Wadsworth High School - Whisperer Yearbook (Wadsworth, OH)

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PROPHECY After an exhausting day, how good the cool sheets felt as I snuggled down into them! The moonlight came streaming in through my win- dow: and as I turned my head, I suddenly caught sight of the calendar hanging on the wall. The date was May 30, 1967. Beside it hung my high school diploma. Oh, what memories it brings back! It was just about this time twenty years ago that my classmates and I were graduating. Golly, who could have prophesied then what we would be doing to- day-twenty years later? Let's see now, what has become of all of us? Oh yes----- Dick Yackee is the proprietor of a plush peanut stand in front of Akron's Bubble Bar. With every bag of peanuts he sells, he bursts forth with an aria from Figaro to please his exclusive clientele. Opal Mosgrove, after five unsuccessful at- tempts, has finally succeeded in setting a new world's record for flagpole sitting. Homer Gaugler, her energetic and extremely clever press agent, is negotiating with Chet O'Kelly's Cafe to sponsor her in the annual English Channel swim. Tom Witschey has succeeded Maurice Evans as the world's greatest Shakespearean actor. Mary Long caused quite a stir yesterday when she celebrated her twentieth wedding anniversary by turning six cartwheels and simultaneously twirling her baton on top of the Injector smoke stack. Bill Livingston and Iack Lahr finally emerged from their mountain retreat where they had spent years of ceaseless toil, hardships, and struggle perfecting a mechanism designed to convey them to the sun. Eventually the great day of their take-off arrived. lust as everything was ready to go, lack became terribly befuddled and pushed the wrong button. Instead of sailing to the sun the contraption went zooming head- long into the earth. Unofficial reports say that the pair came out in China and that they are now house guests of Chiang Kai-Shek. Edna Mae Overholt is skipper of the luxury liner, The Cleopatra, making pleasure voyages up the River Styx. Lawrence Busch and Carl Few, outstanding social workers, are now embroidering pink and blue posies on bonnets for the Old Ladies' Home. Reginald Earley has retired to a ranch in Hametown where 'he will spend the rest of his life raising prize-winning squash for the Medina County Fair. Glenna Moyer has recently been seen in the movie short, How to Exterminate Undesir- able Insects. Her right hand is shown wielding a fly swatter that massacres two unfortunate flies. This experience has given Glenna great hope for future movie roles. Stanley Bowers, known as the Fearless Deathdodger, is testing kiddie cars at Wolf's. The world-renowned adventuresses, Darlene Pike and Betty Earnest, had their outrigger ca- noe completely overhauled in preparation for the whaling expedition they plan to make up the Euphrates River. The bobby soxers are really being sent by Al Dutt's playing of a hot ear trumpet in the Salvation Army Band. Marcene Blair is rumored to be the brains behind the unscrupulous River Rats gang, which specializes in smuggling hot clams across the border. The nimble and ever-so -graceful ballet dancer, Bob Griner, and his equally lovely part- ner, Mary McMillen, head the famous French Ballet Troupe. They are said to be sensational. Betty Lou Koppelberger, the steeplejack, takes in washings on the side in order to sup- port her pet rhinoceros and two toads. Don Fraley has just been notified by officials of the A 6- P firm that he, and he alone, will have complete jurisdiction over the vegetable bin. After twenty-one years of being general handy man, this promotion came as a complete and wonderful surprise to the progressive young man. Ioanne Snyder has been voted the favorite model of 1967 by the photographers of WOW and PEEK magazines. Charles Petit has retired to a cave in Dog- patch where he hopes to grow his world-famous beard in peace. At the last count it measured 5,280.6 99fl00 feet. Christine Graham is manufacturing jumping ropes for Mexican jumping beans. Carol Transue and Betty Eckhoff have per- fected a cheap process whereby the pages of school books can be photographed on microfilm and then read through a miniature viewer while taking a test. They are expected to make mil- lions on this project. Carl Simcox, the iceman, has been offered numerous executive positions in many compan- ies: but Carl always declines, saying he can have a lot more fun being just the man who comes around. Carla Rae Bolich went through the wringer last week. After the ordeal, she gleefully ex- claimed she'd always wanted a pencil-slim torso anyhow. She is reported to have added six inches to her height through this transaction. Sir Richard Flath recently submitted his mem- Dick's Hardware, Inc. 27

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SENIORS THOMAS WITSCHEY Better know nothing than half know many things. RICHARD YACKEE Bed is the boon for me. CALVIN YODER Plain as the nose on his face. NOT PICTUBED George Dafo Beatrice Penov George Nelson Richard Stuart Curtis Men's Wear

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PROPHECY oirs for publication: but, as suspected, they didn't pass the censor. DARN! Marge Styer is still at W. H. S. arguing with the teachers over the grades she deserved but never got. The eminent lerry Stuver, who was valedic- torian of his class at Harvard and also at Yale, where he took post-graduate work for twelve years, has accepted the job of reconditioning old and rusty stop signs in River Styx and Sharon Center. Beulah Good is writing spicy feature stories for the Police Gazette. Leslie Kee is still arguing in the Supreme Court with Iacob Fretz whether Iohn Ducar's head is a mixture or a compound. Sally Iames, known as the Dynamic Mouse, is still king of the boxing world today, having K. O.'d the 620 pound Dirty Gertie in the 28th round last night. The notorious Bob Mosier, better known as Speed, has just established another pony ex- press company in order to increase his tooth- pick shipments to the Acme. Dr. Dean Semler, the chimney sweep, is be- ing hailed from all corners of the earth for his surgical triumph. He did the impossible bv con- verting Hugh McCreery to normal life. Unfor- tunately, though, he failed to cure Winona Griner of her insane belief that she is a type- writer ribbon. The two blonde beauties, Lucille Few and Esther Welty, have invented a number of col- ored eye dyes to match their famous hair dyes. As a result of this invention, beauty authorities predict that a fad of having hair and eyes of the same color will sweep the country. Fred Hoerger has moved to Tennessee with his wife and seventeen children. He runs a plantation with eighteen slaves: namely, his wife and seventeen children. Eva Platz and Iacqueline Doss are modeling French bathing suits for the Spitoon Club. Calvin Yoder recently took over the former librarian's place after impeaching her for em- bezzling money from the over-due fund. Pauline Alexander sailed for home today after touring Europe with the Metropolitan Opera. She revealed to her closest friends that she intends to retire because every time she hits high F, above middle C, that is, her right floating rib punctures her left lung. Iohn Kelly had a grand opening of his new establishment, Kelly's Kleen Dydee Wash. He claims his business is sure to be a success be- cause so many people are going into second childhood. Two curvaceous de-icers, Betty Lou Deeser and Dorothy Baker, are called the sweethearts of the chorus line. They gained this distinction because of their unbelievably high kicks. Patrick Hayth has been elected president of the exclusive Skyscrapers Club. Flossie Price is the featured dancer in Harri- son's Harum at Chippewa Lake. Robert Harrison, the Harum's well-known manager, says profits have more than doubled since Flossie's colossal debut. George Nelson is the town's friendly under- taker. Maybe I shouldn't have started this life- less business, groaned George the other day, 'cause the only people who come to see me anymore are big stiffs. Mary Alice Smith and Carol Parker have just departed for the Antarctic under the aus- pices of the famous biologist, Professor Robert McCafferty, where they will search for red ant eggs which Professor McCafferty resolutely be- lieves originated there during the glacial age. Bill Cahoon made so much money on his potted dandelion plant that he was able to pay off the mortgage on his greenhouse and buy half a dozen sweet pea seeds besides. Barbara Welday Cahoon, his vivacious wife. has a little shop in the rear of her hubby's greenhouse where she's trying to grow morn- ing glories that will bloom in the middle of the night. Mildred Allenbaugh and Barbara Rohrer are traveling through Europe delivering catnip to millions of poverty stricken homes in honor of Be Kind to Pussy Cat Week. Theodore Chernak, president of the firmly established Peep All, See All Window Shade Co., has been arrested for the fifteenth consecu- tive time for window peeping. But, as usual, he was cleared of all charges by his brilliant attorney, Iames Birkbeck, who stated that Theo- dore was only doing his duty by testing the quality of his product. The Misses Carol Ann Broderick and Susie Stuart are in Nova Scotia where they are con- ducting an exclusive acrobatic school for girl hippopotamuses. Iames Hoddinott has established a huge autogyro service between the two thriving me- tropolises of Lodi and Poe. He expects to have seventeen autogyros leave each city destined for the other every two minutes. The mysterious famine that swept through northeastern Ohio last month was solved this week by that dauntless super-sleuth, Sir Alfred Smith. The famine, he told reporters, was caused by one ravenous human, Alice Crook, who, it seems, can never get enough to eat. She not only raided homes and grocery stores of all 28 D. H. L. Feed 84 Supply Co.