Vernonia High School - Memolog Yearbook (Vernonia, OR)

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Larry Brown, the tough homicide captain, had cleaned up New York crime and made his life's ambition to enforce traffic laws and bring back prohibition. His wife, JoAnne Cochran, the famous socialite, who danced the can can on the table tops in the Cocopocabana, was the hand behind the wheel as his devoted wife. Darlene Aspinall Vanderhigh was the owner of the Bodle cannery and Rartwick berry fields in Banks. As a strict advocate of Cretoria she has become a famous model at the House of Nine in portland on the side. Norman Hillsbery was the idol of the bobby soxers, to whom he was known as Jan Vohnson. The skeleton in his closet was pancake makeup for freckles. After retiring he built a chain of grocery stores called the Sureway in competition with Safeway. The most outstanding scientist and brain surgeon in scientific history was Mary Tapp who has gained fame by discovering a method of transplanting the brain of a monkey to a man and vice versa. Her first experiment spent some time at the New York Zoo where he was featured as the most intelligent monkey in the country. The poor monkey gave her a lot of trouble for she didn't know what to with it. Sophisticated, cynical Janet Siedelman has become an avid man hater and has won fame and fortune as a state prosecutor who has never lost a case against a man. Doris Hahmeyer, internationally known spy, was living incognito in Europe while she wrote a suquel to I Can Get It For You Wholesale entitled Anything You Can Buy I Can Buy Cheaper. One member of our class is not present. That is the famous jet and rocket test pilot, Nona Sawyer. She was testing a new type of long distance rocket ship but something went wrong and she is now living on Pluto. Tommy Peters, retired Navy Admiral who bought Society Islands, had 7 mansions and founded 20 universities specializing in repairing automobiles. Jimmy Smejkal, outstanding M. C. of Queen for a Day, It Pays to be Ignorant and Break the Bank, is married to Little Egypt the third, who shimmied and shivied her way to fame. Little Egypt was formerly known as Leona Hoehner. Loopy Larry Gamer and Droopy Deraid Borders, the retired hot rod kings, replaced Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. Their hidden personalities were finally revealed. How were we to know deep inside Deraid longed to be a groaning romeo. Tne distinguished president of Ivy College is none other than Loren Mills. In Loren s High School days he always said he d like to direct a chorus line, and he told me the other day that's what he did for pin money on the Q. T. Gordon Crowston, our handsome Nordic Olympic Star, took Hopalong Cassidy's place in the movies and played Macbeth on the Broadway stage during the summer. Bob Allen was a jockey at Santa Anita Race Track and raised Cocker Spaniels on the side. I, when on Earth, held a position that will be most startling to all of you classmates. Sasperella Carson became the President of the United States. Yours truly, Sharon Magoff

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IH II I VI To you, the descendents of Earth Venus the 2nd: Once there was a planet naraed Earth which was completely destroyed in 1990. A small group succeeded in escaping in the first space ship ever built that could reach Venus. To our surprise, all the survivors turned out to be the members of the class of 52 of Vemonia High School in Vernonia, Oregon, plus their families. We were the ones chosen to populate and build the new world. The planet was fertile3 no race had ever lived here, so we named the planet. Earth Venus the 2nd, and set about to form a democratic government. Judy Canova was replaced by Glenda Corll, who with her famous husband, Martin Einstein Tapp, inventor of the floor, that swept, mopped, and waxed itself, made a spectacular production featuring their yodeling chorus composed of their ten children. Norma Elliott, the retired used car dealer, was increasing her fortunes in the role of Little Eva on the Adam and Eve radio serial entitled, Bob's Other Wife. Twinkle Toes Howard worked her way up from Loren's Broadway Chorus line to become the Sarah Bumhardt of the modem era. Charlotte Davis, our contempory of Emily Dickerson, isolated herself from the world in a small villa in Spain, writing poetry about the tragic lost love of her youth. Some of her better known verses are: Chains Around My Heart, The Last Ray, and in the humorous field she is known for her I Tripped Over a Size Twelve Shoe. The outstanding modem artist, our former Laura Steers, has topped Artie Shaw for marriages, as she was recuperating in her Paris studio from the emotional stress of breaking the bonds of her twelfth marriage just before she took off to the new planet. Her latest title is the Baroness of Blockenbraus. Our shy Bettie Davis has become one of the most agressive and famous department store buyers in the United States due to her training in the student store. The Australian Bushman and hunter who owned a 5000 acre crow ranch is none other than David Pittelkau, who in his spare time wrote a boo:: on the art of staying single in 150 easy lessons. Jim Frank with his wife, Beverley Closner, had started a great religious crusade to save the poor souls of the natives in the black heart of Africa. They had completed a 15 year safari with their family of 16 children. It is too bad the earth was destroyed and their work was in vain. Velma Snyder had worked her Way up from a television model to replace Dagmar on her own T. V. show entitled How to Attract Women or Life's Passionate Secrets. Her latest French creations from Paris . ere the scandals of the channels. The dashing romeo of the airwaves, Hollywood news commentator, Jim Sozoff, held the title of Most Eligible Bachelor for a quarter of a century. He was finally captured by alluring Maggie Michener, who for years deceived the public as a child star in such hits as I Was a Cement Mixer but there Wasn't Any Cement. The retired ballet queen, DeeDee Thompson and the Bubble Gum King, Bill Wells, married and ran a Christian Rehabilitation Home for alcoholics and drug addicts. The one black sheep in our class was Alice Davis, who served a ten year prison sentence for counterfeiting three dollar bills. However, she has been rehabilitated and was the warden of Sing Sing. 5

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 I, Bob Allen, will my after school job as a grease monkey to Claude Gibson. I, Darleene Aspinall, will my Miss America figure to Marilyn Good. I, Deraid Borders, will my letterman club paddle to Francis Crowston. I, Larry Frown, will my bottle of Four Roses to anyone who can take it from me. I, Beverley Closner, will my voice to anyone who needs one. I, JoAnn Cochran, will my quiet and subdued manner to Bill MacDonald. I, Glenda Corll, will my yodeling to whoever can stand it. I, Gordon Crowstcn, will my big feet to David Closner. I, Alice Davis, will my vim and vigor to nPoopless Perry.” I, Bettie Davis, will my long finger nails to Jennie Powell. I, Charlotte Davis, will my love for Social Fcon. to anyone who can stand it. I, Norma Elliott, will willingly will anything I own except Bob. I, Jim Frank, will my love for girls to my little brother, Dickie. I, Larry Garner, will my unusual way of driving to Donald Morgan. I, Doris Haiimeyer, will my bright red sweater to anyone who isn’t a red head. I, Norman Hillsbury, will my blond curly hair to Lee Faulk. I, Leona Hoehner, will my extra inches of height to Inetta May. I, Barbara Howard, will my name, Penelope Jones, to Wayne Aldrich. I, Sharon Magoff, will my forgetfulness to Jeanette DeRoia. I, Margaret Michener, will my almost black hair to Shirlee Vike. I, Loren Kills, will my love for jalopies to Bruce Hoyt. I, Darlene Morgan, will my old battered desk to the new high school. I, Tommy Peters, will my love for tinkering with cars to Glenna Pearl. I, David Fittelkau, will all my Hawk pistols and shells to David Strong. I, Nona 3a yer, will my ability to stay out of class to Frances Kaspar. I, Janet Siedelman, will my treasury books to next year’s treasurer. I, Jim Smejkal, will, you know I will! I, Velma Snyder, will what I haven’t to Donna Nightwine. I, Jim Sozoff, will my cultured and witty stories to Wally Ratkie. I, Laura Steers, will my pencils and paint brushes to Ora Mae Smith. I, Mary Tapp, will what bookkeeping ability I have to Joyce Howard. I, Martin Tapp, will my height to Joe Snook. I, DeeDee Thompson, will my yell leader position to Phil Sisler. I, William Oliver Wells, will my books to anyone who can find them. THE .SENIOR CLASS OF 1.95.2, DO HEREBY SET OUR HAND AND SEAL THIS TWENTY —FIRST DAY OP NINETEEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY -TWO. COMPLIMENTS OF - --DR. R.D. EBY 7