prefer longer trips- Thus we leave the family hoping that they don’t get indigestion from eating too much. How times have changed, imagine Chief “Stuck-in—the-Muck” getting his buffal o from tiny capsules or the man of the future scalping his enemy with a combination pipe of peace and tomahawk. 49

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Can You Imagine 1. The classes laughing at Mr. Lambert’s jokes. 2. Lome carrying his dog in his arms. 3. Wilbraham’s car running very far. 4. Mr. Glen not using “EXPRESSING YOURSELF” in English I 5. James A. necking with Claretta Wright. 6. Keith Wakefield not having his Geometry done. 7. Phylis Hutchinson going to dances. 8. Jean not chasing Eddie Ringrose. 9. Betty Shumacher not being sarcastic. 10. Buddy White and Frank Nicholson out wolfing. 11. Valerie Sirois jitterbugging. 12. Charles Pollock passing English 3. (Must be the teachers). 13. Bill Horn doing his French homework. 14. Miss Bloom not bawling Lyman out in Social Studies- 15. Bill Veitch not turning around and talking to Shirley Bell- 16- Jo Murray and Lome McLeod not sitting together in school 17. Elmer Tory with 30% in any of his subjects. I Wonder Why 1. Georgena used to like the grade nine room so well. 2. Florence likes coming for Biology I. (Could it be Eddie?) 3- Gerald Ford likes Marjorie Joyce’s desk so well. 4. Lenore Wright gave up hope with Doug, (could it be Fred.) 5. Buddy White doesn’t go with girls, (one in Greensnields.) 6. Jocelyn Winter has such white teeth. (Could it be the Den¬ tal corps). 7. Bill sits so close to Miss Bloom’s desk. 8. Mr. Lambert likes the home ec. biscuits. (That must be where he gets those jokes that bounce.) 9. Dinny, Fred and Bill took their cookie dusters otf. (Oh well, culdn’t see them any way.) 10. Lyman looked so down-hearted when Lionel came home. 11. Margret Eisel likes to sit near Pat Buckton’s desk. 12. Patsy White and Shirley Woodward are as good wolves as L.Y.D. and I.P. By Irene Pollock and Lois Donelly 48

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ADVERTISING The publication of our first Year Book was greatly aided by the advertisements in this section. Thanks everybody for your generous co-operation. The Year Book Staff.