Versailles High School - Portal Yearbook (Versailles, OH)

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SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY Dum de dum dum We are after the facts-nothmg but the facts We are worklng out of M1SS1Hg Persons Bureau February 9 1979 when we recelved an anonymous phone call From th1s report we gathered that slxty two persons mysterxously dlsappeared on a certaln May mght 1n the year of 1954 We hopped 1n our squad car and raced to the scene of the crlme Upon arrlvxng at the place we found one of the mlssmg persons Char les Volsard who had taken Webb McE1downey s place as chlef custodlan of V H S We questloned Volsard unmercnfully t1ll he confessed to us some more of what had happened on the May mght Cont1nu1ng the search of V H S vse found Sue Foster had taken Mlss Smxth s place as Commerclal teacher Suddenly a strange odor came to our attentlon No lt couldnt be not coffee' We mvestlgated the odor whlch led us to the school cafeterla where we found Edna Kelch the manager servmg coffee to her chlef cook and bottle washer Paul Plerron Paul bemg a man of worldly knowledge gave us some important facts we wanted It seems that Carol Bergman Elleen Dorsten Elleen Rethman and Joan Rethman are stlll gngglmg ln Study Hall The next fact uncovered was that B111 Berger IS the head deslgner for the new engmeless Wlllys wlth Ed Petltjean as h1s Chlef fountam pen filler As we left V H S we caught Roberta Barga stlll tryxng to parallel park wlth Fred Condon successor to Jerry Lewls sellxng Blg Oranges to spectators watchlng the comlcal slght Lookmg northwest from Versallles we caught a gllmpse of some brlght llghts We went to lnvestlgate there we found Frenchtown s Monte Carlo wlth Edward Goubeaux as the card shark wlth Jack Bxlger stxll not paylng h1s IO U s and stlll swxtchmg Jobs Suddenly a zoomlng nolse roared above our heads lt was the Queen of the A1r Marlanna Young and her S ace Patrol We went to the corner news stan to buy a daxly paper ln the paper controverslal subject of whether he should enter the natlonal pmg pong contest w1th Jane Frantz fnrst woman to be Speaker of the House of Rep resentatxves We traced a clue to New York Cnty where we found Nancy Zeller had been promoted to President of the W W Mac Co largest cha1n of stores sellmg Jackle P1ttsenbargers latest 1nvent1on The famous P1tts1e s Plnk Professional P U Soap-lt doesnt lather doesn t clean doesnt smell but IS company ln the bath tub An lmportant clue was brought to our attentlon to proceed lmmedlately to Hollywood Cahfornla There we found Barbara Jean Foster and Tony Gr1l11ot runmng a Jomt busmess It seems that Tony and Barbara have developed the latest ln hair styles It IS called The Real Nothmg m whlch one slde of the head IS shaved to a burr wlth the other s1de m a long dlgnx fled page boy Gatherlng some more facts we found that Mary Allce Neff had accepted the posltlon of head physlcal educatxon lnstructor at Notre Dame We found that Mary Angela Paulus had taken over Claras Cotton Shop and now has a large cham of stores The largest bemg m Hollywood featuring the famous desxgner Pat Oehrtman creator of Toughle Tops Dandy Dxapers for Toddlers Be1ng starved we found ourselves Ill the famous restaurant The Mar shall Motor Inn Wlth proprletor Delores DeMange preparing her famous Dees Dehghtful Dangerous Hot Dogs served with Alka Seltzer as the sxde d1sh Catchmg up on our rest we fhpped on our TV set and caught Bonme Lou Elsle Hammaker on the Mid Southern Strawrlde w1th Paul Huber suc cessor to W1ll1e Thal and h1s corny Jokes Ready to begm our search agaln we hopped 1n our squad car But fmdmg lt Just about out of gas we stopped at the Berme Puppy Atomic Gas lCont1nued on page 483 '14 . i Y . . . . , - . , . . l . . V . . , . . . , . , l 7 Y l ' .l 1 . snuv , , , a . . . Q - K6 n ,, 1 . Y . ' 7 9 . . . . , . . , . . . . . . . I ' . -. H . ,, . 5 we read a report from the President of the United States, J. J. Bey, on the . , - . . . ., . . . . , . . - . . , . ' ' 1 1 1 ' 0 ' ' 1 1 1 s a n, . n o ' I 1 v a . n at 1 ,, o o ' H l ,, . . . c u I lc l 1 ' U u ' n it - ,, . . . H 7 ' H ' - 1 ' O '

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