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Page 25 text:
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liim I ' t ' sembk ' the r-tagc dixir Jnhiiny. and made him conspicious even among the gay- Iv cohired costumes that passed by. No one else but Pete Kline, now Flo Zieg-flehls right hand man in picking his world fam- ous chorus girls. Eattling down the street painfully, and squeaking from the lack of proper greas- ing, came a horse and wagon. The horse, with bones almost shining through the skin, seemed on the last lap of life, and father time seemed to have it in his cold hands. On the seat was Ed Gribbon, telling the World that he was a buyer of Rags, Iron, Bones, and Paper, to the asthmatic, w-heez- ing attempts of a delapidated aeeordian to render music. With the hope that I would not be recognized, I ducked in a nearby alley way, and farther down, I spied a far worse sight. There, ijerched on the top of a wagon with the words City Garbage Service ' printed on the side, was John Showalter. He saw me and rushed to give me his greet- ing. He said he w-as living in a most dis- heartening environment, to give his whole heart to an invention which would save the human race from many hours of toil. I heartily agreed with the first of his speech, but diiubted the latter and bade him good- bye. Coming from the alley, I noticed a man walking slowly towards me, meanwhile gaping at the citedals of business. He was clad in the typical raiment of the Ameri- can peasant, and as he was nearly upon me, he stumbled on a protruding piece of the side walk, and fell to the pavement. I hurried to the spot where he had fallen, and as I picked him up, I saw through the crop of jutting, black whiskers, the face of Charlie Billington. I discovered he was the sole owner of a small town newspaper, the Squcedunk Bugle, which he also managed, besides being editor, jiroof reader, linot.vpe man, and pa]ier carrier. After leaving him, I went down the street on a rubberneck buss ' , and there was Helen Stonehour, telling the people of the wonders of New York. I might also mention that George Ross was driving the buss. As I stood there, rooted to the spot by amazement, a short, rather buxom lady, bustled up and greeted me. 1 saw in hei ' features, Mary Schuler, who informed me that she was in a partnership with Ritter Lavengood, running a Penny Arcade on Coiiev Island. After withstanding a half hours fire of words, I was glad to break away, and left in peace until I saw Doc • Cornell come from a gymnasium, with a crowd of youngsters on his heels. Doe in- foimed me he was teaching the city urchin the art of rolling a marble straight, and was making a huge success of it, having turned out a champion marble team. 1 also found that Homer Knee was making good coaching in Uffumpoof Colle ge, where Homer had turned out a team that had beat the ancient rivals of the school — Poffenboof College. Feeling fatigued from the days strenucms activities, I walked to a nearby park, and slumped on a Ijench. I heai ' d queei- mumbling behind me, and I heaid the words Ah, Jack Dalton, you cattle rustling varmint, I have you in my ])ower. Puzzled by this, for I thought cattle rustling in New York would not be a successful business measure, 1 peered through the bushes which obscured my view, and there seated on the ground was Powell Pearson. He immediately jumped to a standing position, railing at me for spoiling his divine inspiration. His anger quickly subsided, and I heard that Powell was writing for the Western Story Maga- zine . Powell has always shown literary genius, ever since his days as star reporter for the Plain Dealer. Edna Heinke, thinking she was close to the wall, started to lean back, instead she was a little too far and fell down. Th-y tell me she was talking lo Cliarles Coburn, and we take it that this is the way slu- fell for him. Let us thank Mr. Wrigley. If it were not for chewing gum, lots of people we know would never get any e.xercise at all. 1st — It was so cold where I came from that th.e water froze so quickly tlic ice was wann. 2nd — That ' s nothing; it ' s so cold ulu ' re I came from that when a man talks t(i you you have to take the words in by the tire thaw them out and piece the conversation together. Fled Morrow — This school lias turned out some good men. Lawrciici ' Uiviy — When ilid ynu grad- uate 1 F. M. — That ' s the |ioiiit I ' m bringing out — I didn ' t.
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